


SuperAlpha

by TheEvangelion



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alpha Kara, Alpha Maggie, Alpha Supergirl, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Breeding, Endgame, F/F, GP, Hurt/Comfort, Impregnation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Alex, Omega Lena, Omega Lena Luthor, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Rough Sex, Sanvers - Freeform, Slow Burn, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2018-09-25 15:27:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 60,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9826418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEvangelion/pseuds/TheEvangelion
Summary: Alex and Maggie have been taking bets since they were first mated over whether Kara is an Omega or an Alpha. Twenty-three years old and she has still yet to present as either. But when she turns up to the DEO starting her rut — panic ensues over what the Woman of Steel will be capable of doing in her desire for an Omega.Until Alex can trust Kara around human Omegas during her rut, she makes the decision to put her sister in a cell until she can figure out what to do… and to precisely no-one's surprise, the only Omega Kara had been around, Lena Luthor, is coming into her heat too.This mess is the last things Alex needs, after all, she's hiding a pretty big secret of her own... then again she isn't the only one with a secret or two.





	1. Chapter I

"I don't feel good." Kara's voice is barely a whisper.

It slips out tentatively and uncertain, she catches another breath and Alex snaps around from her microscope just in time to watch the woman of steel, her sister, buckle beneath her own knees like a paper crane.

"Okay, it's okay, just slow down,” Alex worries, gritting against how heavy her sister is as she scoops her up off the floor of the lab. "What's going on? Talk to me?"

"I... I don't know. I feel different,” she swallows and winces at the burning in her belly and it was an indescribable pain really, like trying to put colours into words or explain the way sometimes sounds have tastes. "Alex... what's happening to me?" she asks her sister, nervous and clutching her stomach. It hurts. It feels like ghosts are writhing around in her veins and her inhibitions are slipping away like a shrouded veil, and she can see the world _so much_ clearer for it.

There are new smells too, her sense of smell was always superior like the rest of her abilities but it's different, like she was colour-blind before but now she can see red and blue and green and orange for the first time. Lena smelled different. That's what frightened her and made her flee in the first place. She smelled of the beach and dirt after rain and before Kara knew it she was fighting back the urge to do dirty things.

"I think it's finally happening,” Alex slips the back of her hand over Kara's forehead. "You're coming into your first heat, it's not going to be pretty, but at least we know your biology is the same now…" she trails off and slips an arm beneath her sister. "Come on. Let's get you up."

Kara catches the scent of her sister as she's hauled up from the ground and gags on it. Retching and spluttering, she scuttles backwards like she's Kryptonite.

"What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Why do you smell like that? You smell awful!" Kara gags on her own saliva.

Alex hesitates, astounded and saddened. "You can smell me?" she frowns.

She stands there and shakes her head for a second, looking off to the ceiling. Of course this would happen. Of course it would just have to go this way. She'd imagined this day for most of her life. What it would be like when Kara would finally present her biology... she just always imagined it differently.

"Can't everyone smell that?"

"No... just Alphas coming into their rut."

"Wait. No. No, that isn't," Kara clenches on the truth, sighing and biting her cheek and waiting for this joke to be revealed. "That isn't possible. I'm not an Alpha."

"What your smelling is Maggie's claim. It stops you desiring mated Omegas during your rut." Alex explains tersely, boiling in her embarrassment.

"Alex..." her heart breaks in two at the thought of it. "I can't be..." she whispers and shakes her head at the mere idea.

"It's okay." Alex assures her sister with a small nod, tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear. "I promise it's going to be okay. Have I ever broken a promise before?" she lowers her brow at her sister.

Kara shakes her head.

"Well, I'd say you're in pretty safe hands then."

It wasn't that there was anything wrong with being an Alpha. It just wasn't what she'd been prepared for. It wasn't the news anyone wanted. She was a god, she was stronger and faster and just... more than. And the only thing that made that acceptable, the only reason she wasn't chased off the face of this planet, was the self-reservation and control she exerted in every waking moment of her life.

"What if I can't control myself?" Kara whispers. "What if I..." she trails off and her eyes pearl from held-back tears.

"Don't even say it." Alex snaps. "You would _never_ force yourself on someone."

"It happens."

"You're above that." Alex demands it of her, arms crossed over her chest. 

Kara nods timidly, she does it for her sister's benefit more than anything.

"We're going to do some bloodworks and get you home and it's going to be okay." Alex repeats these things, dragging the little metal cart over and tapping around her pockets for her phone. "Maggie will know what to do." she confirms.

"Okay." Kara says weakly, dragging herself up from the floor. She keeps a safe distance from her sister and the awful scent that clings to her. It smells like nothing she's smelled before. It smells like danger and fear and frightens her until the knot in her stomach is twice as big for it.

Alex busies herself around the lab in search of the Kryptonite hypodermic needles, they were the only thing capable of breaking Kara's skin to take a blood sample. It was an arduous search, though she tried to move as quickly as possible, opening cabinets and dragging her fingers through drawers until she finally found the box she was looking for.

"Alex what's that smell?" Kara groans, her voice tapering into a little inhaling huff.

"I can try to give you a hormone shot so I don't smell as awful but I doubt it would work against your genetic mapping." she explains, fiddling around with the kit. "If I can just... there!" Alex grins and wipes her brow, freeing the lid off the small container of liquid Kryptonite.

"No. Alex you don't understand…" Kara's voice trails and she groans again. "I feel like I have too…"

Alex looks up from the box of syringes, her stomach slips like footing on icy shale. The new recruit was walking down the steel corridor, pretty girl too, not much older than twenty-three and clearly without a bite on her neck. Panicking and aware of the inevitable, Alex tries to wave the Omega back down the hall away from her rutting sister.

"Kara stay there!" she snaps at her sister and gasps at the state of her.

Her pupils are already blown and the fine hair on her body stands on end like a predator ready to hunt. She huffs, inhales air like there isn't enough oxygen to feed her lungs. Shuddering and fighting against the flex of her joints, Alex watches and feels the panic swell inside of herself. Kara suddenly seems too big for her uniform.

"Kara…" she ignores the call of her name, chin tucked into her neck. "This isn't you… you don't have to give in to this." Alex whispers and takes another step towards the door, desperate to reach the lockdown button without making any sudden movements.

Kara's head snaps up and she stares at Alex, wordless and incapable of holding back the natural disaster taking over her body, shuddering against it like foundations in a hurricane.

"Can I get you anything Agent Danvers?" the young bright-eyed Omega opens the door with a naive smile.

Alex tries to push the girl away, tries to body-block her with the scent of her own claim, but Kara is too quick. The Woman of Steel snatches at the girl like a lion pouncing on its hindquarters and presses her into the cement wall at the far end of the lab.

"Kara!" Alex hisses and moves slowly towards them. "Let her go!"

The girl smells like vanilla and honey-blossom, it's sweet and fragrant and Kara buries her flexing nose into a shoulder to inhale a gasp of it. It's not as nice as the way Lena smelled, not as unavoidable or cataclysmic, perhaps it's for that reason only that she registers the way the girl tenses and freezes in her grasps.

"Kara listen to me." Alex takes a step closer and slips a Kryptonite shot off the steel surface, talking slowly the whole time. "This isn't you." she reconfirms it and takes another step. The girl is terrified, wide-eyed and frozen, trapped between the wall and Kara's powerful hands. "It's okay, she won't hurt you" she promises the girl and prays this won't be the first she'll break.

Kara blinks, hears the words, feels the tension in the girl's body, listens to her heart thump the cage of her chest like a wardrum. It stirs her from where she lurks beneath the surface of her rut and gives her enough self-control to see these things for what they are.

"I'm so sorry!" she gasps and pulls herself away from the girl, tossing her towards Alex as she does. "I'm so so sorry." she mouths and hates herself. "I… I didn't mean… I didn't _want_ to hurt anyone." her eyes pearl into confused blistering orbs.

"It's okay. She's okay." Alex confirms and quickly appraises the girl with a glance, she was a little shaken but fine otherwise. "Go find Henshaw and have a cell cleared." she whispers and knows full well her sister hears every word.

"Alex…" Kara pleads sheepishly. "You're not… you're not going to lock me up?"

Alex steps closer and takes her sister into a hug, guilty and biting her mouth. "Do you trust me?" she asks and feels Kara nod against her shoulder. "I'm doing this to protect you. No one else, Kara, always and only you. Okay?" she tells her and pushes the hypodermic needle in her arm.

There's a split second before the Kryptonite hits her blood and Alex wonders whether it will be her last. Kara's Alpha flexes and growls, but somehow, barely and not quite enough, Kara keeps it in check and sinks to the floor — weakened by the shot.

"I don't want to hurt like this." Kara whispers and clutches her gut where the fire burns inside of her. "Will it hurt like this always?" she asks her sister weakly, blinking off the inevitable sleep.

Alex sits and strokes her head and bites back her guilt. "No Honey." she assures her with a little smile. "You'll meet a nice girl and you'll have what Maggie and I have."

"That sounds nice."

"It does, doesn't it?"

"Don't let me hurt anyone." Kara whispers as sleep finally pulls her under. "Promise me, Alex?"

"I promise you." Alex smooths her hair and wants to cry, but she doesn't.

…

It's late in the evening when Maggie gets home. She takes off the layers of the day one by one and breezes through the apartment as she does, the jacket is thrown over the back of the sofa, her shoes are kicked off by the breakfast bar, the scarf is tossed on the kitchen counter and the natural disaster that is Maggie Sawyer finally dissipates at the fridge where they keep the beers. Alex tidies up after her, putting things in their rightful place with a little shake of her head.

"Is it really _so_ impossible for you to hang your coat on the rack?" she eyeballs her Alpha.

"Well, you can't teach an old dog new tricks…"

"Yep. Maybe it's time to send the old dog to the big farm in the sky." Alex smirks and peers over the coat rack.

"Ouch, Danvers." Maggie chuckles and opens two beers. "I think you need one of these more than I do." she places it on the counter.

"You have no idea." Alex agreed with a sulk and slipped over the laminate towards the open bottle. "Kara presented today."

"No way! Puppy Danvers?! Super-Pupper got her heat?!" Maggie balked loudly and set a hand on her hip. "I don't have to put the hurt on any overeager Alphas do I?" she settled into a furrowed brow.

"Trust me, the only overeager Alpha I dealt with today was Kara."

"Wait." Maggie puzzled.

"Yep." Alex beat her to it and watched the clogs turn in her mate's eyes. "Kara is an Alpha." she whispered and sighed.

"Nope. No way. Kara is packing heat?"

"I don't want to think about it."

"Well she's gonna need a longer skirt." Maggie mused.

"Quit it!" Alex almost gagged on the thought and shoved her Alpha in the arm. "I was going to stay at the DEO tonight. We had to put her in a cell until we figure this thing out. I didn't want to leave her but… she was just... there. So tiny and helpless, curled up asleep like a kid again. I couldn't bare to look at her in that cage." Alex admitted guiltily. "Do you think it makes me a bad person putting her there?" she asked quietly.

"Baby, no." Maggie let her surprise known, shocked Alex could even think like that. "I spent my first rut locked in my room for four days. It sucked and it hurt and all I wanted to do was tear the bricks out of the wall but that was way better than the alternative. Until she can control herself you're doing her a favour."

"It's not the same, Maggie, she's _Supergirl_. I don't know if the city can survive four days without her." Alex complained and sort out Maggie's body for reassurance, her arms slipping along the small of her waist, nose nuzzling into the spot on her neck that smelled like home. 

"We'll be just fine. She'll be just fine." Maggie promises and kisses her Omega's forehead. "The city wouldn't survive four days of her if she was loose on her first rut."

"You're right." Alex whispered and hated her a little for it.

Maggie held her close and pressed a kiss to the bite mark on her neck. Somehow, it made it easier to exist. No matter the problem or the awfulness of the day, the tiny puckered bite on her neck that dimpled the skin just slightly always reminded her there was someone to lean on. Always and forever, because that was the deal.

Effortlessly Alex quickly found herself picked up in Maggie arms, she felt guilty for chuckling but she couldn't stop the happy little noise, arms slipping around her Alpha's neck whilst they moved towards the bed.

Maggie released her with a small little grunt and flopped her down on the mattress, setting down their beers on the side table before she joined at her side. "I know it's not easy but I can help. I'll talk to Kara and answer any questions she's got."

"Do you think that would be kind of weird?" Alex huffed, tucking her head into Maggie's shoulder. "You're like her big sister too."

"A big sister who knows what it's like to pop a knot once a month. Which, by the way, is as painful as it sounds."

"Really?" Alex mused and met her eyes with a little teasing glance. "You never seem to complain."

"That's because I have an amazing, beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous, perfect, fantastic," she punctuated each word with a kiss up her neck, "beautiful girl who knows _just_ how to calm me down."

"You said beautiful twice." Alex hummed.

"I know."

"Is this you being romantic?" Alex raised a brow and tossed a hip over Maggie's gut. "Because it's really working for me."

Their rut cycle was still a few days away. They would get their designated four days off from work, Maggie would complain for a few hours whilst her rut came in, they would make hot dirty love all day with Alex on all fours until her knees gave out. Alex would try to get out of bed, Maggie would growl possessively and keep her knotted until she was satiated, and round and round they would go, every month, until the little pregnancy test tucked away in the bathroom cabinet finally told them what they wanted to hear.

But Alex felt her arousal simmer in her gut like an early summer. It was a symptom of pregnancy, the scientist in her recognised it, but the grief in her refused too. Not after the last time. Not until there was a bump and a crib and a useless adorable perfect Alpha growling and stomping around protectively.

"Are you okay?" Maggie kissed her jaw.

"Yeah," Alex blinked and forced a smile, slipping her leg off and earning a little whining noise from her Alpha in the process. "I'm going to take a bath, will you join me?"

"Is that a request or a demand?"

"A plea." Alex purred, kissing her mate's mouth softly. "Tomorrow is going to be terrible and I want to enjoy every second of you whilst I can."


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up this story switches perspectives between Sanvers and Supercorp from chapter to chapter, so next chapter it will be Supercorp dominant and so on and so forth...

The happy sunbeam became a natural disaster, pounding against the walls of her cell with gnashing teeth and fists that relentlessly drummed the enclosure in hopes of escape. Kara was on day three, refusing to eat or drink, she became more beast than woman thanks to her inexperience in handling her rut and though she tried not to dwell, the fear sat in Alex's gut like merciless lead that maybe she never would. She was a God amongst mortals after all.

Alex watched her on the monitor and felt nothing but shameless guilt for not going downstairs to see her.

She just couldn't do it. Not whilst Kara was like this, not whilst she wasn't Kara at all. It was a hopeless empty pursuit spending the day thinking about her little sister — her rut would come to an end eventually but in the interim there wasn't a cure she could create or an antidote to lessen the sheer violence of her agony. It didn't stop her doing just that though, pen drumming her desk, lips in her teeth, stuck in the problem of her little sister all day.

Maggie promised she would check up on Not-So Little Danvers after work and Alex hung on to the words. Maybe she would be able to fix it, she was surprisingly good at fixing things. Maybe Kara just needed help from someone who understood her agony… yet another thing Alex wasn't adequately capable of handling by herself. It was this thought that finally made her snap the HB in her hand and earn a little concerned glare from J'onn across the room.

He better not be reading her thoughts, she grimaced at the idea.

"Danvers," O'Malley called from the staircase and pulled her attention. "Lena Luthor is waiting upstairs — she says she's not leaving until she speaks to you."

Alex felt her head ache with the monstrosity of her growing temper. If it wasn't Kara, it was work, and if it wasn't work, it was the tiny problem of her missed period, and if it wasn't any of that… it was Lena Luthor.

"Tell her to go home." Alex sighed, spinning in her desk chair.

"It didn't work the first four times, can you just go and talk to her? I have better things to do today." he grouched and strolled to his office before Alex could formulate a reply.

Groaning and inconvenienced, Alex pulled herself out of her chair and stomped down the cement corridors to the service elevator. Lena was the only Omega her little sister had been around all week but what was inexplicable was how the Luthor knew to come here. Kara was always so careful about her identity… it made no sense.

Surely Kara didn't reveal her— no. Alex wouldn't even let herself finish the thought. Kara was naive and sweet and too trusting but she wasn't stupid, and sharing her real identity with a Luthor? That was as stupid as ideas got.

Alex passed the nine sub-basement floors that separated her and Lena Luthor absolutely mindlessly. Instead of thinking she just stared at herself in the mirror, she noted the tiny pink in her cheeks and colour in her skin, she would definitely come into her heat early this month; Maggie was already instinctively prowling around this morning because of it. Alex had to practically shew her out of the door for work just to get the Alpha out of her underwear.

The elevator doors opened and Alex buried those sublime little thoughts for later. True to form Lena was stubbornly sat in the reception lobby, one leg folded over the other and perfectly tailored arms crossed over her chest. Did she really have nothing better to do? Alex grumbled internally. It was moments like this she wished Lena was just a  _ tiny bit _ evil so she had a reason to justify her hatred. But Lena wasn't guilty of anything, except her occasional insufferable arrogance.

"Alex!" Lena offered a smile, stepping forward with a coat draped over her arm. "Sorry to bother you at work—"

"If you were sorry Lena you would have left the first four times you were asked to go." Alex scowled.

Lena nodded awkwardly and swallowed, forcing that unbreakable smile back into her cheeks. "Well, I can see you're busy so I'll make this quick… I just want to make sure Kara is okay. I haven't seen her in a few days and that's very, well,  _ unlike _ Kara."

"Kara's fine." Alex lied, crossing her arms over her chest. "She's back home visiting mom."

"You don't have to pretend. I know the truth, Alex."

"Excuse me?"

"I know." Lena reiterated. "I've known for a long time and I just want to know she's okay."

"So she told you?" Alex's jaw began to grind.

"Wasn't it blindingly obvious in the first place?" Lena sighed and rolled her eyes.

Alex felt the weight of the room sit on her chest. It was anger at first, then disappointment, and then sorrow. Kara had told Lena everything and invited her into a tiny group of those closest to her who knew the truth, the knowledge of it attacked her until she had to look to the ceiling for a moment and scowl into the ether.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are, Lena, but you are not one of us." Alex righted herself with a hiss and stepped forward, forcing the Luthor to take a step back. "I don't know why my sister trusted you with the truth or what it is about you that turns her into a teenage girl but if you tell  _ anyone _ that she is Supergirl, if you  _ ever _ try to use that against her—"

"Wait, what?" Lena's eyes blinked in confusion. "Kara is Supergirl?" she whispered.

"Oh god."

"Kara Danvers is Supergirl?" Lena repeated, absolutely dumbfounded.

"Shit."

"Kara is—"

"Okay, stop." Alex held her hand up as if it would still the spin of the earth for just a moment. "You said that you knew!" she blurted defensively.

"That she was an Alpha? Of course I knew!"

"Oh Jesus Christ." Alex cringed at the error.

"Kara is here, isn't she?" Lena's permanent smile became a determined glare. "I want to see her."

"That's not going to happen."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Because  _ you _ said so?" Lena glared. "I totally get that you don't like me very much but the one thing we do have in common is her." she burned with determination, "And all I want, all I care about, is seeing that she is okay with my own two eyes."

She was coming into her heat. It didn't surprise Alex at all, she expected as much, and yet somehow the knowledge still punched her in the solar-plexus that whatever it was going on between them wasn't a passing infatuation or a keen friendship. She didn't want to dictate Kara's life, didn't want to be the person telling her who she could and couldn't find worth within, but why the hell did it have to be Lena Luthor?

"If you care about Kara like you say you do, walk out of that door and keep your mouth shut, don't tell anyone who she is and wait until she's ready and  _ capable _ of talking to you because right now she isn't."

Hanging her head, Lena accepted the defeat with a small nod. It was the closest Alex came to feeling guilty; though not anywhere near enough to do something about it. 

"Will you tell her…" her voice trailed off into nothing. "You know what, forget it." she turned on her heels.

"Tell her what?" Alex called after her.

Lena paused and looked over her shoulder, eyeing the older Danvers up and down. "Just, tell her I do care, she'll know what I mean." Lena softened on the words.

"I'll pass it on."

…

Deep in the guts of the apartment Maggie was sprawled over the sofa with the flimsy crochet blanket tucked around her and a bottle of wine on the coffee table. She wasn't due to start her rut for a few days and yet she found herself leaving work early with the familiar burning between her thighs and thoughts of her Omega on her mind that signalled the start of her favourite few days of the month. Well, at least once the burning and ache of her growing knot stopped, that part sucked.

Sighing and making a fuss of her aching guts, she curled herself smaller on the sound of the opening door.

"Maggie?!"

"In here babe."

"What the hell!" Alex complained exasperated, throwing her bag down. "I've called you fifty times!"

Maggie held up her hands, confused as to what it was she'd done this time. Then it dawned on her, closing her eyes and aching into realisation, she bit her mouth. "I'm so sorry—"

"You promised you would come and try to talk to Kara."

"I know—"

"You promised."

"If I could just explain—"

"Stop talking." Alex frowned, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry—"

"Sh."

"Okay." Maggie swung her legs off the armrest and sat up straight. "Okay." she softened with apologetic eyes.

Maggie sat there quietly and watched Alex, particularly the way she moved around the apartment with wound haunches like she was tight around a secret. She stomped to the fridge and pulled out a beer, eyeing it for a moment, before putting it back inside and slamming the door again — grabbing an empty cup from the cupboard and running the faucet instead. Alex was already starting her heat, Maggie could taste it in the air like hot metal.

"Alex…"

"Sh."

"Alex!" Maggie chewed and earned the rare submissive curl of her mate's chin. "I don't mean to snap…" she got up off the sofa and sighed, footing towards her brooding little thundercloud. "Why do I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me?"

"It's nothing…"

"No." Maggie shook her head, tucking her nose into the dip of Alex's chest. "Tell me the truth." she murmured against the warmth of her skin.

"You don't need to worry."

"I know but it's turning into a hobby of mine so just spill the the beans."

"Lena Luthor showed up today."

"What?" she pulled away and furrowed her brow. "At the DEO?"

Alex nodded, "I accidentally told her Kara was Supergirl—"

"You did what?!"

"It was an accident!" Alex whined and cringed. "She said she knew Kara's secret and it turns out we were apparently the only people in National City who didn't realise my sister..." she hesitated on the words, blinking and swallowing. "It was a miscommunication."

"Okay, this is totally manageable." Maggie went into damage-control mode, reassuring hands rubbing along the length of her Omega's long arms. "I'm going to pay her a visit as soon as I'm out of my rut and let her know what happens if she messes with Puppy Danvers, okay? I'll take care of everything baby, don't worry, I've got you."

Alex broke into that rare smile, it came in the frantic moments when Maggie was so quietly the Alpha, always so eager to take care of things and make her happy. She couldn't remember why she was mad anymore, well, maybe that was a slight exaggeration.

"The only person you need to see after your rut is Kara." she promised with a tiny look of annoyance, though it quickly gave way to a guilty little look. "I think we both do."

"Still didn't see her today?"

"I… I just don't know how." Alex felt guilty for admitting it, "I watched her all day, God knows I thought about her all day, but I just couldn't bring myself to go downstairs and see her like that."

Maggie nodded and there was no judgement, Alex always loved that the most about her, the way she just tried to understand the greys of the world and if she couldn't, she pretended like she did.

"What about when she isn't in her rut?" Maggie asked quietly, "Will you be able to be around her then?"

"What are you talking about?" Alex almost laughed.

"I'm just saying all of this is a shock to your system… and she's going to be scared you don't see her the same way anymore and I'm so just asking, do you? are you afraid she won't be your little sister anymore?"

"We're not doing this right now."

"It's a shock to the system." Maggie stopped her pulling away and reiterated the words, slipping her arms around the small of her back. "You always thought she'd be an Omega, and you don't have to have all the answers right now, but when you're ready we can talk about it, okay? You're still her big sister, she needed you to protect her when she was Supergirl and she'll still need you to protect her now. Nothing will change."

"Sometimes you're perfect, do you know that?" Alex relaxed into her words.

"Only sometimes?"

"Occasionally."

"Once in awhile?"

"Most of the time you're a real pain in the butt." Alex wryly smirked, "Still love you though."

"Oh now you're definitely going soft on me, Danvers."

Alex found herself in the air, thrown over that sweet little Alpha's shoulder. She giggled and slapped at her back, wiggling and almost dragging the floor, but Maggie was strong and before she knew it she was thrown to the mattress.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me babe?" Maggie lifted her brow with a tiny smile.

"What?" Alex blinked.

"Is there any good news that you might… possibly… perhaps… want to share with your occasionally perfect Alpha?" Maggie flopped down and kissed the most bottom section of her belly.

Alex hesitated and felt iron cool in her lungs and the stench of bad memories pour down her windpipe. "What kind of news are you waiting for?" Alex cleared her throat.

"You're coming into your heat." Maggie peered up from where she pressed her mouth into the spot above her hip. "Unless I'm imagining the smell of vanilla and dark chocolate?"

"I don't smell like dark chocolate." Alex rolled her eyes in relief that for the second time today, she found herself talking about two very distinct and separate truths. Luckily, this time, she bit her tongue well.

"My guess is by tomorrow afternoon it will smell like a confectioner's in here and you'll be on your belly for me." she almost gloated in the knowledge, crawling up her Omega's body. "What do you think, Danvers?"

"I think your rut is coming in…" she slipped her hand between her Alpha's sweatpants and felt the start of a lump there and earned a small hiss. "Too soon?" she whispered and pulled her hand away.

"We'll check back in a few hours." Maggie chuckled and nodded, dragging her nose against her wife's. "Are you gonna be my good girl and do the thing I like?"

Closing her eyes, suddenly, the world and all of its problem could go to hell. The ferocity of her heat crept inside the hotness of her thighs and she melted in the words.

"Yes Ma'am." she whispered the words and watched her Alpha ache into them in satisfaction.

The game was now afoot.

 


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always, please review this story and let me know if you're enjoying it! It really does mean so much to me seeing what you guys think :)

Beneath the lead and concrete of the building, inside an electrified cell that was tucked away behind doors that separated her from the hallways with at least foot of solid iron. Kara alternated between a pacing beast of a woman, and a curled little ball on the floor.

She'd ripped her uniform off days ago, tearing the Zor-El mark off her chest and ripping the rest of the material with her hands until the floor was covered in strewn pieces of red and blue. She wasn't fit to wear the uniform anymore, not like this, and that thought permeated through the headiness of her rut until all she could do with it was accept the truth that she belonged in this cell. She had to be locked away, because if she wasn't? She would hurt someone, and that thought was unprocessable.

They sent armed alphas down once in awhile with food and water. It was enough to make Kara lift her head each time and pray Alex would follow behind them with those big brown eyes that _always_ knew what to do or at the very least what to say. Slowly, Kara would simmer into the realisation she wasn't coming, and sling her body over to face away from the agents who came in her stead.

But then something happened, something monumental, something transcendent, something important enough to break through the agony of her burning belly and give her the acutest sense of focus she'd ever experienced. Half a mile directly above her cell, Kara heard the soft flutter of a familiar heartbeat.

"Lena…" she whispered the name and strained her ears into the sound, lips curling into an exhausted smile. _Someone came for her._

Kara forced herself steady and made her senses obey her if only temporarily so she could hear the voices half a mile above her.

_“I don't know who the hell you think you are, Lena, but you are not one of us. I don't know why my sister trusted you with the truth or what it is about you that turns her into a teenage girl but if you tell anyone that she is Supergirl, if you ever try to use that against her—”_

_“Wait, what? Kara is Supergirl?”_ she heard Lena whisper, shocked.

_“Oh god.”_

_“Kara Danvers... is Supergirl?”_ Lena repeated it again.

No. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Every muscle became tight and contracted, ready to explode like an atomic bomb. Lena knew. She knew and the hesitation in her voice confirmed Kara’s worst fears… Lena thought she was a monster. Kara couldn’t listen to anymore, instead she ran at the cage, pulled and pushed on it hopelessly, the laser vision came next, screaming and determined to get out of this prison she focused it on the stress areas of the door, burning and melting nothing but the tiny bit of self left beneath her rut. 

This prison was made for her, perfect and absolute and unbreakable, though it wouldn’t stop her trying until the fire in her eyes smoldered to nothing and her fingernails were torn from their beds. Anything just to get to that beautiful contradiction of a woman and show her she wasn’t a monster — that she was just a stranded girl with a curse who loved her more than she’d ever loved anything in her entire life.

She can hear her heartbeat and footsteps grow fainter as they leave the building, that’s when she collapses on her knees and hangs her head. The shuddering in her chest is violent, it makes each rib move independently to accommodate the exertion of her lungs and all she can do is punch imprints of her fists into a kryptonite-laced cell that will not bend to her strength. She can’t think in sentences; can’t talk or synthesize information like she normally can, the rut leaves her more beast than woman with thoughts that are raw simple emotions. Sadness, loneliness, longing, and the distinct absence of hope — her entire language is now constructed around those concepts as she curls emptily around the sound of a heartbeat she can’t hear anymore.

Her body is sore, knuckles blistered from threshing out her anger against the walls of her cell and thighs full of blooming poppy fields where she’d scratched the skin into blotches of red. It was her new appendage that hurt the most. She caught a glimpse of it in a reflection of glass and beneath the intoxication of her first stretch of rut — she hated the way it looked. it made her feel odd. It made her feel dangerous.

Is that how Lena felt too? She couldn’t help but beat herself up with those questions, and the worst of it was that there were no rational answers. There was no part of her mind able to quietly sit down and take those questions to task. There was no Alex to put them right and make the swollen ache of rejection in her tummy go away. It was just raw feeling. Just pain and memory of the times she’d been rejected before.

“Kara,” a familiar voice came over the speakerphone in her cell. It was a distant cousin of Alex’s usual voice, the way she spoke was hesitant and nervous now. “It’s me Kara, relax, honey, it’s Alex…” she said the words slowly and all Kara could do was fight off the urge to implode, because even though Alex just outed her — she had to believe there was a reason why. She barely relaxed, just enough to sit on the bed and uncurl her knuckles — though the popped vein in her neck remained. “Kara I… I know you’re going to hate me but I accidentally did something terrible. I told Lena who you really were-”

Kara roared. Unkempt and bruised-knuckled girl, she sobbed and let the truth slip inside her lungs. Before all of this, her lungs were the safest place in her body. They were the place that seized in motion for every smart and ethical decision. Now they were the engine room of a natural disaster, now they were shuddering and swelling and shrinking and no longer lungs at all. And all Kara could do proficiently was sob and let them not be lungs.

“I’m so sorry.” Alex whispered guiltily over the speaker. “I know I messed up Kara… I know this is on me.  I was just trying my hardest to keep you safe because, well, everything I do is to keep you safe.”

“N-not, angry-” her voice was raspy due to inactivity, and every barely strung together word became a conquered mountain. “I… n-n-not, I’m not, angry, with y-you. I’m angry with m-me.” she finally spat the words off her tongue.

“You’ve done nothing wrong Kara.” Alex sighed softly. “In fact, she told me to tell you something...” Kara flew up to the where the camera and speaker sat behind an electrified cage, staring at it intently with a tilted head. “She told me to tell you she does care,” there was a pause and a little sigh, “and that you would know what that means.”

She cared. _Lena cared._

Somehow that made the distance worse, somehow that made the ache between her thighs unbearable, because Lena cared, and in some small way maybe that meant Lena liked her too. Maybe Lena thought the smell of her hair was nice, and her fingers looked achingly perfect like they were made to fit inside her hands, and her eyes were the first things Lena wanted to see in the morning, maybe Lena felt all of that too. Maybe.

“Kara I’m going to come and see you tomorrow. I promise I’m going to. I… don’t know anymore how things got this bad.” Alex whispered, her voice hanging in the air with the heaviness of that unkeepable promise, because the truth of the matter was that she couldn’t come and see her. She couldn’t, because Kara was dangerous and _absolutely_ _nothing_ like the baby sister she had less than a week ago, and that was okay. Kara understood. She didn’t want to be seen like this by her sister either.

“Go.” Kara ordered raspily, staring at the camera and nodding her head to the left because that’s where the service elevators were on the monitor she knew Alex was watching her from.

“I don’t want to leave you alone like this...”

Kara growled and didn’t mean too. “You already did.” she grunted and stared briefly into the camera, knuckles stinging, before inelegantly dropping back down to the cement floor. The static over the speaker finally died into nothing and the alpha breathed a sigh of relief, guilty but glad to get her sister home and away from this mess.

###

Lena kicked her heels off and pulled her feet beneath her on the sofa, it was too early for pyjamas and too late to go rooting through her closet for a comfier outfit and so instead she flopped on the embroidered sofa in the uncomfortably tight dress she’d worn all day. It was impractical, all of it, from the dress to the over-expensive itchy sofa that scratched her cheek every time she tried to find a comfortable position. Her heat was still weeks away, and yet it felt imminent, as if any second she was going to be a collapsed puddle on the floor and the steel beams inside of her spine would melt like they always did — she hated that. Hated the way her heat was an incurable weakness that rendered her, regimented and professional her, unable to work or do anything besides whimper and helplessly bury her fingers inside of her hotness until she was barely, but never quite, satiated.

It was the Department of Extranormal Operations that got her worked up like this. It felt visceral as soon as she walked through that unassuming lobby, heels clicking along the marble and fingers gently running over the coif of her hair so she looked her best — somehow she did all of that, pretending to be unaffected, whilst the impossible knowledge that Kara was there, hidden away like a dirty secret, made the entire axis of her spine want to collapse inward.

And then the news hit her. Kara, that sweet and gentle-worded girl with softness in her smile like sunbeams lived in her belly, was forged of might and steel and duty. It made sense in some tiny way, she and Supergirl, they were both so good; so pure and willing to do right no matter the cost. Of course the constant weakness in her belly too was part of a thinly-veiled clue, the soft want that itched the back of her throat whenever either of them, her, were around. It felt like lemmings were doing backflips from the edge of her heart into the depths of her belly and those feelings never equated into a sum total of any kind of sensible truth… until now.

She guessed Kara was an alpha; wasn’t too sure about Supergirl, but Kara? Absolutely. She came to the conclusion after dozens of quiet little appraisals; the way she moved, the way she caught her an endless number of times lingering at her desk with that gentle longing stare as if being anywhere else would make her soul sore, and then there was the way she just simply was — everyone seemed to peg Kara Danvers as a quiet mouse of a woman but Lena knew better, she saw better with her own two eyes, all those determined glares and sharp little elbows and softly worded challenges to the likes of _Cat Grant_ _herself_ was alpha in a way that made the tiny omega mark on the side of her throat ache.

Kara was perfect, and that was terrifying. Even more so after the last time they saw one another. She seemed so worked up and frustrated, unusually so, and guiltily, repulsively, Lena caught herself drawing in hidden gulps of how amazing it smelled. Usually Kara barely smelled of vanilla and ripe summer peaches, but when she was angry? Burning wood punched the air around them with musk and spice and a hint of wild peaches like an instinctive promise that it was still her, still perfectly and wonderfully Kara, and because of that Lena didn’t have to be afraid.

But then Kara’s eyes glanced and fixated to the side of her throat where that untouched little omega mark lived like a blind woman seeing colour for the first time and stupidly, regretfully, Lena didn’t have any other choice but to be frightened because nobody had ever looked at her as if she was quite that important. And even though she knew that little sunbeam would never hurt her, she felt herself take a step backwards and watched Kara crumple and gag on the punching smell of her fear.

“I’m so sorry,” Kara said that with watering eyes, “I didn’t mean-” it dried up in her throat as the tears pooled and her lips wobbled. She was gone, too quickly, as if she was never in the office at all and that was when the regret hit Lena and made her mark ache.

Absent-mindedly, Lena pulled herself from the memory and rolled on her side. “You can probably hear me.” she felt stupid for whispering in her empty apartment. “I’m pretty certain of it.” she said a little louder into the quietness of her living room with a sad smile and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I… wish I could have been better. You must feel so alone and I should never have let them take you… wherever it is they’ve took you!” she exasperated at that part, stuck in images of the terrible kind of conditions that poor girl could be trapped in. “Please don’t hate me, Kara, wherever you are. Be furious, be angry, be upset that I couldn’t protect you like I should have but please, for the love of-” Lena stopped herself, stuck in how stupid all of this was. She shook her head and exhaled with another sad little smile. “Just please don’t hate me.” she said to herself and moved to the sideboard where the decanter sat.

She poured gratuitously and rubbed her cheek. “I’ll call legal in the morning. Supergirl or not, you have rights and they’ll know what we need to do.” she flexed her fingers and blinked, thinking of ways to be useful. “I’ll call legal.”

“Thanks.” a soft raspy voice replied from behind her.

There she was, bruised and bloodied girl, naked and muscular and sticky with a thin veneer of sweat as she bent over and shuddered for breath beside the sofa. Her dark blonde curls were messy now, fly-away bits of hair escaping from her locks and little angry cuts covering her from head-to-toe — she was weakened and barely standing and Lena didn’t know if she could stomach answers as to why that was.

Nervous as she was, it took everything not to rush the alpha’s space and wrap her in her arms and hold her until Kara knew, undoubtedly, that she was human and worthy and deserved to be touched and cared for. 

Kara glanced up, crystal blue eyes now black as hot coal, her penis unsheathed and erect against her stomach. It was big and bounced just beneath her belly button and sent Lena blushing as she stumbled backwards into her side table.

“Don’t move!” she squeaked at the alpha as she moved to take a step closer, and then she watched Kara once again flinch at the smell of her fear, her nose quivering into it and her eyes watering. “Just… stay still for me.” Lena said softly and, then, found herself perplexed.  “Kara, what are you doing?” she watched the alpha go against her very instincts and slip to her knees, making herself tiny and kneeling on the hard cold marble in front of Lena like an omega would do.

“Won’t hurt you.” Kara grunted quietly, wincing at the way her body stung.

“What did they do to you?” Lena ached quietly, stepping tentatively towards the shuddering wild thing on its knees in her living room. She was conscious of the fact Kara was a god, completely aware that at any moment she could take what she wanted and do as she pleased, which made it all the more strange and wonderful and sad to have this magnificent cosmic girl kneeling in front of her with angry pink scrapes all over her skin.

“Nothing.” Kara answered honestly and she sagged forward bonelessly into the flesh of Lena’s thigh the second she felt those soft fingers graze over her forehead. “I had to get to you… I… could never hate you.” the voice was strained and warm against her thigh and Lena let her stay there.

“You broke out of prison to tell me you don’t hate me?” she blinked, dumbfounded.

“Yes.” Kara’s voice was quiet and she kept her nose buried into the space just above her knee. “I was scared…” she admitted quietly. “I was alone and everything… hurt.”

“Okay, it’s alright.” Lena promised, tears in her eyes. “You’re here now and if they want to come and get you, they’re gonna have to go through me. Okay?” she slipped her fingers beneath her wounded little god’s chin and stared into her black eyes until she was certain there was a tiny drop of cornflower blue.

“Okay.” Kara sighed and let herself be weak.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” Lena already started marching towards the bathroom, infuriated and seething at the sight of her bruised sunbeam. She was halted suddenly by the weight of an entire building clamped around her wrist.

“Sorry!” Kara flinched and let go nervously, blushing and wobbling on to her feet. “Just wanted to hold your hand.” she frowned.

Lena shook her head and smiled, because this was the textbook definition of getting in too-deep, but nonetheless she slipped her fingers inside of her mighty Supergirl’s and squeezed them tight, leading her down the hallway towards the bathroom and absolutely stuck in the knowledge that this felt impossibly right.

 


	4. Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie next chapter guys!

There’s a god in her bath, bubble beard and all, sniffing her soap bottles and sinking beneath the bubbles and all Lena can do is sit there and blink. It hurts how gentle and sweet she is, even like this, and between the three Karas that she knows — the reporter, the hero, and the alpha. It’s the alpha who is the rawest, scribbliest, most wonderful bits of her.

“Ouch!” she barks as Lena’s hand slips the warm cloth over her bruised arms.

“You can take it.” Lena rolled her eyes and smirked slightly, unfazed in the slightest by the thunder of her godlet’s voice. “I’ll be more gentle,” she leaned in and relented.

Kara kept herself measured and careful around the omega, god knows how she did it. Lena watched her, the way her nose twitched, the way her mouth hung just slightly agape, the way she ached and died and burned with the need to touch her with some kind of intimacy reserved for lovers and yet, still. Kara denied herself and made do with fingertips smoothing the back of Lena’s hand. Lena would smile, and Kara would settle, and the godlet stretched these tiny things and made them enough.

“I don’t wanna go back to jail.” Kara pouted and huffed, as if it was the only tangible option. She was a lion that escaped the zoo just to come and see its favourite birthday girl, and adorable as that was, as impossible as it seemed, she was just in luck because Lena was determined to hide her here.

“You’re not going back there.” Lena murmured reassuringly and dabbed away at the deep scratch on the side of her face. “I won’t let you.”

“Let me?” the alpha within her blinked in confusion at that word and Lena watched her tense in aggression.

“Relax.” she soothed and made instinctively herself small, “It wasn’t meant as a challenge.”

Kara paused and then nodded, “Sorry.” she whispered.

“You can’t help it and you don’t have to be ashamed.” Lena breezed and set back to work, scrubbing her clean.

The strangeness of it all didn’t go amiss upon her, she was adept when it came to alien technology and her brother’s research into Kryptonian metaphysiology and this just shouldn’t be possible. There should not be a Zor-El sat in her bathtub with scratches and little wounds all over her body, and whatever it was that caused them, if they wanted to hurt her sunbeam again, they’d have to deal with her first.

“Kara?”

“Mmm?”

“How did you get out?” Lena paused, wringing the cloth and dabbing it over the next dirty little cut.

Outside the bathroom there was silence, or at least there was to Lena’s ear. She couldn’t help but wonder what kind of cacophony existed for Kara, she imagined things, far away conversations and coffee orders and police sirens and all the different kinds of noise that must constantly rattle around in Kara’s head. Normally, Kara pretended, excellently, that there was only ever quiet in her ears too. But the alpha wouldn’t let her now — the rut was too visceral and it left her jittering like a puppy, constantly twitching her ears and flitting her eyes towards sounds that were too dull for the Luthor’s ear.

“Kara,” Luthor said it again, resting her hand delicately in her palm. The water shifted and hands capable of splitting atoms held her fingers gently, reverently, careful not to hurt the little human. Kara looked at her and smiled, visibly droning out any and everything that wasn’t Lena. “How did you get out?” she asked again.

“Difficultly?” Kara shrugged and somehow managed to make coal black eyes look half-innocent with those wispy dark strands of blonde hair making a break for it off her face.  “I got angry when I heard you get upset and then it was easy to bend the doors.”

“What was the difficult part?” Lena blinked.

“They shot me with special bullets.” Kara pointed at her chin where the one of the many grazes lived. “I had to catch them all so they didn’t ricochet and hit someone but they burned my hands.” she lifted her sore palms to demonstrate the bruised blotches where Kryptonite had blistered the skin.

“You did all of that… in your rut?” Lena blinked, swallowing that information.

She nodded sheepishly, “I don’t remember much. I was angry…” there was a sigh and a small shameful sulk, “But I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

It’s so sudden the way her heart feels as if it’s been cleaved in half, as if her sensibilities are a snapped string of pearls. The pumping of her blood feels like writhing ghosts of dreams she once had about the kind of gentle alpha she never thought could exist, and all of it swims in her veins, all of it makes her ache and mourn for the years she spent blind and unaware that Kara Danvers existed this whole time. Then, just as suddenly, she was guilty, because Kara Danvers did exist, long before this drawn bath at least, and she should have taken the time and noticed these things before they piled and buried her.

“You’re sad.” Kara sensed and grumbled and didn’t know what to do with that tiny failure on her part, all furrowed brow and tense jawed.

The water shifted and all Lena could do was mumble strange little noises that were not displeased but just confused as to why the superhero in her ward was spoiling her silk blouse with watery suds and a firm hug. It was too tight. Inelegant. It made her ribs struggle for room but Lena willingly surrendered and allowed the alpha to hold her as messy and scribbly and inelegantly as she felt necessary.

“There,” Kara whispered and pulled away.

“Was that supposed to make me feel better?” Lena chuckled and glanced down at her sodden outfit. There were pyjamas somewhere in her closet, and this definitely expedited the process of changing into them.

“Supposed to make you feel cared for, I think.” Kara fiddled with her hands. “Because I care about you, very much.” she said it under her breath.

The doorbell rang and like a hunting wolf, her eyes were quickly fixed and trained on the prey. Lena watched her for a moment, the way her spine grew stiff and her fingers gently pulled away into the centre of her chest and her lips pulled up into her teeth.

“They’re here…” Kara growled and twitched her nose at the intrusion.

“Stop.” Lena purposely leaned into her space, getting as close to her ear as the alpha would let her. It was tactless and improper; but the slim chance that her omega scent would be enough to bring down the rutting godlet in her bathroom was worth the indiscretion if it meant not having to explain to the neighbours why Supergirl burned the place to ash and bone.

Kara slipped her a small look, and Lena was certain she’d never seen one person look so mad, so… frightened, at the prospect of going back to the little hole they had kept her in.

“Will you stay here? With me?” Lena asked her softly, fingers dipping beneath her chin. She was gentle, purposefully so, and maybe some of that did have something to do with the fact the woman in her ward could topple mountains with a sneeze but for the most part, it was tenderness for the mere purpose of being tender.

“Yes.” the reply came quietly from Kara’s mouth.

“Then let me take care of this. Just. Stay here.” Lena clambered off her knees and hurried out of the bathroom, pausing, glancing in the mirror at her ruined blouse, throwing one lasting look over her shoulder. “Stay right there. No Supering around.” she pointed and tried to sound a little stern.

“No Supering around.” Kara agreed with a small nod, and slipped against the back of the bathtub.

There’s no time to get changed, in fact, there’s barely any time to get across all the Venetian marble that separates the bathroom and entrance before someone takes the doors off the hinges with the constant banging. She swings it open before the third series of bangs can ring in her ears, and of course, because god has an awful sense of humour, it’s Alex Danvers there to greet her.

“Where is she Lena?” she tries to barge through but Lena stands her ground, quickly shoving her back with the sheer presence of her body. Alex glares. Lena holds her posture in the door frame. Alex glares. Lena stands taller. And this continues for what feels like hours, but in reality, is tiny seconds.

“Are you here as a representative of the Department of Extranormal Operations?” Lena lifts a shaped brow.

“We don’t have time for this.” Alex seethes. The yelling comes, the throwing of her hands in the air, the promises of how much Lena would live to regret it. “I’m coming inside and if I find her in there so help me!!”

“Are you here as a representative of a federal agency, Alex?” Lena says it again, sterner this time, more sure of the words and not playing games in the slightest. She felt guilty for enjoying it, in fact, no, she didn’t feel guilty at all. The older Danvers had earned this reckoning well and if there’s one place where Lena knew how to checkmate her — it was the law.

“Lena…” her mouth grew tight and the men in black around her stayed quiet and left them both to hash these things out between them.

“Are you here as a representative-”

“I am.” Alex finally conceded over the edge of her teeth.

“And do you have a warrant to search my property?” Lena asked it so casually with the rise of her chin, and she was certain it would be the first place Alex would punch her, if she could.

“No.”

“Then you can leave, there’s nothing in my home that belongs to the DEO.”

“Lena!” she slammed a fist against the wall, “This isn’t a game!”

At that Lena almost hissed and felt the manicure dig against her clenching palms cut crescent-shaped moons beneath her own frustrations, “You don’t get to lock her up like she’s an animal!” Kara was sat in her bath, no doubt listening to this. Lena made herself remember that. Reminded herself, again and again, that she was in there listening to every heartbeat and blink of her eyes. “You don’t get to do that and then turn up at my door and start throwing your weight around. Not today.”

“What are you going to do if she hurts someone?” Alex said quietly and bit her mouth, weighing Lena up, waiting for an answer. “What are you going to do if she accidentally hurts you? This is her first rut and she is not capable-”

“You need to stop.” Lena warned her and raised a single polished finger, “because, per say, hypothetically,” she kept her voice low, pointlessly, and stepped closer. “If I did have a Kara Danvers in this apartment? You would be _breaking her heart_ with every word you’re saying right now.”

At that Alex blinked, and Lena watched the cards fall into place behind her eyes. Alex knew the score now.

“If you did, per say, hypothetically, have my sister in that apartment. I would hope you could pass on a message for me and let her know that I worry because I love her.” Alex blinked away tears and took a step backwards, suddenly unsure on what to do with herself. “She has until Monday to show up and then I’m coming back here with a warrant.”

“If I see her, I’ll pass that message on.”

“Do.”

By the time the door closes, by the time she’s finished dressing down black ops, setting the government right, staring down a trained operative with nothing but this morning’s application of mascara and pre-semester of federal law; that’s when it hits her like a deep twangy bass. That first deep twinge in her belly, warning of what was soon to come.

She stays there, pulling in a deep breath and counting to three in her head. By the time she reaches that magic number the twinging is gone, for now, and the urgency to be against Kara’s bones dulls into a quiet neediness that she can settle in the back of her mind.

“Thank you,” Kara is suddenly there, dragging her knuckles gently down the small of her spine. “I would never hurt-” her voice is so tiny and gentle, and Lena can’t even bring herself to open her eyes and be annoyed about the long constant drips of water hitting that stupid, overly expensive marble floor.

“They kept you in a cage and you’re here. Rubbing my back… during your first rut.” she shook her head, smiling at the absurdity of it, a little angry at the absurdity of it, because where the hell did she get off being that level of perfect and controlled?

“I can stop?” she tentatively drew her fingers away.

“Please, don’t.” Lena searched over her shoulder and stayed there, desperate, peering right over the knob of her joint into the heady darkness of her godlet’s eyes. Kara just stood there, dragging knuckles over that spot on her back again, innocent and somehow above the agony of her rut — and no one should be allowed to be that in control of themselves, that self-aware and ethical. Lena decides that when the twinge creeps inside the deepest parts of her belly again and curls her.

She gasps, eyes clenched and teeth grinding into that familiar pain. Kara made it worse, deliciously and impossibly and irrefutably worse, and as if she wanted to make up for such undeniable facts — her arms were there to slip around and hold the Luthor.

“I… I don’t understand. Are you hurt?”

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s alright.” Lena gently croons away, grateful that the iron grip of the tender trembling god pressed against her back loosens quickly. Kara wipes her hands on her hips, unsure on what to do with them now. “It’s okay, I’m not hurt.” Lena forced herself right and turned to face her, fixing a small bright smile at the nervous alpha — brooding and terrified she hurt her little human. “No worrying over me. Not whilst I’m worrying over you.” Lena makes the soft demand.

“That doesn’t seem fair.” Kara acquiesced with a slump of her shoulders.

“Fair is neither here nor there, I go by who called it first. I think that’s far more objective.” Lena wondered how long she could exist without breathing. It would make the task a hell of a lot easier if she didn’t have to choke on the smell of a very naked, very perfect, helplessly aroused alpha. Instead she draws shallow breaths often, pulling the alpha towards her bedroom to begin the hunt for clothes. It works, barely.

“Why are you not breathing right?” she can almost hear the furrow of that milky brow. “You’re barely respira-”

“Leave my lungs out of this.” she warned too defensively, blushing and, now, unable to look at the alpha following inside the door of her master suite.

She can’t find any boxers for Kara, she digs through her closets, and then her drawers, and all of it is pointless because why would there be boxers? The one item of clothing she has absolutely no need for. Lena feels her eyes the whole time, watching her from her perch on the edge of the bed and moving around the room with her. It’s a strangely perfect feeling, and guiltily, Lena wants more, enough so that she over-arches on the bend for the bottom drawer so her rear is pert and almost airborne. She swears she hears a tiny whine.

“Panties it is.” Lena concedes and pulls a pair of her own out of the drawer, placing it on top of the small pile of t-shirt and sweats she’d wrangled together for the shamelessly naked alpha.

“No.” Kara tells her bluntly, pulling and examining the other items of the clothing from her arm by the time she closed the small distance to her sitting figure.

“I think you should wear-”

“No!” Kara snapped with a little gnash of her teeth. It made Lena flinch, but not necessarily in a bad way. It made her jump like a strike of thunder, or a crack of lightening, something of nature in a way that couldn’t be contained. It was arousing. “I’m… I’m sorry.” Kara shook her head profusely, apologising with that wound-up confused face. “I just… I…”

“You’re rutting.” Lena softened and bent until they were eye-level and she wasn’t an instinctive threat. “Look at me…” she whispered and settled a warm hand on her knee, calming her almost immediately.  “You don’t make me uncomfortable. Your body doesn’t make me uncomfortable. This is natural, and okay, and if you don’t want put something on or around your… you know.” she blinked and briefly glanced at the erection between her thighs. “That’s alright… we’re all adults here.”

“It just hurts.” Kara’s voice was quiet. “I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to do with it and if I don’t do it…” she couldn’t find the words, instead she just shrugged and searched Lena’s eyes as if she might know what she meant. Luckily, Lena did, and so she nodded and patted her knee again until Kara sank with relief. “I don’t know how to be… this.”

The ache in her stomach is back, it takes her with surprise and steals the air in her throat until she slips forward breathlessly. Her hands find purchase on Kara’s kneecaps to steady herself, and, wordlessly, the godlet shows exactly how proficient she is at this. Kara’s hands feel ancient and young, like the way nestlings migrate and turtles eventually go home to the same spot of sea, her hands are children but they were made for Lena’s hips and so she learns to hold them gently, always remembering that her little human is a catastrophe of bruises waiting to happen.

“I think it’s my turn.” Kara worries, and she shouldn’t have the capacity to, but Lena makes her human and dulls that fire. “Is this your heat…”

“Yep.” 

Lena blushes and can’t look straight, because she’s terrified if she does, that cosmic girl will see inside her soul and know the dirty, shameful things she wants from her in this moment. Kara’s knees are warm and sturdy. Of course they are, and Lena forgets and remembers simultaneously that she’s… more than. It’s when she finally looks up that she’s glad of the fact, because Kara is all smouldering eyes and hung mouth and the heavy smell of burning wood and ripe peaches, and with a groan she is weakened again and leaning on locked elbows.

Kara growls, instinctively, and the minute that low grumbling sound and smokey burst of her pheromones punches the air, Lena submits. Her hands inelegantly push Kara’s poppy-stained bruised thighs apart and she kneels between them, hanging off of their edges, stuck on her knees on cool marble that welcomes her so easily.

“No!” she squeaks, flinching when the nose of the alpha above her drags into the space where a bite mark will one day live. Kara blinks and stills herself, she means no harm, and Lena relaxes into that truth. “Don’t bite me, say it back to me, please, so I know you understand?” her voice is breathless and jagged, eyes alive with heat and want.

“I won’t bite you.” Kara says it so earnestly and means every syllable. Lena nods, ashamed, weakened and wanting, but Kara cups her cheeks and brings her into the line of her gaze. “I won’t bite you.” she says it again, a tender promise and her nose is warm against Lena’s.

“We shouldn’t do this-”

“We should.” Kara inhales and searches those green eyes, “You are on my tongue every moment of my day and I’ve never… _wanted_ like this.” she tries to make her understand, but there’s only so many words she can command in this state and there aren’t enough to describe the sweet clean smell that clings to her skin or the way she takes great pleasure in knowing she’s the only one who has ever seen a breath catch inside her lungs, fragile and elegant as it was to watch. “I’ve never wanted the way I want you, Lena.”

Lena nods, kneeling and stuck in the position; because being beneath her gentle godlet, between her thighs and hanging off her bruised starborne knees, is the only thing that makes the franticness of her heat simmer into something she can order and reason with, but then a hand comes around the back of her neck, thumb resting behind her ear, holding her steady, and every good, ethical decision is flung into space.

“I want you,” Lena mouths the words with tears in her eyes, shaking. “To be taken by you.” the fire in her stomach and the ache in her breasts and the need to be touched between her folds is unbearable and somehow, tragically, awfully, her superhero has been stuck in this state for days and no-matter how hard she tries, she can’t wrap her head around that. There was a prison. A fucking cage. A cell that they threw Kara inside of, and she stood above it whilst her godlet suffered beneath her very feet.

“You’re crying?”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Lena sinks and hangs her head, kneeling before the alpha for no other reason beyond the carnal and desired. Or so she tells herself, because the truth of it is more complicated than that. Too complicated to make sense of it here and now, and so Lena wipes a watering red-rimmed eye on the corner of her sleeve and lies through her teeth. 

“It’s my heat… I can’t help it.” she explains away, and it’s a half-truth because the aching of her hips and the fire of her belly, and the quivering of empty unsatiated muscle between her thighs is enough to make her a pathetic kneeling mess, and that was worth tears too.

“Can I help?” she says it so earnestly, “I want to help…”

Her shaft is thick and comes to rest barely-beneath her belly button, and for the first time Lena pulls back just slightly to appraise the alien on the edge of her bed. She’s a compilation of different bits of tensing muscle, shoulders, and thighs, and forearms and one tendon in her throat for good measure. It makes Lena’s mouth curl into a smile at how human it is.

“You’re beautiful.” she whispers.

Kara doesn’t know what to do with that information, and all she can muster is a long and low approving growl. She shifts forward, hunching over her, and Lena watches her watching. She feels it, like a snow-white calla lily opening into bloom in front of the sun. A beautiful, mortal, fragile gift for a sun-soaked god who tastes the infinite on her tongue. Kara takes her with both blistered hands, cupping her pink cheeks, drawing her to her mouth and for a tiny moment, Lena knows that infinity tastes like honey and brown sugar.

She whispers commands. Tells her to be slow, murmuring it into the mouth of a deity who hangs over her kneeling figure with mortal bones that are not mortal at all. Kara’s kisses taste like memories, thick memories of places she’s never been and things she’s yet to do — and that’s when she knows this isn’t like heats that have came before, when she sees a flickering home video of a half-drowsy godlet collapsed on the sofa with a tiny newborn godling wrapped in blankets in the nook of her elbow.

“What are you thinking about?” the question is instinctive, whispered against her neck between kisses that echo the infinite.

“You.” Lena tells her helplessly and presses forward, kissing over the poppy shaped bruises on her inner thighs. It makes Kara snap, makes her lungs shake and her hands wrap into her shoulders — she stops herself, hesitates and loosens her grip. “Thanks,” Lena can’t help but chuckle between her kisses. “Try not to crush me.”

“No promises.” she hangs her head back.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Kara nods eagerly at that, barely keeping herself in check. “Don’t bite me,” Lena reminds her softly, “or knot me.” she forces herself to add that part against her own will and desires.

“Knot?”

“You’ll know.” Lena murmured and slipped into the nook of her inner thighs and finally slipped her hands around the most tender part of her. Kara moans, a hand grabs the bottom bedpost for leverage and crushes it into dust, and she offers Lena an apologetic little look but she’s too drunk on the smell of the champagne between her folds to linger on apologies for too long.

“We’ll fix it in the morning.” Lena promises with a tiny laugh, and Kara nods, slipping her hands behind her neck and pulling her bun out as gently as she knows how until loose raven waves fall either side of her face. Lena licks her with the flat of her tongue, coming undone at the head of her penis, and that’s when she loses control.

“It’s okay, it’s alright.” Lena rubs her thighs and talks down the thundering growls of the deity above her. Kara keeps her eyes clenched, chewing her teeth, grumbling thunder in her lungs. “What can I do?”

“Stop teasing me...” Kara demands because it’s the only way she knows how to speak now, and her eyes they’re different. She’s not innocent anymore. She’s smouldering fire and hot iron and oceans of need and desire, capable of taking like a true alpha. She pushes her hips forward into Lena’s lips, and the omega accepts her, hands wrapped around the bottom of her shaft and red lipstick smudging along her most-sensitive skin. “Mine.” Kara seethes on the word, eyes alight and teeth on show.

Lena bows over her knees, forearms resting on her thighs whilst her throat was made sore. It was exhilarating, a natural disaster, a hadron-collider of two bodies trying to make a black hole with the carnal. It made the aching, whining heat inside of her belly quiet… because in this moment, for now, she willingly gave herself to a god.

“Yours.” Lena murmurs the words with a clenching windpipe, gasping for air and then kissing and sucking and pleasing the alpha again. Like they were as fragile as spider webs, Kara ripped the blouse and bra right off of her with the lightest movements of her hands, exploring the newly discovered skin with reverence and occasional moans, because at the bottom of her belly is a sprawling pile of loose raven hair bobbing up and down and lily-white shoulders that were made to be seen from above.

“Get on the bed!” Kara growls, and Lena does as she’s told.

 


	5. Chapter V

She moves through the apartment like a hurricane, seething and muttering and too consumed with her missing sister and the blistering agony of her own heat to be enough Alex Danvers to know what to do. Luckily, Maggie is there, following her around with hushed whispers and strong arms that are capable of holding her together. And God… does she need holding together right now.

It wasn’t the act of Kara escaping that made her feel sick. Somewhere, deep down and strange as it was, she knew Kara would _never_ hurt anyone. But the knowledge that they fired bullets at her? That men she worked with every day for seven years raised their guns and shot at her sister with the intention of putting her down like an animal if it came to that? It rendered her lungs useless in their one task, because she put her little sister in danger, and it was Lena Luthor she ran to in search of safety.

“It’s my fault.” her voice is a threshed out sob in the nook of Maggie’s neck. “I could have… I _should_ have.” she punishes herself even more with gritted teeth. “I should have took better care of her!”

“Look at me.” Maggie’s voice soothes and tan fingers move down the small of her spine. “Look at me little one.” she says it so certainly, making her voice a low husky rasp that her omega could pour her problems into and trust her to fix all of them. “That’s it, good girl.” sobs were hushed expertly, “You messed up, and that’s okay, you’re human and you’re allowed to mess up sometimes. It’s _nothing_ that we cannot fix tomorrow…”

“Do you promise?”

“On my life.” Maggie lifted her chin and cocked that annoying surely smile. “But you,” she took a step closer and slipped both hands around the small of her omega’s spine, “are going to need to be much better with Lena Luthor.”

“Don’t-”

“Ah ah,” Maggie raised a brow. “I wasn’t finished.”

“Sorry.” she mumbled.

“She isn’t trying to put distance between you and Kara, but if you keep fighting with her? You’ll do that all by yourself.” Maggie gently moved pieces of fringe out of Alex’s eyes and softened her expression. “It’s nothing that we can’t fix in the morning.” she reminded huskily and pressed a small kiss to her jaw.

“Did you-” there’s a canopy over the bed made of fresh linen and fairy lights. It offsets Alex’s mood, renders her completely inert as she surveys the scene and takes note of the bottle of wine and fresh strawberries on the bedside table. “You made a pillow fort?”

“Well,” Maggie hummed and pushed her hips forward slowly, her erection bumping against her thigh. “I might be in my rut but I’m not stupid…”

“Oh is that right?” Alex cocked a brow and grinned.

“Remember when we first started dating?” Maggie turned on the vinyl player Alex managed to get her for her birthday — it was a particularly special one with smooth mahogany wood and shiny little black dials that were embossed in gold; exactly like the one her grandpa had when she was a little girl. It was so typically and impossibly and frustratingly a perfect Alex Danvers gift.

“Stevie Nicks.” Alex closed her eyes and grinned as the song played.

“Stevie, right?” Maggie chuckled and kissed the nook of her neck. “Maybe we’ve been focusing too much on making a baby. I don’t want to put that pressure on you again, not after last time-”

“Stop talking.” Alex sighed and smiled, pressing a gentle kiss against her mouth. “Just… take me to bed and make me forget about everything, please?” her brows furrowed and Maggie lingered over her pulse point where the soft smell of her heat lingered.

This is exactly what she needs, just a little time to forget; a few precious moments to be nothing more than blood and bone and the worst of her heat. To exist solely and only for Maggie. It’s that thought that rises above the rest with each warm kiss from her alpha’s mouth over the most sensitive part of her collarbones.

“How much of everything is everything?” Maggie murmured, pulling fingers up to her lips to kiss them too. “Are we talking Lena Luthor or Drew in fourth grade who cut the hair off your Malibu barbie?”

Alex chuckled and wished that she didn’t, desperate to seem at least a little annoyed at the mention of that woman’s name yet again. She couldn’t though, and so instead she let that soft small alpha kiss her fingers and peer at her with warm chocolate eyes that melted her until she felt like a dripping pile of bones. “All of them,” she slipped a hand forward between Maggie’s thighs, earning a low growl from the highest part of her chest. “I mean, unless you’re not up for the challenge…”

At that Maggie growls again, lower this time, and the air is suddenly pungent with her pheromones. It knocks Alex off balance, makes her whole skeletal system feel like a concept rather than a fact, and when strong tiny arms catch her and carry her to the bed — she puts up no protest, closing her eyes and allowing the drudges of the day to slip away into a faint nothingness against the roar of her own heat.

Maggie is gentle. Always, always, so gentle, and her hands move like the only thing they were ever made for were cradling the different wonderful parts of her wife’s body. It took discipline to be like that, to not rip at clothes and bruise her hips, but she learned and she was glad that she did — because the way she earns little purrs is one of the few things she has a natural knack for.

By the time she’s tugged off pants and slipped the shirt over her head, warm skin pressed together, Alex is already deflating from the day. Maggie kisses her shoulders first, settled between her thighs and reverent in her movements — it took a learned expertise to be languid when every desire was to fuck and conquer, but Alex deserved languid, and so that she was.

“You can go faster.” Alex whispered with a little smile and unleashed a tiny moan as the scrappy material of her bra was pulled away. Maggie just grinned.

“Are you sure?” Maggie sucked gently on a stiffening nipple. “I can hurry up if you want…”

“No!” Alex said too quickly, grabbing her shoulders and keeping her _just_ there. “Please, just. Touch me?”

“Thought so.” she bowed her head and continued the slow onslaught.

The lump between her thighs grows, swelling and stiffening until the emptiness of the air taunts her, still, Maggie is languid — kissing and sucking nipples, fingers wound into her wife’s hips, nose brushing the crevice of her breasts.

“I love you.” Alex almost complained, moaning. “Please, I need to feel you.”

“Yeah?” Maggie gasped and closed her eyes as a soft lily-white thigh brushed her cock. “Babe… I don’t know if I can hold on when you do that...”

“It’s okay.” Alex cupped her cheeks and swallowed, barely holding back her own heat. She twisted their positions, only because Maggie managed to cling on to enough of herself to allow it. The tension in her body was palpable though, slight toned muscles working against one another beneath the surface of her caramel skin as the omega in her grasps toppled her like a mountain giving way to the wind. “I like you on your back.” the wind whispered in her ear, grinning and warm in her heat.

She brushed her vulva over the stiffness of Maggie’s cock beneath her boxers, purposeful, groaning, eyes closed and hands pinned over her alpha’s shoulders — barely keeping her on the bed.

“Do you know what you’re doing to me?” she growled and huffed a little breath, chuckling after a moment with alight eyes. “Such a naughty one, Danvers.”

“Mmhm,” she purred. Alex slipped her hand down the galley of her body, right inside the waistband of her boxers until her fingers, barely, wrapped around the thickness of her rutting cock — pulling it free in one motion and rubbing the head between her folds in another.

Maggie pounces, animalistic and beautiful as she is with eyes that could conquer mountains. She lost some of her softness, lost some of the procured gentleness in her hands, but, the sentiment remained. She kissed Alex’s neck and set her teeth into her mark as gently as she could, incisors hovering over the tiny divots of the bite she gave years ago now, lining her head up against her opening.

She tastes different, and Maggie can’t explain that, it makes her eyebrows knit together in surprise as she sheaths inside of her omega and earns the low whimpering sob that always managed to knock the wind out of her lungs. Teeth settled over Alex’s bite, she runs her tongue, wondering where she remembers that taste from.

“Don’t bottom out too hard!” Alex gasped and gripped her shoulders, writhing and rocking her hips but somehow more cautious than she ever was during their cycle.

Maggie blinked, forgetting and then remembering simultaneously. She stalled like a car engine uphill, blinking, licking her lips, looking Alex up and down curiously. There was only one time in their lives together Alex told her not to bottom too hard, only one time she ever tasted different like that, only one time her pheromones made the natural disposition Maggie’s rut so much gentler and soft.

Alex opened her mouth and closed it again, tilting her head and searching her alpha’s eyes for the reason she was prone between her legs.

“You’re pregnant… aren’t you?” Maggie whispered in realisation.

 


	6. Chapter VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theevangelion.tumblr.com

“Kara I’m gonna cum.” her voice is a desperate whimpering gasp and all Kara wants is to take a bite at her throat, but she doesn’t. Instead she kisses her throat and fucks her with the kind of pace that belonged to the cosmic. “Kara-”

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you baby,” she closes her eyes and buries her cock inside of her, pumping with her hips and body rather than her shaft.

“Kara,” Lena barely hung on.

"I know," Kara nuzzled in and gasped. "Remember to pull out?"

Stuck in her heat and grinding into the length given to her, Lena clung on for dear life and took as much as she could, moaning and whimpering because it was somehow too much and not enough. "Knot me?" she whined and pressed forward.

Hips grinding, teeth gnashing, there's still a tiny bit of the superhero stuck in her lungs but it’s too late for clarification, too late to make sure she knows what she's asking, because Lena’s pulse tastes like delicious bitter oranges against her teeth, like the ones she plucked as a child, and Lena's thighs are stretched to their limits over each forearm and her cunt is so soft and warm, dilating to accommodate for something Kara _has_ to give her and all of that in its amalgamation, along with the knowledge that her ripe womb is for the taking, drowns the godlet’s senses until she’s staring into two pale green eyes and fucking like it was the urge to breathe or blink.

"That's it!" Lena threw her head back and dug her nails into each shoulder, "Don't pull out!"

They cum at the same time and Kara folds into her, drowning in thoughts of Lena with a round belly and swollen breasts, instinctively pressing the swell of her knot inside of her channel whilst Lena bucked and came and shook and collapsed beneath the headiness of her orgasm.

Kara collapses over the cathedral of her omega’s chest, stuck between her spread thighs. It was a strange feeling in her cock, as if she was stuck in one long drawn out orgasm that radiated from the swelling in her new appendage, it left her tender and pleased in a way she couldn't recall being before. Lena tries to pull her hips back, but she’s tied, stuffed and swollen with a growing knot that is too big for her... it’s then Kara feels guilty, absolutely aware of how uncomfortable her swollen knot must be in her tight channel.

“What’s wrong?” Kara whispers and is suddenly aware that she can’t move, because shifting inside the swell of her vagina makes Lena’s whole body tense in pain. Immediately, Kara keeps herself still, concerned and searching her eyes. “Talk to me…”

“Kara,” her voice is a hoarse little whisper, “I’m not on the pill.”

Nervous and blinking in confusion, Kara felt the weight of an entire solar system crash on top of her shoulders. She knotted Lena, pumped her very essence right into her womb in the midsts of her heat and it didn’t take a seasoned expert to know what that meant.

“You’re not on the pill?” Kara stumbled.

“No…”

“Right, okay,” Kara blinked, “So, you’re not on the pill?”

“You just said that.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara clenched her eyes closed and burned with the guilt of it. “I know I’m supposed to be sorry for putting you in this position, but I’m not, I’m sorry because I feel… happy.”

“Happy?” Lena’s brow quirked in surprise. 

It was suddenly her turn to be the one stumbling and nervous, because beneath that beautiful godlet, she made herself swollen on the truth that this wasn’t meant to be — that this was just another misfortune for the last of the Luthors. Somehow, beneath that dewey blue eyed stare, Lena didn’t feel misfortunate at all. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Half of it was her heat, at least half. The satisfaction of being caught and bred beneath an alpha more than equipped to protect and satiate her made her burn, and though she wished she could rationalise and think like a Luthor, the familiar burning in her stomach that craved the measured roughness of Kara’s soft body was too much to bare.

“So happy,” Kara mumbled and closed her eyes into the thick scent of Lena’s arousal. “I just want you.” she dared to imagine what a life with Lena would look like, sticky-notes pinned to the fridge and fly-be visits to the office for the sake of tiny kisses she wouldn’t be able to get through the day without.

“I shouldn’t feel like this,” Lena stared up in absolute awe, mouth hung open and eyed half-lidded.

“Like what?”

“Like I can suddenly see in colour.”

Kara pushed her blonde hair back and Lena was stuck on the sight of her anterior muscles pushing out from her chest, how strong and powerful they were. The room was cool but the heat of the immortal above her was enough to keep her warm, like sunlight on her skin, and for all Lena cared they could be in a cold abandoned factory downtown or a gardening shed on the southside and she was certain this encounter would still feel so divine, so important.

Kara quickly leaned back down with hands either side of Lena, palming the mattress and dragging a nose through loose damp raven hair. “I want to fuck you again.” Kara groaned and buried her mouth into the crook of her neck.

“Don’t bite!” Lena said quickly, softly placing her palms around either cheek and guiding her back. “I want to, I need to go again,” she mouthed against her lips, “but you can’t bite me. Not yet.”

Kara’s ears piqued at the last part.

Kara tentatively gave a little pull on her hips, her knot still firmly gripped inside the clinch of Lena’s walls. It earned an aching whimper, the kind solicited from a tight cove of muscle that was stretched further than it had ever been stretched before.

“I’ll be gentle with you,” Kara eyed her and made herself string the words together like a woman free of the urge to fuck and conquer. She made herself say it again, humming it into the point of jaw and the roof of her shoulder, repeating it until she made the words stick inside of her own head.

Lena felt herself re-ignite and it was different this time, her heat raged on for days and suddenly she relaxed into the knowledge that her lover had more than enough stamina to keep up, more than enough energy to push her right to the very limits of herself — and if only for the fact that she _needed_ to know what it was like to be owned by a god, Lena felt herself drip along the ridges of the knot, loosening it and yet desperate for more.

Her slow moving hands guided one of Kara’s to her throat, pressing the fingers around each side of her windpipe until she was caught in a half-repulsed grip. The godling above her stared down in confusion, aroused and disgusted by her own desires to be rough and mark Lena.

“I don’t want gentle,” Lena begged and forced her hips down hard enough to hurt and stretch her needy opening, “I want you to be rough with me, I want you to fuck me like I’m yours-”

Kara growled and pulled her knot out with one almighty tug, her fingers tightening around Lena’s throat to dampen the howl earned from her devastatingly empty entrance. She watched her seed drip out of her, watched her cunt quiver and flex in search of the only thing that would keep her clawing her own skin off with need.

“Such a dirty girl for me,” Kara growled and stuffed her without warning on her fingers, and the closest thing she could compare this feeling to was Red Kryptonite — intoxicating and empowering. “This is **mine.** ” she flexed her fingers up into her g-spot and pulled back and forth, and the sound of the honey inside of her pussy made it nearly-impossible not to sheath her again here and now.

“Will you let me have it hard, please?” Lena panted and slipped her arms limply over the back of her neck.

Kara smiled, it was a soft reassuring one, the kind necessary to let Lena know that she was safe and the godling would never hurt her — would never lose control and take more than the beautiful creature beneath could give.

She pushed forward until her lips dragged along the sticky warmth of Lena’s cheek, slowly pushing until she reached her destination right beneath her ear. “I’m going to fuck you until your knees give out.” the promise came off the back of tugging fingers stuck inside her cunt, “I’m going to pick you up and take you over the edge of the bed until it I’m so deep inside of you, you can’t breathe for it. And then I’m going to lay you down and knot you until you’re swollen and aching, until your pussy is so sore you want to cry,” she traced a finger over the hood of a bucking clitoris, “and when it’s all done I’m going to make you pancakes and keep you in bed until you’re sick of me spooning you.”

“That did not end the way I thought it would.” Lena said in pleasant surprise and bit her bottom lip.

“Well, I’m a benevolent alien overlord.” Kara teased and caught her neck with a rough kiss. “Let me have you now, please?” she hummed into her windpipe and started to stroke her cock.

“Take it all, please, oh god please,” the breath was ripped from her lungs on the tentative bite of her nipples. Kara made easy work of them, stuck on her chest sucking them into her mouth like they existed purely to please her. Lena looked down the galley of her body, the warm hues of sunset turning Kara’s spine pink. It was beautiful.

Palming the sheets, each nipple was worked an inch to its life. Sore and stiff, they put up against the gentle attack whilst Kara stroked the erection between her own thighs gently.

Thighs pulled over her shoulders and kept taut in the air, Lena moaned in surprise at the strength, forgetting and remembering simultaneously. Kara snarled and growled but there was still a tenderness to her, and Lena felt the hot wet apex of her mouth drag and kiss her shoulders and neck as her hips relentlessly pushed forward.

“It’s so big,” she mumbled and closed her eyes.

“You can take it.” Kara growled and relentlessly pushed home inside of her clenching walls, it earned a sob in pleasure, needy wanton noise that now belonged to Kara. “You are such a good girl, so wet and needy for me,” she growled and Lena bucked into the words, aware that the beautiful creature above her was a fractal all by herself to stand alongside Kara Danvers and Supergirl. “Do you like it when I stretch you open like a dirty girl for me?” the low satisfied groan came.

“Y-yes,” she gasped and submitted.

Kara withdrew and sheathed again, harder this time, enough to make the backboard hit the wall. “Say thank you dirty girl,” she pulled Lena’s hips into her own.

“Th-thank you,” Lena nearly came undone and felt an orgasm build in her gut.

Kara rubbed her clitoris fast enough to make her ache and settled into how arousing this new found territory was. Outside, she was the hero, the do-gooder, the property of the people, but in this room she could be the most carnal parts of herself. The urge came quickly and Kara put up no fight, lifting her hand and gently spanking the omega’s swollen vulva until she was a sobbing needy pile palming the soft linen.

“That’s it, just let go.” Kara growled and fucked harder, trapping her lover’s wrists to the mattress. “Just give in and let it feel good.” she grinded into her and made every inch count until Lena was all the more breathless. She leaned down to kiss her, and that was when Lena started to gasp into mouth.

“Please, I need to cum, oh god please Kara, please let me cum,”  she mumbled incoherently, crying and needy.

She pressed her forehead into Lena’s and smirked, aroused to the point of orgasm at how much she was needed like this. Kara fantasised about L-Corp, what it would be like to land on the balcony in full-costume and fuck Lena over her desk before taking back to the air again.

“Tell me how badly you want it…” Kara growled in her ear, so deep inside of her it took her breath away.

“So bad,” Lena hiccuped and clung on for dear life, “I want you to take me and make me kneel for you, like I’m yours,”

“You are **mine,** pretty girl.”

“Kara I’m going to cum!”

She fucked her harder. Held her thighs back, fucking her again and again, fingers rubbing her clitorial hood until everything strangled her cock and made her slump forward — pumping spurt after spurt of her seed inside.

Lena sounded out her orgasm with loud sobs that blew the dust right off of her star-forged bones. It was enough to make the room quake, enough to make Kara growl and fuck her through it against the clench of her knot whilst Lena shook and snapped beneath her.

“That’s it, such a good girl for me,” Kara promised and arched forward with closed eyes.

It took minutes before words were possible again. Lena trembled and twitched, gasping with tear-streaked cheeks earned from how good the sex was with the gentle alpha she so desperately wanted to belong to. Still, there would no bite, not yet.

Suddenly Lena perked up again, shifting her body before the realisation hit her and she had to submit to the sharp pain and lie still.

“Kara?”

“Yes baby?” she whispered between kisses over each nipple.

“Did you knot me again?” Lena lifted a brow.

Sheepishly, Kara swallowed and nodded. “Well... I didn’t think it would make you anymore pregnant.”

 


	7. Chapter VII

True to her word, Kara spooned her until the dusky rise of sun the follow morning. Lena was awake for most of the night, caught in her thoughts and stuck in the knowledge the more lucid she became from her satiated heat that what they did had consequences.

For now Kara slept nuzzled into the back of her neck, warm breath drawing down her spine whilst the sheets hung over them gently. Lena pushed back into her hips and was grateful to find nine inches had slowly ebbed away into nothing over the course of their sleep — pushed beyond the limits until her heat was a dot in the rearview mirror, she knew she wasn’t capable of satisfying a rutting god today.

Six times she was knotted, which was six times more than she intended. She cursed herself for being so dirty, so hungry for more during her heat, because Kara was too good and too sweet and she never should have taken advantage of her first rut like this. The thought of Alex’s horrified face was enough to make her cringe, imagining the ‘I told you so.’ she would give Kara for believing Lena wasn’t selfish.

“Morning,” Kara whispered into her neck and yawned, stretching her arms out until she popped at the joints.

“Hey you,” Lena rolled over, slinging a leg over her hip with a smile. “Feel different this morning?”

Responsively Kara looked down and breathed a sigh of relief at the lack of appendage between her thighs. She mouthed a quiet thank you to the aether, rolling on her back and fist bumping the air.

“I take that as a yes…”

“Your snoo-snoo is magic.”

“My what now?”

“You know.” Kara nodded down the length of her naked body with a blushing smile.

“You certainly weren’t calling it that last night…”

“Sorry,” Kara winced and cupped Lena’s cheeks, carefully she pushed forward and pressed a small kiss to the tip of her nose. “I’m sorry if I was too rough with you.” she whispered and pressed her forehead gently.

“No, no, _definitely_ no apologies for that,” Lena offered a small smile. “I can go the pharmacy tonight and get the morning-after pill, it’s no trouble.”

Kara pulled back and hesitated with wide eyes, licking her lips and blinking, “Oh?” she forced a smile too. “Yeah, sure, I mean, of course.” she nodded.

It hit her in the gut like a piledriver, and the worst of it was that she didn’t know why. Of course Lena wouldn’t want to be pregnant, of course it was rational, but it didn’t make the ache leave the lining of her lungs as quickly as she would have liked.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Lena raised a concerned brow.

“Yeah, everything is great… I actually have to run and check in with Alex, let her know I’m alive, you know, the usual.” she forced a small chuckle.

“Of course,” Lena nodded and pressed a small kiss to her lips. “It’s okay if it’s too much but... do you think we could get dinner tonight?”

“Like dinner or a date?” Kara was careful about the distinction.

Lena just smiled and pulled the blankets up to her chin, “Go.” she nodded to the door with a grin, “Go let your sister know I didn’t corrupt you too much and meet me for dinner tonight and find out.”

Kara made the trip across town in record time. Barry Allen had nothing on how fast she ran away, nervous as she was at the prospect of a date after the dirty things she did no less than the night before — still, the idea was exhilarating, it was just the thought of Lena taking the morning-after pill that stuck inside her stomach funny. It was stupid, really. Kara knew that it was inappropriate to even imagine that beautiful girl round with a baby that was theirs, she didn’t even begin to understand where the fantasy came from; all she knew was the fact Lena didn’t share it made her chest feel tight with embarrassment.

By the time she got to Alex’s apartment Lena was the last thing on her mind, she saw the chaos through the front door with her vision. It was a faint image, but she made out Alex curled in a ball in Maggie’s lap on the sofa.

“Guys?” she called through the front door, “It’s me?”

Suddenly Alex was up like a flash, Maggie quickly on her tail muttering something about taking it easy. It made Kara groan internally all the more, of course Alex would be furious with her for going missing.

“Inside. Now.” Alex swung the door open and pointed to the sofa.

Furious didn’t begin to describe the worked-up way Alex pummelled her, pacing backwards and forwards ranting about how she could have gotten herself killed, could have gotten into trouble and Alex wouldn’t be able to protect her. It was enough to have Maggie hanging her head with the occasional pitiful glance thrown Kara’s way.

“I know, I know,” Kara finally sighed and fixed the glasses on the bridge of her nose. “Alex, I’m sorry okay? Really _really_ sorry.” she hung her head too.

Alex paused for a moment, nodding in satisfaction at the apology. “I’m sorry too…” she forced herself to say it.

“What now?” Kara raised a brow in surprise.

“Lena, putting you into protection, all of it. I’m sorry.” she mumbled.

Maggie was quick to speak up, “Alex,” she eyeballed her expectantly.

“Okay, alright.” Alex lifted her hands. “I might, potentially, actually, be a little bit more sorry over the whole ‘giving Lena a hard time’ thing. But barely.”

“Alex.” Maggie said it again, crossing her arms this time.

“Fine.” she rolled her eyes, “I’m sorry for being impossible with Lena… I just,” she paused and swallowed with embarrassment. “You’re my little sister and I just want to know that whoever you give your heart to is going to take care of it like it’s the most important gift in the world, and, so long as Lena is good to you then I will learn to be good to her. I’m sorry, for everything.”

“Can I hug you now?” Kara grinned.

“You better.”

Maggie was quick to make excuses for the kitchen, now that the apologies were done she busied herself with a pot of coffee and over-easy eggs that, apparently, were an impossible feat without Kara’s help.

In the open space of the kitchen, separated from Alex by little more than an island and three stools, Kara stood awkwardly by the counter and watched her sister-in-law shove a carton of eggs her way. “Over-easy, Little Danvers.” she nodded to the pan, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Alex was preoccupied with her work laptop. “So, Lena Luthor,” she raised her brows proudly.

“Maggie…” Kara blushed and shook her head.

“Did you, you know?” Maggie nodded her head towards the pan and cracked an egg.

“Cook her?”

“Replace C with an F and you’ll be along the right lines.” Kara just smiled at that, biting the corners of her lips and glancing anywhere that wasn’t Maggie’s prideful stare. “Proud of you, kiddo,” she elbowed her adopted little sister.

“We, er, I kind of, you know-”

“Spit it out.” Maggie nudged her and took the coffee pot off the boil.

“She kneeled-”

“Lena Luthor kneeled for you?” Maggie nearly sprayed coffee over the backsplash.

“What was that?” Alex raised a brow from the sofa.

“Nothing!” they said in tandem, “Maggie just burned herself on the pan.” Kara forced a clenched chuckle.

“Salve is in the bathroom, Honey.” Alex called back from the laptop that caught her attention.

“Thanks baby,” Maggie said too quickly, dragging Kara with her all the way to the bathroom. By the time the frosted glass door was dragged closed behind them, Maggie lost it. “Lena Luthor,” she pointed, _“The Lena Luthor_ , kneeled for you?”

“I mean, she let me do the thing to her too.”

“The _other_ thing?!” Maggie’s eyes were wide and threw her hands back-and-forth with exasperation. “Specifics Kara, what other thing?”

Swallowing and embarrassed, Kara felt the heat travel up her neck in pink splotches over her skin. “When a daddy and a mommy love each other very much…”

“You knotted her?” Maggie mouthed in shock, and suddenly, it wasn’t a good kind of excitement anymore.

“Yeah like six times-”

“Stop,” Maggie raised her hands, suddenly stuck in too much information than she ever needed to know. “Kara, you can’t tell Alex.”

“What? Why would I-”

“Stop. No. No talking. You **cannot** tell Alex.”

“What am I missing here?”

The bathroom was too small for two people, too cramped and suffocating, it made it all the more worse because whatever was going on, it was enough to have Maggie slouching and rubbing her neck which took up more room than either of them had to spare. Slowly she lowered herself on the edge of the bath and sucked her lips into her teeth, deep in thought.

“If I tell you, you have to look surprised when Alex tells you.”

“Like the time you accidentally told me we were going to Disney On Ice?”

“Yeah, but you have to actually make it believable.”

“Loud and clear, now shoot.”

“Alex is pregnant-”

“What?!”

“Kara.” Maggie crossed her arms and shot her a dead-eyed stare.

“Sorry, sorry,” Kara whispered and took a breath. “What?!” she exasperated again, quietly this time.

“I know,” Maggie smiled, “we’ve been trying for such a long time that I didn’t even imagine what it would feel like to be here again. She told me last night. Well, it’s a long story, she admitted it to me last night.” the statement was corrected with a wry grin, “I won’t have her stressed out, not if I can help it Kara, and you breeding Lena Luthor has stress written all over it.”

“It’s okay, Lena’s taking care of it.”

“Good.” Maggie nodded and breathed in a relieved sigh, “Because I wanna make you an auntie before you make me one.”

Kara couldn’t help but beam, and suddenly, if only briefly, the ache in her stomach over last night ebbed into a manageable dull feeling. She was going to be an auntie, and more importantly, Alex was going to be a mother. Kara was sure of it, there wouldn’t be heartbreak this time.

“Boy or girl?” Kara raised a gleeful brow.

“We don’t know yet, thank god I found out before we get to that point. I have no doubt she would have waited until her waters broke to tell me if I didn’t find out on my own.” Maggie couldn’t help but roll her eyes over that beautiful, stubborn omega. “Is it bad that I’m hoping for a boy though?”

“Me too.” Kara smiled, “I can buy a superman singlet for the baby shower, right?”

“No.”

“Maybe?”

“No.” Maggie chuckled and peered at her, “My boy isn’t getting any big ideas, he’s going to medical school, or maybe Harvard Law.”

“Right... no big ideas.” Kara nodded along playfully.


	8. Chapter VIII

She wants to laugh. That’s the first thing, because how did they trick themselves into believing that she wouldn’t find the pair of them rooting around in a bathroom the size of a refrigerator for half an hour unsuspicious? Then Alex wanted to laugh because in fifteen years she had never seen Kara try so hard to feign normalcy.

"So, Kara knows?" she shot Maggie a look.

“That you’re the best wife in the world?” Maggie rose her brow, half-convincingly too. It was the nudge in Kara’s ribs that gave the game away.

“Oh, yeah,” Kara responded to the prompt. “The absolute best.”

“I have Special Ops training. I spent seven years learning how to tell when someone is lying to me.” Alex reminded them with a smile and stepped forward, arms crossed and brow raised. “And even if I didn't I know that you, Maggie Sawyer, are incapable of keeping a secret and Kara?” she couldn’t help but chuckle at her sweating sister. “Kara can crush a car like a soda can but I’ll be damned if the girl ever learns to hold a poker face.”

“Ugh, fine!” Maggie conceded first with hands over each cheek. “I promise I’ve only told Kara.”

“Considering you only found out two hours ago I should hope so.”

Kara grew sheepish and adorable as it was, the look in her eyes soon developed. That particular look she did when she felt the need to protect someone. “In her defence Alex she only told me so I wouldn’t tell you I gave Lena-”

“Kisses.” Maggie cleared her throat. “Kara gave Lena kisses and I was worried you’d be upset.” she sighed.

Alex stood between the sofa and the coffee table and rolled her neck, eyes closed and patience tested. It was in a split second she made the decision not to push for more information over what was clearly a lie, if only because Maggie was doing the face. That rare and beautifully frustrated face she did when she was desperate to protect her from something. It was infuriating really, Omega or not, Alex was more than capable of handling herself. She made an exception this time though because that face was incredibly cute and today had been nerve-wracking enough.

“Two Alphas and I’m the only one in this room with any instinctive sense.” Alex sighed and let it go. “You kissed Lena Luthor?” The second question came with a rise of her brow.

“Once.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Many times.” Kara said quietly and turned flush.

“Okay… that’s… well… I’m happy.” Alex cleared her throat and nodded, aware and unbothered that it was a lie. 

It’s what Kara needs to hear and so she does it, regardless of principle or truth of the matter. The truth of it is that her insides feel like they’re about to slough away and fall out of her ass at the thought of a Luthor laying her lips on her baby sister. The truth of it is that she’s another base away from reaching for her service weapon and walking the thirteen blocks to Lena’s place with Maggie clinging to her ankles.

Lena might not be a super-villain, maybe she was a good apple that fell from a rotten tree, perhaps she genuinely doesn’t have anything to do with her mother’s bidding or her brother’s enterprising. But the truth of it? The truth of it is that she is a lonely girl in her ivory tower with sharks swimming around who would do anything to bring Supergirl to her knees.

But the truth isn’t what anyone wants to hear, not really, least of all Alex concerning her sister’s rutting exploits, and so she says the lie with a beaming smile.

“So happy for you both,” she sold it well. “I mean, kissing? Wow.” A look was thrown to Maggie for reassurance that everything was okay. “I’m glad you’re taking your time and not jumping into anything too fast… you know… there’s nothing wrong with just taking things slow and maybe, you know, kissing again after several dates.” She sighed.

“I knew you would come around.” Kara smiled and stepped closer, “Can we stop talking about Lena now though? Because I just found out I’m about to be an auntie and if I don’t touch your belly like, right now, I'm going to explode.”

“Well we wouldn’t want that, would we?” Maggie grinned and pushed Kara forward.

Kara nearly flew she was so excited, it made Alex grin and forget everything and everyone who wasn’t precisely in this room. She lifted her sweater up and flinched into how cold Kara’s palms were, which in turn earned an apologetic look. Alex didn't mind. Kara stayed like that for too long, hands pressing gently on her belly that wasn't even a belly yet. 

Maggie watched pridefully, arms crossed and teeth on show with that big smile she reserved for the best moments. Alex couldn’t help but shake her head and enjoy this while it lasted because Kara would be the only Alpha allowed near her if Maggie and her rut had anything to do with it.

“Have you thought of names yet?” Kara looked between them.

‘I only found out two hours ago but we've still got all the books and I can get the crib out of storage and-”

“It’s too soon for that stuff.” She pulled her jumper down and took a step backwards. “Kara you should probably go and check in with J’onn. You've been missing for two days and he’ll want confirmed visuals with his own eyes.”

“Alex are you okay?” Kara slipped a soft hand along her wrist.

The wrist was retracted quickly and Alex couldn’t help but flinch. “Go,” she smiled and nodded to the door. “J’onn. Now.”

It's easy lying about Lena Luthor. It’s easy to pretend she doesn't mind the thought of her baby sister putting herself in danger for the sake of one Omega. It’s easy because Kara has always been impossible, always determined to do the exact thing everyone always warns her not to. It’s lying about this that’s impossible: pretending she’s ready to dust off an old crib and pick up on the bookmark left in baby books she hasn’t touched in nearly two years.

There wasn't some terrible villain to blame for what happened. Alex didn’t run into mortal danger or find herself trapped by some machiavellian character looking to tear her world apart brick by brick. She just went for a bath, pregnant one moment and not the next. Simple as that.

Simple should be an adjective used to describe other things, how simple it was to love Maggie. How simple it was forgive her after fights. How simple it was to make the Pasta Al Fresco she always insisted was too difficult and only ever just-right when Alex stirred it all in. It shouldn’t be a word used to describe lost pregnancies, and yet, it is.

“I know that face.” Maggie spoke up after a moment once Kara left.

“Yeah?” Alex looked at her sadly.

“Yeah baby,” Maggie confirmed and was suddenly too stuck in her instincts. She closed the difference between them until Alex had to peer down to meet her concerned gaze. “It wasn’t your fault-”

“I know that.” She had already spent the best part of six months convincing everybody else that she wasn’t tearing herself up over it. She did, but the truth remained that it wasn’t her fault and she did know that well. Although pragmatism didn’t exactly help her sleep at night when there was a box full of disassembled crib parts stuck in her hallway ready for storage.

“It’s not going to happen again,” Maggie smoothed a hand down her arm and did that wonderful little look she did when she was absolutely certain of something. It made Alex swallow a little easier. “I promise you, I am going to take such good care of you.”

“You already do, and I don’t need you hovering over me every minute of every day worried something bad is going to happen, okay?” Alex forced a smile and pressed a quick kiss against her plump cherry-tasting lips.

“Okay. But do you mind if I do it anyway? I really like looking at you. It stops me punching stupid people.”

“You’re gonna be an amazing mom, Maggie. I'm,” Alex hesitated and looked at the ceiling. It wasn’t enough to soothe her watering eyes but she gave it her best attempt regardless, sighing, swallowing, trying to pull it together. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“No.”

“No?”

No.” Maggie said it more certainly and slipped a hand around her cheek, brushing a thumb against Alex’s temple. “I won’t accept that. You did what you thought was best and you did it because you needed time too. I wouldn’t be a good partner if I expected apologies for that.”

“Perfect little alpha.” Alex grumbled like it was an insult and smiled, “you make me look bad when you’re that gracious.”

“Danvers, you never look bad.”

“All these years and you’re still a flirt.”

“It’s not everyday you find out you’re having a baby with the woman of your dreams.” Maggie chuckled and dipped her nose into the spot of Alex’s neck that smelled so intimately of her. It was a reflexive action, the need to ghost along the mark she gave and take comfort in what was hers.

In that regard Maggie was an Alpha through and through. It was pretty much where the line ended though. In every other way she was tempered and kind and rarely jealous or possessive. She saw Alex the way she never thought an Alpha capable of seeing her: capable, strong, smart, and not just a pretty domiciliary creature to keep her bed warm and her children fed.

“Think we can go back to bed and finish what we started?” Alex murmured in her ear and slipped a hand down her belly.

“Can we, are we allowed to do that?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It won’t hurt the baby?” Maggie tensed and hesitated.

Alex rolled her eyes at first, aware that this was the beginning of a long journey ahead with an over-cautious Alpha terrified of being anything other than perfect and gentle. “Take me to bed right now. Like, _right now_.” She couldn’t even begin to hold back the laugh.

“Boss, whatever you say.” Maggie scooped up her giggling wife.

 


	9. Chapter IX

In the elevator between the first and thirtieth floor of the building she was directed to for this date-that’s-not-quite-a-date-but-may-also-possibly-be-a-date, Kara picked at her freshly-painted pink nails and swallowed the dryness out of her throat. Firstly, she’s going to be an auntie. That’s system overload number one. Secondly, Lena Luthor is sat somewhere in the skyline restaurant above, no doubt looking amazing, waiting to have dinner. That is system overload two, and system overload two is enough to make her wonder if she’s about to puke with the nerves.

Kara can smell Lena already, and voyeuristic as it feels, it also calms her immensely. It’s a soft smell somewhere between neroli oil and the light expensive perfume Lena wore sparingly for nice occasions. Kara couldn’t help but smile to herself, because since when did dinner constitute a nice enough occasion for that specific perfume?

The elevator dings. The doors open. People step off, people step on, and Kara gently pushes forward between them into the heart of the restaurant. She surveyed the room momentarily, the people busy chattering away over Thai fusion food that cost more than a week’s pay at CatCo. She got as far as reaching for her phone inside the black clutch when someone gently tapped her shoulder.

“Kara Danvers?” The hostess beamed her best hospitality grin.

“Yes?” Kara looked up, doing her best to act calm and collected.

“Miss Luthor is waiting for you on the terrace, she asked that we keep an eye out for you.” The hostess said, already beckoning Kara to follow. “If you’d follow me just this way ma’am.”

Ma’am? Kara blinked at the courtesy. She was sometimes a miss but never a ma’am. It made her stomach tie in tighter knots, aware that this place was way out of her budget. Nonetheless she followed the clicking heels that weaved through tightly packed tables and tiny stools.

“Any chance we have a corner table?” Kara spoke up and tried to keep up in the pursuit.

“A corner table?” The hostess raised a quirked brow over her shoulder.

“Yeah, you know, something a little out of the way?”

“I don’t think that will be a problem Miss Danvers,” she chuckled again. “Miss Luthor booked the whole terrace. It will just be you two dining tonight.”

She booked the whole terrace? This had to be a date. Kara swallowed and suddenly wish she wore the gold cocktail dress instead of a blouse. Nonetheless she made do with the itchy silk and slim fitting black jeans. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and followed the hostess out onto the terrace.

From up here the view was superb, it stretched from National City right out to the seared orange water of the river. She could make out CatCo, L-Corp and DEO headquarters too. The beautiful view would be enough to captivate her for a moment on any kind of ordinary evening, but the sight of Lena in that dress? Kara gulped and remained enraptured by that perfect girl.

“Kara,” Lena softly grinned and stood from the open bottle of champagne, smoothing herself down. “You look beautiful.”

She was nervous too. Kara could hear her heart thumping twice as fast, could taste that light fragrant taste of her hormones right in the back of her throat. It rendered her completely calm, because whatever this was, Lena was feeling it too.

“You look…” she smiled and shook her head, failing to find the words. “You look like a woman waiting for someone way more appropriately dressed. I knew I should have gone with a dress.” Kara joked and blushed.

“C’mere,” Lena pulled out a chair and beckoned her closer with that impossibly soft smile. “You’re the prettiest looking Alpha I ever laid eyes on.”

“Are you smooth talking me Miss Luthor?”

“Is it working?” Lena poured another glass of champagne as Kara sat down.

Kara just laughed and lifted the bubbling champagne to her lips. She looked around curiously, “Why the hell would you book an entire terrace? You don’t seem that excessive…”

“Excessive?” Lena repeated the accidental insult.

“I mean. You have to admit… it’s kinda over the top.”

“I can’t remember the last time someone was so forthright, it makes a nice change.” Lena took a sip of her drink and rolled the ring around her finger nervously. “I guess I just wanted to impress you and I _may_ have gotten carried away...”

“Would it be cheesy if I told you you’re the most impressive woman I’ve ever met and this roof terrace has absolutely nothing to do with it?”

“Well I guess it’s not hard, most Omegas aren’t the head of conglomerates–”

“Oh, I didn’t say the most impressive Omega.” Kara interrupted with a quick correction and slipped her hand forward until their fingers almost touched. “I said the most impressive woman. I don’t really get the whole divide between Alphas and Omegas anyway. It feels a little old fashioned.”

“Kara Danvers, I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with you on a topic more than I do right now.”

“I just don’t get it. I mean I hardly have that much experience, I only found out who I was last week… but I don’t… I don’t feel any different?” Kara tilted her head just slightly and mused the thought.

“Being an Alpha isn’t who you are. It’s just a facet, just a drop in the entire ocean of all the things that make you Kara Zor-El.”

“Careful.” Kara replied quickly and looked around, making sure no one heard.

“Sorry.” Lena cringed into her sip of champagne. “I promise I will get better at that. I won’t make you regret that I know what I know… I’ll do my very best.”

“I know.” Kara chuckled and said it so certainly. So sure of the fact her secret was safe with the woman in front of her, because above all things, past all the blurred lines and uncertainty, Lena was a friend first. A damn good one at that.

“So, about last night…”

“Mmm?”

Lena watched her take a nervous sip of champagne, her eyes wandering over every inch of her expression. Kara felt the appraisal. Felt her try and work out what each nook and cranny of her expression meant. “I just wanted to let you know I took the pill so you have nothing to worry about.” Lena said after a pause, licking her lips and forcing a smile.

Kara nodded, aware that whatever Lena planned on saying, it wasn’t originally meant to be that. “That’s good.” She awkwardly laughed and nodded along, not pushing for anything more than what was offered. “Wouldn’t want any little flying Luthors running around!”

“No, absolutely not!”

“I mean, can you even imagine how bad that would be? Us? Having babies? Like little versions of us?” Kara said too enthusiastically and immediately kicked herself.

“Wouldn’t it be just terrible.” Lena sighed and forced another smile.

There was a small talk between perusing the menus and ordering. Then there was small talk over another glass of champagne. The time it took to eat the first course was spent in a comfortable silence as the sun finally sat over National City.

“Did you like it?” Lena wiped the corner of her lipstick mouth and nodded towards the untouched plate of sashimi in front of Kara.

Kara hesitantly paused. It was raw fish. Thick slabs of expensive orange raw fish with grains of white fat running through each cut. Kara went so far as to try a bite, though it was quickly spat back into a tissue when Lena wasn’t looking. Even tried to eat around the sashimi, taking tiny bites of the cold rice underneath—which left the artistically decorated plate a disaster of clumped rice and disgusting expensive orange raw fish.

“Just saving myself for the main course.” Kara assured, feeling Lena’s eyes appraise her plate.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I did try the food.”

“It’s the best sashimi in town.”

“I tried to like it. I really did.”

“Come on,” Lena rolled her eyes with an amused little smile, raising a hand to get the attention of the hostess who waited patiently at the terrace door to wait on their every beck and call. “The bill please.”

“What? Oh Lena, I’m sorry—”

“Stop,” Lena chuckled and rested her hand over Kara’s. “There’s a place downtown that does potstickers, the view isn’t as pretty but I can’t let you sit there and pick at your food on my account. Besides,” she leaned in until that soft smell crawled inside the Alpha’s veins, “I hate sushi too.”

“But. You?” Kara quirked her brow and forced a recovery, her eyes falling down to the clean plate.

“Again, was just trying to impress you.”

“You really don’t need to do that. Consider me sufficiently impressed.”

By the time they got outside again it had already started to rain. It wasn’t too heavy but still enough to warrant desperate hands above their head in an effort not to ruin their hair. Lena tried to hail a cab first, outstretched waving hand with a purse in her grasp for good measure. It was useless though, the yellow cars whizzed past with fares in the back seats until their hands failed in their singular duty to protect what was left of their neat hair.

“Come on,” Kara nodded towards an alley way over the sound of traffic. “Follow me.”

“Into that alley?” Lena asked with raised brows.

“Of all the people capable of protecting you in a dark alley, I think I’m at least number three on the list.” Kara assured and beckoned closer with her hand.

Lena followed, her heels clicking closely behind as they delved further out of sight from the sidewalk. “Kara I’d normally find this really romantic but after what we did last night? If you want to kiss me you…” she lost her words quickly. “Oh.” she blinked in realisation.

Kara floated half a foot off the ground, her red cape fluttering in the breeze of the rain. It made her crack a smile seeing a speechless Lena stumble over herself. “Can I offer you a ride, Miss Luthor? I promise I’m a lot cheaper than a taxi.”

“This is so embarrassing.” Lena rubbed her neck.

“Still, nice to know I don’t need to pull you round a corner if I want to kiss you.”

“You’re a hell of a lot cockier now you’ve had your first rut. No pun intended.”

“I like to think so.” Kara touched the ground and picked her up, both knees over one forearm while the other gently slipped around the small of her back. “I feel more sure of myself.”

“Oh yeah?” Lena whispered and grinned, slipping a hand along the underside of her jaw. “Well I have to say, I’ve yet to see a side of you that I don’t like.”

Kara blinked and felt rain drops fall down her brow like little thuds that reminded her time was still moving. For some reason it hit her harder in this exact moment just how beautiful Lena was, her raven hair made into soft damp waves by the rain, mascara smudging around the bottom of her eyes, lips still as pink as they always were. It was too much beautiful for Kara too process, and so the long splatters of rain came in handy.

Lena looks hopeful and uncertain, her slow moving eyes moving across the plains of Kara’s expression, and Kara isn’t sure how one person can be both of those things at the same time. Hopeful despite reservation. Hopeful and yet unsure that she is wanted back. On any ordinary day Kara wouldn’t be in tune to such a degree, completely unaware of what that one expression meant, but these new instincts help her understand. The Alpha in her belly claws up into her throat and whispers the truths until they echo along the hollows of herself.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind?” Lena whispered and slipped her arms around the back of her neck.

Kara smiled and followed the tugs of her gentle floating heart into the air. She leaned into Lena’s soft lips, “Just you.” She whispered back.

The kiss made her laugh, she couldn’t help it, couldn’t even begin to contain the happy giggle when she heard the pounding of Lena’s heart. When she knew that for once in her damn life she wasn’t the nervous one. Lena was all the more beautiful for her nerves and uncertainty, all the more delicate and human, and so Kara kept kissing her with an eager mouth stuffed to the very brim with compliments she wanted to plant all over Lena’s skin.

“You wanna come back to mine and order takeout instead?” Lena cupped her cheeks and pulled away for just a second.

“I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah baby.” Kara reassured with a grin and dragged her nose along Lena’s nose until her mouth was made fit for purpose once again with particularly delicate kisses. “I’d really, _really_ like that.”

 


	10. Chapter X

The meeting room was packed tighter until Alex and Wynn sat shoulder to shoulder with her in the middle. J’onn wasn’t happy, something about a mandatory meeting for all employees, something about leaked information, something about national defence. It should be enough to stop her glancing often at the phone in her lap but the potential end of the world was an ordinary day at the office.

“He’s going to see.” Alex murmured the warning.

“I can multitask.” Kara thumbed a reply. “Which emoji says I like you but also doesn’t come off too strong?” She sighed and showed her sister the options.

“She’s just asking how your day is going?” Alex screwed her face at the blue messages.

“And?”

“And you’re way over thinking this.”

“We’ve been dating for a month, Maggie says I’m supposed to be over-thinking stuff. She says it’s what Alphas do.”

“Yeah well Maggie doesn’t always give the best advice.” Alex softly reassured with a wink.

“Supergirl!” J’onn barked and the phone instinctively slipped inside her sleeve. “What did I just say?”

“You were just saying that our work now is imperative to not just national security but the safety of planet earth, Director.” Kara guessed and held her breath.

J’onn paused and hesitantly nodded, “All of you will do well to take note like Supergirl…”

Kara breathed a sigh of relief and sat stoically, nodding often and scribbling notes in her lap while J’onn droned on. Alex and Wynn snickered, biting their lips and doing the same.

“You didn’t listen to a single word of that, did you?” Wynn murmured.

“Lucky guess.” Kara shrugged.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy with your phone all the time you wouldn’t have to get lucky, Kara.” Alex reminded sternly.

“Okay, Mom.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Well you’re acting like my mom.” Kara muttered.

Alex sighed and looked off, “Well maybe if you didn’t act like a lovesick puppy I wouldn’t have to remind you that—”

“Alex!” J’onn snapped and the clipboard was thrown down. “Tell me, what is it that’s more requiring of your attention than this attack on the government?” He glared right at her.

“Nothing, sorry.” Alex mumbled the quick apology.

By the time the meeting was finished, Kara raced back to the mission room with her phone in hand. She scrolled through the messages, there were two from Kal, apparently he got the same memo about the government data leak. One from Maggie, also about the super important eye-wateringly boring data leak. One missed call from Lena. Kara quickly hit redial.

“Hello?”

Kara sighed in relief at the voice and smiled, “Hey you.”

“Sorry I have to take this phone call, it’s the director of capital investment.” She heard Lena excuse herself from whatever meeting she was in. “One moment Mr Director I’ll just move into my office where we can talk in private.”

“Mr Director huh?” Kara chuckled and  heard the click of a closing door.

“Sorry about that!” Lena chuckled too. “I called earlier but you were in a meeting.”

“So were you by the sounds of things?”

“Oh that thing? Yeah just a meeting. Anyway, I was just wondering if you would like to join me for dinner tonight? I get off early so we could go to that Chinese place you like?”

“Oh tonight?” Kara winced and glanced at her sister sat at her desk. She already promised they would do scrabble night and pizza at her place with Maggie. Alex looked up and tilted her head slightly.

Lena quickly spoke up, “It’s okay if you have plans…”

“Would it be okay if I asked you to be part of those plans?” Kara asked and slightly regretted it, suddenly remembering how terrible an idea Alex and Lena in a room together sounded. Alex glared and made no attempt to hide her displeasure.

“You know I’d really love that, what do you have in mind?”

“Oh you know, just game night at Alex’s place and maybe some pizza. It makes sense really, we can play as couples.”

“As couples?” Lena chuckled again.

“In couples!” Kara stressed. “I meant in couples.”

Lena agreed. Pleasantries were exchanged. Kara cringed and wished the ground would swallow her. Alex glared. Alex crossed her arms. The conversation ended and Kara wished to be anywhere other than here.

“So…” Kara smiled and prepared herself. “Do you mind if I bring a plus one?”

Alex swallowed and grinded her jaw as if they were tectonic plates on the brink of an earthquake. She held it back though, and Kara knew it was for her benefit. That this was an attempt to keep the peace. “Does she know how to play Danvers’ Scrabble?” Alex managed.

“I’ll teach her. It’ll be fun, I promise!” Alex rubbed her tummy and closed her eyes at that. “Kicking already?” Kara mouthed excitedly, careful to be discreet considering nobody else at work knew.

“Not yet.” Alex forced a smile and was suddenly aware of the mindless action. She removed her hand and laid it on her thigh, swallowing and readjusting herself. “So, I take it you feel pretty seriously about Lena?”

“Well it’s only been a month but… I like her alot.”

“Alot?”

“More than I’ve ever like anyone.” Kara smiled at that and leaned against the table.

“Well that’s good enough for me.” Alex agreed and kept her tongue.

It wasn’t good enough, because Lena wasn’t good enough for her sister. Still, Kara couldn’t be made to understand these things and so she chewed her tongue until the words dried up. It wasn’t good enough, but she would make it good enough. If only because Kara saw the good in Lena Luthor.

—

Alex wished she wasn’t having fun. She tried at first, tried not to laugh, tried not to be warm, tried to innocuously make the whole thing unbearable so she wouldn’t have to suffer through Lena Luthor’s company again. But here they were having fun and Alex was dragged along kicking and screaming until she had no choice but to concede.

“So,” Lena chuckled and toyed with the Scrabble tiles in front of her. “It seems you’re going light on the wine Alex. Are you on duty tonight?”

“For the next seven months or so.” Alex replied and patted her stomach.

“Wait, you’re…?”

“Pregnant.” Maggie added and slipped her arm around Alex. “We’ve been trying for a while so we’re pretty happy about the whole thing to say the least.”

“Congratulations to the happy couple!” Lena raised her drink.

“And the happy auntie-to-be too.” Maggie raised her glass to a grinning Kara.

“I bet after the day you’ve all had happy is the last thing you’re feeling. You guys must be exhausted, I mean, that data breach is a big deal. Over fifty-thousand alien registration records, right?” Lena took a sip and looked expectantly at Alex over the dinner table.

Alex blinked and stared dumbfounded. That information is classified. That information is the sole concern of the highest-levels of government office and a select few individual allies of the nation… and Kara just willy-nilly told the girl she’s been dating for less than a month. The girl whose family has a particular history of orchestrating attacks against the interest of national security.

“Oh don’t worry! If you’re wondering how I know—”

“As a matter of fact.” Alex said and glared at her sheepish sister. “We’re just giving out classified information now Kara? I cannot believe you.”

“She didn’t tell me.” Lena was quick to defend.

Alex watched them and shook her head. How was it that she always ended up the bad guy? Lena played the part of the hero well. She slipped her hand into Kara’s underneath the table and pressed a chaste reassuring kiss to her cheek that everything was okay. It was enough to make Alex’s blood boil because she was the hero, she was the good guy, not Lena goddam’ Luthor.

“It doesn’t make me feel any better.” Alex said the first honest sentiment of the evening and crossed her arms.

“Alex… don’t make this a big deal…” Maggie said low and stern.

“No!” Alex snapped. “I’m not going to bite my tongue, and I’m not going to be quiet and well behaved because it’s what the both of you want. I’m not going to pretend I like that woman when she has classified information that there is no logical reason for her to have! I mean… does that not strike you guys as odd? Does that not have ‘possible villainous behaviour’ written all across it?! This is probably her angle! Get close to Kara and report back information to whoever it is pulling the puppet strings here.”

Alex watched Kara’s expression weaken into the look. That impossible terrifying look she did when her heart was crumpling. It was then she regretted it, then she felt guilty for speaking true. Kara was so good, her heart was so pure and her life was so empty besides duty and responsibility. She deserved happiness too and like it or not Lena made her happy. Alex simmered and sat quietly while the rest of the table awkwardly stared at the Scrabble board waiting for something to be said.

“I think I should go…” Lena said after a moment and slipped her trenchcoat off the back of the chair.

“I think I’ll go with you.” Kara added and stood from the table.

“Kara you don’t have to do that—”

“I want to.” Kara told her firmly and glared at her sister. “It’s pretty clear Alex doesn’t want us here and I would rather spend my evening with you.”

“Kara…” Alex ached and instantly regretted the things she said.

“Lena get your bag.” Kara ordered softly and pulled out her chair. 

…

Lena watched her pace. Kara doubled around the counter, made her way to the sofa, past the coffee table next, all around the apartment ranting about how wrong her sister was, how disgusted she felt that Lena had to listen to those accusations. Lena just sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, allowing the godling to tire herself out.

“How can you be so okay about everything right now?” Kara complained and shot her a look.

“Because she is your sister.” Lena shrugged and sat down at the dining table with a glass of wine. “Granted, I don’t know much about sisters. But I know I would have been lucky to have one who loved me the way Alex loves you.”

“Don’t do that!”

“Do what?!”

“Take her side! She disrespected you. She disrespected you in front of me and she… she accused you of those things!”

“I’m well aware. I was there.” Lena stood and walked towards her huffing little god. “Kara,” she suddenly became aware and drew in the hot heady scent in the air. “When was your last rut?”

“A month ago?” Kara answered and then did a double take, suddenly realising too. “Oh no...”

“Don’t panic, it’s okay.” Lena softened and slipped her hands over her shoulders. “Look at me…” she whispered and touched Kara’s nose with the tip of her own. Kara’s frightened hesitant eyes soon obeyed and Lena wanted to frown at how worried they were. “It’s going to be alright. I promise it won’t be bad like last time, we’ll stay here until it’s taken care of and the DEO will have to come through me if they want to try and put you in that basement again.”

“But you’re not in your heat? I could hurt you… I won’t do that Lena. I’d rather be locked up than risk hurting you.” Kara stood taller and made her expression stern. “I won’t hurt you, Lena.”

“Okay we’re not synchronised yet, it’s a bump in the road.” Lena sighed and slipped her hand around the back of Kara’s neck. She could feel how tightly wound the Alpha had made herself, could feel the stiffness of every muscle like steel beneath her fingertips. “I am going to take care of you. Just return the favour when it’s my turn.”

“Your turn?”

“Yep. When I’m a complete needy mess and I need you to come and take care of my heat. It’s only fair.”

Kara smiled and Lena could finally relax. It was a coyish smile earned by the mere thought of being needed by an Omega. This Omega. The Omega she wanted to send the right emojis too and get in fights with her family over. Lena pushed herself further into Kara’s chest and rested her head beneath the Alpha’s chin, breathing in the pheromones that pumped out of her like it was the most intoxicating smell in the world.

“How needy a mess are we talking?” Kara whispered playfully and smoothed down her raven hair.

“On a scale of needing you to come to the office and fuck me with your fingers to flying me home and keeping me satiated for three days? Most likely the latter.”

“That sounds like the best weekend ever.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself now, let’s get you taken care of first,” Lena cupped her cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. 

It was that domesticated simple act that made Kara’s heart clench, that made her entire world feel shaky for a moment. It was wonderful and soft and the exact thing she never thought she would be allowed to have… if only because superheros belonged to the people on the streets below and weren’t allowed to indulge in the same simple pleasures.

“Do you think we could watch Netflix and cuddle?” She felt ashamed for asking for something so small and intimate. 

“Do I have to wear clothes?” Lena hummed, earning a sigh of relief from her godlet.

“Nope. I wasn’t planning on wearing any either.” Kara scooped her up in both arms.

 

 


	11. Chapter XI

The television drones away, the candles by the window flicker like dying sentinels that can only muster tiny blue flames now, the air remains thick with that light smell that is quintessentially Lena, and all Kara can do is lie there with long thick lockets of raven hair curling around her fingers and melt into every inch of this perfect rare moment. The kind of precious moments where the world didn’t even exist beyond the searing light of the television.

Lena shifted again, Kara’s entire body had been used as a pillow over the course of the evening. Her shoulder first, then her collarbone, her breast next, and then the top of her belly where the restless omega finally settled and stayed still for a couple of hours. The feeling of her warm skin lacking that physical contact with Lena made her instinctively growl, which then embarrassed her, enough that she turned pink and shot Lena’s amused face an apologetic look.

“No, don’t do that.” Lena softened into a smile and crawled up the bed, lying on top of her naked little Alpha with a hip slung over her thigh.

“What?” Kara swallowed, still unsure of herself.

“You’re doing that adorable guilty puppy expression. Look! Look! There it is!” She giggled and cupped Kara’s frowning cheeks with tender brushing thumbs. “You do not disgust me. Your body does not disgust me. Your rut does not disgust me… if anything it does the exact opposite.” She leaned in with parted lips and tilted her head, kissing the Alpha gently.

“Oh, the opposite?” Kara asked inquisitively with a surprise.

“And now the puppy is turned on. Okay, I see how it is.” Lena teased and pushed forward to kiss her neck. “Are you fully in rut?” She whispered like a tempest burning the skin.

“Fully in rut?” Kara replied dumbly.

“Has your penis-”

“Oh!” Kara gasped in realisation. “I, er, I don’t know. I don’t want to look.”

“Can’t you feel it?”

“I don’t think I can.”

“Kara I’m sure you would feel if something that big was suddenly between your thighs…”

“Really? Who is the one with the penis Lena? You or me?”

“Okay, alright. Do you want me to check for you?” The hand slowly slipped down her toned slim belly. Lena’s face pulled away from her neck and settled right in front of her, wide-eyed and lip between her teeth.

“Knock yourself out pretty girl.” Kara conceded with a smile and flopped down into the pillows, spreading her taut thighs to allow the eager omega between her legs.

She touches her the same way sunlight touches unfurling lilies, gently and with reverence. Her hands slip around her hips, body shuffling further down the bed with the occasional kiss to the soft skin of her belly. It makes Kara groan and furrow her brows, it feels like electricity slipping beneath the surface of her skin every time those tender thumbs brush her skin into goosebumps.

“Okay, well, we can work with this.” 

Kara listened to her soft excited voice, well aware that irresistibly tantalising smirk was worked into her defined jaw as the underwear was pulled off her legs. Kara didn’t dare look though, the thought of that new appendage between her thighs still wasn’t something she was capable of thinking about most of the time. There was nothing wrong or gross about her body, she knew that, but this was all new and she was still adjusting. 

“Kara?”

“I don’t wanna look.” She blurted and kept her eyes focused on the ceiling.

“Kara…” her voice became a long sad sound.

“Please, I don’t want to look.” Kara repeated herself again.

“Okay baby.” Lena pressed a kiss to her hipbone. “So long as you know I think you’re divine, and beautiful, and absolutely perfect…” each punctuation was echoed with another kiss to her groin and thighs.

Kara shook her head with exasperation and released a tiny laugh. She wondered for a moment, if they were in an infinite apartment, with infinite versions of them both, all of them naked and flopping on the soft bed sheets too, would there be a version of herself where she was brave? Where she would take the lead and be the Alpha she was supposed to be… or would all of those infinite versions of Lena melt her completely with that soft sloping smile and eager gentle fingertips.

“Tomorrow when you’re fully in rut you won’t even have to think about it,” Lena reassured with a kiss to her navel, and Kara felt her hard painful length graze against her warm skin in a brief moment of respite from the ache in her stiffness. “Won’t even think twice.” Lena chuckled and pushed one of her thighs further apart.

“Don’t you think that’s sad?” Kara’s brows furrowed.

“What?” Lena quirked a confused brow.

“Not thinking about it. I don’t want to do that… every time we lie together in this bed and I get to see you without your clothes on, all for me, I want it to be the only thing in this entire world I can think about. I want you to be the only thing that makes sense.” She told her gently and slipped her raven hair behind her ear, craning up to peer into those torn green eyes.

From this angle she could see all of herself, penis and all. It wasn’t as strange as she thought it would be, it made electricity run through her veins like a crack of lightening; as if the sight of her length nestled between her almost-girlfriend’s cleavage was the place it was supposed to be. She still felt feminine, still felt as much of a girl as she did the other twenty-eight days a month – although maybe a little more dominant and possessive.

“You are so good.” Lena almost complained and rubbed her blushing cheeks. “Every time I think you’ve done it, every time I think you’ve reached the level of perfect one little Alpha is allowed to be… there you go again.” She sighed and pressed a cheek to the top of Kara’s thigh, laying there with smouldering eyes.

“Show me what you want to do to me?” Kara dared the statement with a swallow and felt that seedling in her stomach start to bloom. 

It was a mild pain to begin with, like an ache in her belly that drifted. Then Lena took her clothes off and curled up on her warm skin in her nice lace panties, and the pain was intensified in the most brilliantly pleasurable way – like the feeling of the bones in her spine popping with satisfaction. Now the pain was impossible to contain, as if the space at the bottom of her stomach was catching alight with the threat to burn her whole body down with it unless Lena wrapped around the stiffness that exists only for her.

Lena does not make her little godling wait.

“Jesus and all his apostles!” Kara shot up and groaned as plump lips slipped around the head of her cock. She felt those plump lips smirk into her pubic bone as her length was taken with ease, which made her growl and want to grip the back of Lena’s hair just to keep her there, she doesn’t do that though… Kara reminded herself of the simple fact that Lena wasn’t in heat and she deserved to see a more controlled and contained Kara Zor El. Instead she laid back down and breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, gripping the bed sheets until they started to disintegrate inside her fists.

“Does my girl like that?” Lena purred as her lips came undone, her languid hand taking up the vacancy with tender strokes that make Kara’s belly sore with want.

“Yeah baby, I like it.” Kara breathed out and nodded.

“Mind coming back down?” There was that beautiful smirk again. Kara suddenly became aware of the fact she was levitating a few inches off of the bed, it made her groan with embarrassment. “That’s it,” Lena chuckled and slipped her hands around each hip to tether her to the sheets. “Stay right there where I can have you…” She whispered and placed those soft kisses over her hips and groin again.

“Here.” Kara groaned out the word with a throttled growl, guiding Lena by the cheeks to the cock that lazily bumped into her lips. “Right there.”

“I like it when you grab me like this.” Lena told her with a scalding whimper and kept her Alpha’s hands on her cheeks, wrapping her lips into her rutting cock once more. It was there she stayed for a while, her head bobbing between Kara’s trembling thighs with a swirling tongue lashing her head that made the stars burn through the ceiling. This time Kara felt herself begin to snap like elastic at its breaking point, that smooth raven hair found itself wrapped around her fist, bringing Lena down until she felt herself slip inside her throat.

Lena lightly gagged, and Kara pulled herself away immediately.

“Get back here.” Lena demanded with a mumble and got up on her knees, resting her weight on Kara’s belly with her forearms instead. “Trust me that if I want you to stop, I’ll make sure you know…” her eyes locked with Kara’s, and all the godlet could do was weakly nod in sheer amazement that this was happening.

Lena bobbed back down, and this time, Kara felt as if she was being swallowed whole. It was messy and urgent, she felt warm saliva cling to her shaft and run down its length, felt her head bump inside her windpipe, felt Lena gag and tighten on her thick stiffness and then immediately dig long manicured nails into her hips so Kara knew to stay put.

Legs were instinctively widened to make more room for her Omega, and suddenly, that was exactly how it felt. Lena was her Omega. Outside of this room she could conquer and rule the entire world for all Kara minded, but collapsed on these sheets, Lena belonged to her in exactly the same way the earth belongs to the sun.

Kara lifted fingers beneath her Omega’s chin and brought her messy lips away from her stiffness. Nostrils flaring, neck tensing, she didn’t know what to do for a moment… caught between the version of herself that want to taste Lena too and make her cum with the most gentle reverence possible, and the version that wanted to put her on her back and fuck her until it hurt.

“Here, now.” Kara growled and attempted to pull her up.

Lena swatted her away as if she was a puppy, and though it only felt like a blade of grass pushing back against her, Kara remained still and released her hand away from the Omega’s arm.

“I want to make you cum like this first, otherwise your body will want to rut me when we have sex, and we can’t do that tonight love.” Lena whispered and dove back down.

If she was at all disappointed, it didn’t last long. Soon those lips were back around her and Lena took her as if she was a thing that existed only for her pleasure, lips wrapping around her cock once again and delicate hands pumping her shaft. “You taste good baby,” she groaned and went back down, reaching her hips again this time.

This mercurial girl managed to ruin her entire resolve with nothing but her delicious mouth, and Kara couldn’t wrap her mind around that. Or, at least the part of her that remained. It wasn’t that she felt as if she was slipping away… but rather it felt like something else was taking over. Something primitive and restless.

She took Lena around the back of her neck and thrusted into her mouth with a growl, and somehow, Lena devoured her whole and accepted everything given to her. Kara didn’t know why that surprised her so much, Omega’s were resilient, not wallflowers made to be appreciated from afar but rather built of much stronger intensity and resolve than their Alpha counterparts. Suddenly she felt less dirty and animalistic, because this was what Lena wanted too.

Slim manicured fingers slipped up her belly and cupped her breasts, softly rolling her nipples between her fingers while Kara canted into her mouth and made a mess of her. Kara could smell her arousal lingering in the air like a tempest that burned, and with each thrust it only grew more intense.

“I’m gonna cum…” She growled and began to pull away.

Lena held her right there and buried her mouth into her hips as an act of defiance, sucking and swirling her tongue around the sensitive length of her cock. It emboldened Kara all the more until she was growling and cumming into the valley of her throat.

By the time she finished, by the time her senses were granted back to her in a bursting moment of clarity, Kara’s eyes widened with shame and concern. Did she really just do that to Lena Luthor?

The concern didn’t last for long, by the time her eyes veer down to the beautiful girl between her legs, Lena is grinning and kissing her thighs, brushing her nose against them submissively. She wasn’t in heat but Kara could smell the arousal cling to her.

“That was amazing.” She choked out in awe.

“Kara?” Lena locked eyes with her and made the inelegant climb over her body until she was straddling her hips, leaning against her still stiff cock. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

 


	12. Chapter XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just a gentle reminder that my heart is tender and this is a Supercorp endgame story... have a little faith!

Alex flopped down on the bed beside her reading wife. Maggie’s nose was stuck in a book, pretending to seem occupied while she stewed on her words. Alex knew it was the case, but nonetheless she left her wife to blanch.

“Is there anything you want to say to me?” Alex gently prodded, curling up on her side while Maggie flicked the page.

“What is there to say? I think you said enough over dinner for everyone.” She lightly scolded Alex, peering over the brim of her glasses with the look. It was a particular look she’d mastered over their marriage, one reserved for the occasions were Alex really messed up.

“So you don’t agree with me that something is suspicious about Lena knowing classified information?”

“I know classified information. Does that make me a terrorist?” Maggie challenged and set the book down on her stomach.

“That’s different and you know it! You’re a DEO contractor, you’re cleared to have sensitive information and you’re in the family circle too.”

“Look, Kara probably told her. She might have even let it slip without realising. That’s what happens when you’re falling in love and you find yourself blabbering about everything in the world, except she’s a superhero and her blabbering could bring down a nation on a fragile enough day to the wrong ears.”

“This isn’t Kara’s fault!” Alex bit and crossed her arms.

“Then why do you treat her as if it is all of the time?!” Maggie snapped and glared. “You are so impossibly hard on her. You treat her all of the time as if her loving Lena Luthor is somehow a personal slight against you and in all honesty Alex, I love you, but I’m tired of it too. You have to let it go!”

“And what if I’m right? What if Lena is hiding something and she is using Kara for information? Do I just let her get hurt like that?!”

“Jesus Christ she is an adult Alex! Heartbreak is part of the deal! And you know even if Lena does have ulterior motives, even if Kara is about to get her heartbroken, it still is none of your business until Kara asks for your help. You can’t force your opinions down her throat and expect it to do anything other than push her away!”

The shouting ceased and an awkward silence fell over their bedroom. It was a thick and pensive type of quiet, one full to the brim with brooding on both of their parts. It was rare her and Maggie argued, which was what made it so horrible when they really got into it.

Slowly, Alex sat up and shuffled to the edge of the bed, rubbing the back of her neck and hunching over her small bump. The kicking was violent tonight, as if even their unborn child was punishing her for loving too hard, too overbearing when it came to Kara.

“I hate arguing with you.” Maggie spoke up after a moment and shuffled down the bed too, her legs slipping over the edge until she was right there beside her wife. She was still in her rut and that probably had something to do with the outburst too, she knew it wasn’t easy on Maggie dealing with her hormones and a pregnant wife in tandem. She was perfect at it ninety percent of the time, she was allowed the other ten just to be a fallible human being.

Alex swallowed and slipped her palm across Maggie’s thigh so she could hold her hand. “I don’t like it either,” she swallowed and locked her fingers.

“I know you love Kara, I know you do, but I just want you to realise that if we were characters on the pages of a book right now… you wouldn’t be the hero in this situation. Do you get that?” Maggie softened and tried to appeal to her rational.

“I don’t care whether I’m the hero or the villain, so long as the people I love are safe. That’s all that matters to me; you, dad, mom and Kara. That’s it. That’s everyone.”

Maggie offered a tight little smile and slipped a hand over the bump, “Everyone?” She raised a brow.

 

***

 

Three days passed and Kara spent them all in the sprawling sheets of Lena’s bed, more often than not, with Lena beside her. There was a strange intimacy learned in the days spent with her paperthin girl, the rituals, the habits, the perfectness of all of each of them. Lena awoke first in the morning and brought coffee and breakfast, always two eggs sunny side up with a round of toast. She insisted on being the big spoon too, sometimes she’d let the little Alpha in her bed have her way, but again, more often than not, Kara awoke to find herself curled in the warmth of Lena’s embrace.

Today was no different.

“How are you feeling today?” Lena whispered in her shoulder blade as Kara stirred from her sleep. Kara groaned and pulled the blankets over her head, swallowing and trying to drift back asleep. “Uh uh, not today lady.” Lena chuckled and clambered on top of her, tugging the blankets away from the Kryptonian’s grip. “It’s a beautiful day outside and you’ve kept me in this bedroom long enough, you owe me a date today. I want to go somewhere.”

“Oh yeah? You asking me on a date Miss Luthor?” Kara beamed up and slipped her hands around the small of Lena’s back. The skin there was so soft and smooth, and then there was those little dimples perfect for slipping her thumbs into. Kara did just that and held Lena softly, leaning up to kiss the underside of her jaw while her almost-girlfriend just looked down in amusement at her.

“Should I bring you a corsage too and promise your mom to have you home for nine-thirty?”

“Well… it couldn’t hurt?” Kara grinned and pull her down into the pillows with her.

 

***

 

They chose the zoo, apparently that was the place Lena Luthor, most eligible Omega in all of National City wanted to go, the National City Exotic Zoo. It made Kara grin inside, because how could this girl possibly get any more perfect?

She kept a respectable distance at first as they walked around the enclosures, careful to dig her hands into the pockets of her beige trench coat in case Lena didn’t want to be touched with affection in public. They dawdled along while the sunshine skimmed down their spines, licking ice cream that dripped down the cone and stopping to take turns reading the little signs.

“Okay, so,” Lena took her turn and twisted the ice cream cone over her tongue. “Here we have the penguin enclosure… penguins are flightless birds who mate in pairs for life, this month’s penguin of excellence is Peaches, whom won the accolade for sharing her fish with Butters, who is the smallest Omega of the group.”

Kara chuckled and leaned over Lena’s shoulder to read. “Adorable. I’m definitely Peaches.”

“Oh are you now?” Lena pretended to be surprised.

“Mmhm I’d share my fish with you if we were penguins, I’d be a very loving penguin.” Kara said playfully under her breath, pushing her ice cream up until a little drip of it sat on the tip of Lena’s nose. “See?” She giggled.

“You’re the worst girlfriend ever.” Lena chuckled the complaint, furrowing her brows and digging in her pocket for a handkerchief.

Kara stopped and felt the world still into an absolute silence on the syllables of that word. She gulped, stalled and wide eyed like a rabbit in headlights while Lena cleaned off her nose.

“Did I get it all off… wait why are you looking at me like that?” Lena quirked and stared before the realisation hit. “Oh god… I’m sorry! I know we haven’t talked about it and I know I shouldn’t have just assumed-”

“Be my girlfriend?” Kara felt herself plead. “Just, please, be my girlfriend?”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Or the Butters to my Peaches, whatever works for you?” Kara shot her a hopeful smile.

Lena leaned in and pressed a chaste gentle kiss to her lips, grinning and wrapping her arms around the tops of Kara’s shoulders until they were both giggling. “I would like that so much.” She whispered.

“Good, cus’ it’s all I’ve been able to think about for weeks now.” Kara pulled away and stared at her girlfriend with absolute reverence.

“I wouldn’t be Butters though, just so you know.” Lena bit a little smirk and raised Kara’s hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles. She turned back to the sign, skimming down to the next paragraph. “The naughtiest penguin in the enclosure this month is Lavender, who won the distinction by shoving Leonardo, the largest Alpha in the flock, into a puddle while he wasn’t looking.” Lena read aloud and giggled.

“Ah let me guess, you’re Lavender?”

“Better hope it does rain.” Lena bumped her hip.

It was then her phone rang in her purse, and for a moment Lena looked nervous. Kara didn’t read too much into it, too thrilled at the prospect of her new girlfriend. She kissed Lena’s cheek and took the ice cream cone out of her hand, “I know you’re just being polite but I really don’t mind, take the work call.”

“You sure? I really don’t have too…” Lena seemed reluctant.

“Seriously, go ahead! I’ll be right here watching Lavender cause mayhem while you’re gone.”

“You’re perfect.” Lena sighed and kissed her lips, pulling the phone out of her pocket. “Hello?” She said under her breath into the receiver, wandering over the a nearby bench.

Kara didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but her superior hearing made it impossible. She could hear children playing two miles away, listened to the argument of an old married couple in the kitchen of their apartment down by the lower-east side. It was Lena’s conversation that caught her attention though.

“Are you alone?” The person on the phone asked.

“I told you not to contact me again.” Lena replied angrily, before she swallowed a frustrated sigh. “I’m with Kara now.”

“Excellent, so you did listen to at least something I said in our meeting. Good work, but now down to the important business. The DEO has caught wind of our plans so it would seem we have a mole in our mists… it’s time to prove your loyalty, Lena.”

“I won’t hurt her.”

“Oh, quite the opposite dear… you’re going to get me information, Lena. That is if you want to prove that blood _really_ is thicker than water.”

 

 


	13. Chapter XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gentle second reminder... the cake is not a lie... everything is going to be okay!

The radio blared away, the cupboards hung open, every pot and utensil sat in service somewhere in the kitchen. It was bliss, the kind of rare bliss Alex was only afforded two days a week. The kind of bliss where she got to sing along to terrible eighties pop, wiggle around the kitchen, busy herself with whatever was for dinner, all while Maggie disapprovingly rolled her eyes at the mess and aggressively closed cupboard doors like the female assistant on Wheel of Fortune.

It was bliss, absolute reverent domestic bliss.

“It’s burning!” Maggie fanned the smoking pan with a dishrag, wide eyed and panicking.

“Relax…” Alex sighed and sauntered over, calm and collected in a way she rarely managed during the working week. “It’s supposed to do that. I think?” She murmured to herself and glanced back at the recipe book. “Ah, no. You’re right. It’s definitely on fire.”

“Thanks Captain Obvious.” Maggie murmured and pulled the pan off of the heat then set it on the back ring. “Pregnancy brain much?” She raised her brows and stared disapprovingly at her beautiful mess of a wife.

“Leave me and the baby out of this, it’s not our fault you don’t like your lentils well done.”

“Lentils well done? God Alex.” Maggie cringed and couldn’t help but laugh. “I know the kitchen is your safe space but please, and I really mean please, like I’m begging, can we get takeout tonight?”

“Now that entirely depends on what’s in it for me…” Alex said under her breath with a smile and slipped her arms around the back of her neck.

“Well you are very tempting. I could get used to this,” Maggie’s hand circled around a tiny bump and then slipped up to her breasts. “And these too. Definitely these.”

“So I didn’t tire you out last night? You looked pretty tired from what I remember?” Alex teased and pushed her wife’s dark hair off of her face. It made Maggie groan and blush at the memories of the night before. Alex worked the last of her rut to an inch of its life, hungry for more and more until eventually the Alpha passed out asleep over her spine. It was adorable as it it was slightly embarrassing. “You did the best you could.” Alex commiserated with a chuckle and cupped her cheeks, coaxing two dark chocolate eyes up to meet her own. “It was a long, long week.”

“I want a perfect day with you today so count me in for whatever. We can go get back in bed and I can do to you what the bees do to flowers, but in an Alpha kinda way. We can binge watch Charmed again. We can choose baby names and look at nursery furniture online, and then, please, for the love of god… takeout?” Maggie bit her bottom lip and tilted her head expectantly.

“Race you.” Alex took off and jumped over the back of the sofa.

 

…

 

Kara twiddled with the loose piece of cotton at the bottom of her cream sweater until it began to unravel. The car ride home was scant of conversation; quiet and thoughtful and reserved for figuring out what the hell was going on. Lena couldn’t be using her. She couldn’t be evil. It didn’t make sense because Kara has given her entire life to protecting this world and defending it from all who mean to do it harm, done it without so much as a thank you or even an appreciative nod from those in charge, and she never asked for a thing in return. Lena had to be a tiny thank you from a binary universe capable of seeing that kind of selflessness — it was only fair.

“You’re very quiet,” Lena leaned over and rested her head on top of Kara’s shoulder. “Did I break you?”

“Not yet.” Kara forced a smile and licked her lips, looking down uncertainly. “Lena can I ask you something?”

“That doesn’t sound good?” Lena pulled away and met her uncertainty with a hesitant stare. “Did you change your mind? Do you… do you not want to be in relationship?”

“God no, definitely not that.” Kara blurted and pushed a quick smile. She turned and faced her, fixed on those perfect melting green eyes. Well, melting green eyes that were perfect this morning. There not so perfect right now. They’re beautiful still, sure, but there’s something beneath them and Kara can see it now — it’s a fleck, a speckle, a tiny marr of veneer that is hiding something… she just can’t put her finger on what. “You know you can tell me anything, you know that don’t you?” Kara urged gently and slipped a hopeful hand in Lena’s manicured fingers.

Lena smiled, her eyes fluttering down to the two intertwined hands in her lap. “I never was good at telling the whole story, at least I don’t think it’s ever been a strong suite. The middle is just always so much more interesting to me. I think I’ve always been like that, Lex was the same.” Her voice trailed off with a sigh.

The town-car continued to move with that slow pace through the city, buildings towering over them like urban giants. The late sun tried to peek from behind them once in awhile, a lazy attempt at best, Kara couldn’t help but think that in the brief moments she had to cover her eyes from the searing sunlight that wrapped around the tall city bank and the west street department store over by the bagel place she liked for lunch.

“What is it you like so much about the middle?” Kara dug a little with a soft inquisitive tone.

Lena grinned and then hid it, staring off out of the window briefly. “If I told you… you’d think I was a loser.” She chuckled.

“You’re officially Kara Danvers’ girlfriend. I already think you’re a loser.” Kara joked and gave her a softening look. “Come on, spill.”

“There’s always this tiny moment in the middle of a book where it looks as if everything is happy and perfect, right before the problem comes. Like you could just drop the story right there, right on that single page and let the characters just… be. You know? It’s not a perfect ending but it’s good enough.”

“You don’t like overcoming problems? Given your track record… well, it’s surprising.” Kara mused and fiddled with her glasses. “Not that you’re a problem magnet! Oh, I didn’t mean that!” She said defensively and blushed pink.

“Didn’t think it until you said it baby.” Lena chuckled and leaned over, her hand slipping around the back of that little alpha’s neck. Try as she might, desperate to remain focused, Kara failed in her one task and melted into the kiss and the pet name and all of it. 

The kiss was brief and all the more perfect because of that, it was somehow domestic and tame. For a moment Kara forgot what she was supposed to be mad about.

“Potstickers. Tonight.” Lena pulled away and smiled with a hum.

“Erm, what?” Kara blinked and straightened her sweater with a quirked brow.

“You,” Lena crooned and budged up next to her girlfriend, “Are staying at my place and I’m feeding you potstickers. In bed. Naked. Incredibly, very, offensively, naked.” She leaned in and kissed her again, giddy and grinning.

If Kara could be mad, she would be. If she could be stern, if she could be determined to get to the truth, if she could be Supergirl or even Kara Danvers—CatCo reporter, then she would. But that’s the trouble with falling in love… she realised too slowly. This iteration of herself was nothing more than a beating heart and two hands that felt as if they were built entire solar-systems away just to find purchase across the stars around Lena’s slim waist.

She knew this was a bad idea, the car pulled around the city streets and finally slowed to a halt outside of Lena’s building. Kara spent the journey from the ground floor to the penthouse in a quiet kind of stiffness — aware and stuck in the knowledge Lena was hiding something, and melting into the need for just a few precious moments to be paper-thin, stupid and human. She glanced up into the closed golden elevator doors and smiled at the reflection, her and Lena hand in hand, domestic, boring, and together.

“So, I hear there’s a very big, very important, very closed door meeting with the President herself next month?” Lena said and stirred Kara’s attention. “I heard through the grapevine that Supergirl herself has been invited?” She bubbled with excitement.

“Oh,” Kara replied with surprise and paused. “You know about that?”

“I keep my ears to the ground.” Lena answered as they stepped out in the foyer of the apartment. “I know you’re not allowed to talk about official business but I want to play the role of the proud excited girlfriend. I want details. What are you wearing? Is she staying around for long? Are you going to cheat on me with her? That kind of thing.” Lena chuckled and pulled out her raven bun, shaking her hair loose with a sigh. The heels were kicked off next, her trench coat shirked off gently and rested over the back of the sofa.

The clogs turn in Kara’s mind slowly, they ache and jostle against the rusted teeth of one another. It took a moment to gather herself and realise this is reconnaissance. It has to be. She only found out herself this morning that she was required in the closed-door meeting — apparently Madame President herself had some choice words to share with them about the data leak, words that needed to be departed in person. 

Still, the shoes are kicked off and the glasses folded and set on the side table, nervous as she felt, Kara managed to maintain some semblance of normalcy. “I’ll probably wear red and blue, maybe get the cape specially laundered. What do you think?” She looked up and smiled, fussing over the small job of folding Lena’s coat and jacket.

“I think it sounds like an important meeting. I assume she’s in town to discuss the data leak?” Lena asked casually and opened the refrigerator, bringing a bottle of white wine with her to the glass cupboard. Two were removed and held at the stem while the wine was poured, and Kara twisted on how to respond.

“You know we can’t talk about that Lena.” She said with a small voice.

“Oh come on?” Lena groaned and hung her head back, chuckling and unphased. “She has to be coming because she wants to hear you guys have a plan. Some kind of new software. Something to stop this happening again, I mean, you do have good news for her right?”

“Lena.” Kara bit and felt the swell of frustration foam into her throat. “How did you know about the data leak?”

“I have my sources—”

“Just, Be straight with me!” Kara said with exasperation and twisted into a sad expression. “There is no way you should have even known about it in the first place and… and I’m not trying to say that you’re…” Kara paused and winced on the words.

“That I’m evil?” Lena said with a removed tone and took a sip from her glass.

“Yeah, I’m not trying to say that it’s just…” Kara shrugged and scratched her neck. “I like you so much but I have to be more than just your girlfriend sometimes. What I do is… important.”

Lena stepped forward and nodded, she was downtrodden and hurt. Kara knew that, and it hurt her in turn. “The morning of the leak I met with a senator soon to be up for re-election.” Lena began to explain and set her wine glass down with a sad smile. “A senator whom in the past I have made large donations to their campaign. A senator who is planning on running for the presidency next year. He wanted to make sure L-Corp didn’t have anything to do with the data leak, he thought it would look bad if it came out in the press during election season.” Lena sighed and looked at the floor, and beneath the reluctance of her words, Kara heard the unusually fast drumming of her heart. “You’re not the only person who is convinced I might be evil. In fact, it’s a pretty popular opinion.” She offered a half smile.

She’s not the telling the truth. The stench of it emanates from her with that fast hummingbird heartbeat and the increase in her body-temperature. It makes Kara twist and clench her hands, desperate to be wrong just this once. “So that was who you met with when I called you… you were with a senator?”

“Yes.” Lena lied again.

“You’re lying.” Kara sneered and blinked away embarrassed tears. She grabbed her coat and wasted no time walking to the door, searching for her shoes. “I don’t want to know how much of this was just a lie to get close to me so if you don’t mind I’m just going to go and try not to stew on that.” She mumbled and wiped away ugly tears.

“Kara!” Footsteps raced behind her.

“Don’t you dare!” Kara barked and snapped around, shuddering and beyond holding her tears. “All of those questions about the president… pretending you liked me. Pretending you were proud of me.” She sadly laughed at her own nativity. “I really wanted to believe you cared about me… but Alex was right.”

“Kara…” Lena hung with shame like she was crushing beneath the weight of it. “Can’t you just let yourself believe that I’m not lying about falling for you? that I’m not lying about being on the right team? I swear it to you.”

The absence of that tell-tale rushing heartbeat isn’t enough to bring her down to a rational headspace, instead, all Kara can do is gather her things and try to force some semblance of control over herself. “Love isn’t a thing people like me are allowed. I should have remembered that. I should have.” She nodded and swallowed the fact like bitter wine.

“Kara don’t go.” She says it so small, so lost, so desperate. There’s tears in her eyes and that makes it all the worse. “Whatever you think is going on… I promise you, it’s not what you think. I promise you.”

“Goodbye, Lena.” Kara walked out without another word and left her standing there.

In the quiet of the apartment, Lena stands still and keeps herself upright. It’s a manual effort. There’s lead in her lungs, hot metallic iron that seeps into the pleura of her airways and renders completely solid. It’s heavy, so heavy, and she can’t breathe. The air is forced through her nose and immediately leaves her mouth, and all she can do is stand there with blistering eyes and try not to fall.

She touches her stomach, briefly, and that makes her feel all the more violently sick. This isn’t supposed to be the way things are. Then again, that’s the story of her life, an absolute chaotic mess of Murphy Law — a cacophony of far away plausibilities that somehow always creep up on her just when things feel solid.

The phone rings, and though it’s the last thing Lena wants to do, she finds herself reaching for vibrating iPhone. She has too keep moving with the plan, has to keep trecking down this path she’s chosen because now it’s too late to turn back.

“Mom?” Lena clears her throat and answers.

“Hello Lena,” Lillian replies with a soft tone. “Just calling to make sure our little chat earlier didn’t affect you… too much. I wouldn’t want you stressed in your current condition.”

“She figured out something was wrong. Kara left.” Lena told her bitterly and wiped her nose.

“Oh Honey,” Lillian almost sounded sympathetic. It was nice, even though it was just a pretty lie. Her mother didn’t even know where to begin with empathy or sympathy, Lena knew that. “You know, perhaps this is a blessing. You did the right thing coming to me when you found out about the baby. Whether you like it or not Lena, that child is half-Kryptonian. The last child of a dying breed. The ones who are left would never allow you to raise your baby the way a child deserves to be raised… even Kara herself.” Lillian sniffed with a pretentious small laugh. “Either we rid this world of all of them or we face the consequences… and letting them take my grandchild? That is a consequence I am not prepared to risk.”

The words send a disgusted shiver down her spine, but Lena stands straighter and makes herself resolute. If only for her unborn child, an accidental blessing that never asked for any of this. She had to make the world a better place for them, and there was only eight months to cram all of that work into. “Kara will never get close to me now. Whatever the plan was, it’s well and truly ruined.” Lena sighed and pinched her nose.

“Now now, you underestimate your dear mother.” Lillian chuckled softly. “We have the alien register, and now we know where the President is going to be next month… right on our doorstep for a secret meeting. It’ll be the perfect opportunity to take her. Minimum security, minimum attention on the city. We’ll have the aliens off of the ground by Monday morning, your baby’s mother included. If you ask me that’s a pretty great custody agreement.”


	14. Chapter XIV

The heavens opened. 

It feels that way, torrential and monumental. Kara walked between parked cars and crossed the wet road with a small jog, finally reaching the other sidewalk she dipped inside the dank alley way beneath a shelter of steel staircase. She stood leaning against the garbage dump and blinked for a moment, rubbing her jaw and willing herself not to cry again. She should have known better. Superheros have to be more than. They have to be regal and cool and above the whims and desires for the things that drove the people below. That was the deal. That was the job. And so with clenched hands and a single grinding sob, she put a reluctant end to her breaking heart and leaned into the mossy bricks behind her. 

Alphas don’t cry — and that’s who she had to be now.

The buzzing in her pocket was secretly welcomed. She breathed a sigh of relief and imagined Lena’s name appearing on the screen, she’d answer and Lena would apologise and come clean — explain some small but forgivable reason for the lies. It would be dealt with. They would move on. She’d be allowed this one human tiny thing. The world would forget about the rules and let her have this one impossible and paper-thin Omega.

By the time she pulls the phone from her pocket, reality punches her in the heart and kicks her while she’s already down. Kara sighed and looked at her sister’s name on the screen, and for once, just once, she wished Alex would just disappear. Still, she braced herself and clicked the answer button — swallowed the truth that now would be the time for, ‘I told you so!’

Kara breathed in and reinforced herself. “Alex, now isn’t a great time. You were right about Lena and I’m not in the mood for—”

“Kara?” Maggie panicked over the end of the line with a low growl. Kara suddenly stiffened into the sound of urgency in the background, the grainy sound of a hospital P.A and the rushing wheels of a gurney.

“Where are you? Is Alex okay?” Kara asked calmly.

“St Mary’s Hospital. Meet me in the Emergency Room, right now Kara.”

…

There were seldom occasions Maggie prayed, though she knew God as well as any kicked out kid from a religious home could come to know them. God was an arbitrary concept, an entity unconcerned with right or wrong, God was just an idea to pour the impossible into. And in a barely lit hospital chapel with candles lit along the pulpit, she found herself on her knees with clasped hands whispering little threats to the heavens.

"I did what I was supposed to do," she bit her mouth and shook her head, "I gave my heart and I, I don't, I don't want to lose her. If she loses this baby, if we lose this baby, she won’t survive it." she choked back a violent sob, "I waited so many years with nothing but a modicum hope that I would find a girl like her… can you even imagine the anguish, the pain, the longing, the love? The fucking love of it?" she nearly retched into her sob.

The door to the prayer room was pushed open slowly, Maggie heard the creak. The pause. The hesitation. Slowly, she wiped her eyes and made herself resolute.

“How much of that did you hear?” Maggie hung her head.

“Enough.” Kara said quietly. “The doctors told me… she started bleeding?”

“She’s with the doctor now, I wanted to stay but she wouldn’t.” Maggie stopped and fought back the tears. “She didn’t want me there in case it was bad news. I think, I think she thinks if I’m there and it’s bad news… I’ll be disappointed in her.”

Kara’s hand slipped along the plains of her spine, it was reassuring, gentle, the work of a woman stood right in the thick of it too. She kept herself reserved, or at least trying. Maggie appreciated the gesture. 

“She knows,” Kara hesitated and removed the emotion in her voice. “She knows you could never be disappointed with her. She knows that.” She swallowed and flared her nostrils with the desire to cry… though she didn’t. 

Again, Maggie appreciated it.

The chapel was tiny and cramped. The hallways made for better brooding, and so that’s what they did. Pacing around the bellowing veins of the whitewashed hospital with coffees in hand, dragging along, muttering tiny words here and there. Time became a static enemy, it stood and refused to move, and the more they walked and the more they muttered, it only became more apparent.

Everything was perfect; that was all Maggie could swallow. One moment, they were in the kitchen, the next they were in bed, and then there was blood. Tiny little spots of it. It was an aching and heinously simple series of events — and somehow that made it all the more acidic and violent in Maggie’s head.

“Tell me something good.” Maggie mumbled and rubbed her forehead.

“What?” Kara spoke up beside her.

They dragged along the hallway for the third time, doubling back towards the reception. The whirring sounds of the hospital made for static noise, plentiful, empty, somehow both of those things simultaneously. Maggie found herself stuck within the in between. “I just need to hear something good, distract me?” She forced a half smile at her sister-in-law, one that was a plea for a change of conversation.

“Oh, well,” Kara moved her glasses and exhaled. “I wouldn’t know what to tell you.”

“Sure you do.” Maggie rolled her eyes and nudged her. “You got the girl after all.”

“Yeah, and what a girl she is.” Kara mumbled awkwardly. “The thing is Maggie…”

“Mrs Sawyer?” A nurse called behind them. Maggie whipped around, and Kara breathed a sigh of relief. “Would you like to follow me? Your wife is waiting.”

Was it so terrible to be grateful right now? Kara thought so. She swallowed it away and walked briskly, but not too fast at all given the circumstances. Maggie chose to run instead, which, of course she would. Kara wasn’t like that. Her fears, her deepest darkest fears, they were slow, elaborate, intrinsic; they were constant fractures in a panel of glass that worked and ebbed and shattered slowly. 

Alex would die one day. Maggie would die one day. Everyone she loved, everyone she knew, they would all melt away eventually, and she, mighty and forged of steel, would remain like a lone glacier — constant and unmeltable. It was a concept she tried not to think about too much these days, that horse had been flogged to death during the youth of her life. The nights spent suffocating under soft light blankets, crying and chewing and figuring out ways to not have to be the last one left. It took time but she figured life was a race, and while everybody around her was speeding towards a two-hundred metre finish line, she was in it for the marathon, the slow and constant walk over hills, valleys and miles. The brisk walk to Alex’s room was a lot like that, while Maggie tore through the corridors until her clattering footsteps became a distant thud, Kara made herself slow and human. She practiced over and over again in her head what she would say to Alex. 

I’m sorry. I wish I could fix this. I love you. This isn’t you fault. I wish I could fix this. I love you. I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault. This isn’t your fault. I love you. I wish I could fix this. Kara bit back the acid slowly creeping up her throat as the corner of the hallway was turned, mouthing each syllable with a silent tongue inside of her mouth.

This isn’t your fault.

I love you.

I am sorry.

I wish I could fix this.

This isn’t your fault.

Kara clenched her fists so hard the pale peach nail varnish turned to dust in her palm. It made her stop and draw a wavering breath through her nose, then a sharp exhale. The old clock face above the double doors past the reception hit the stroke of nine. That clock had probably been in this hospital since it opened, perhaps long enough to see newborn babies full of life whizz beneath its hands and come back a million ticks later, elderly and frail — their race finally spent.

That inanimate clock would never know its burden, and the envy made tiny tears boil into steam on her cheek.

The double doors were pushed open and the slow shuffle down the hallway continued. In her head, Kara again mulled over what she would say. Instinctively she pulled out the phone in her pocket and thumbed through her phone-book for one name in particular, by the time she remembered and realised what she was doing — Lena’s number was made dim with the click of her thumb and the phone placed back in her pocket.

She was on her own this time.

The sound of sobs rang quietly at the end of the hallway, they were a quiet kind of aching sniffle and Kara immediately recognised them amid the cacophony of every other whirring hospital noise. She adjusted herself accordingly, swallowing and fixing her purse. The door was pushed open slowly, reluctantly almost.

And there she was beneath the dim light, a faint shape curled up on the hospital bed stroking Maggie’s slack sobbing head.

“Kara do you mind waiting?” Alex wiped her cheek and said it quickly, too calm for the situation.

Kara froze and didn’t know what to do with herself. She understand the why, just not the how. In some small way this was Alex protecting her Alpha, an instinctive urge not to let anyone see Maggie vulnerable like this. Kara couldn’t fathom how she possessed the strength… but then again, Alex was always stronger than anybody gave her credit for. 

Always the protector. Always selfless.

“Kara, the door please?” Alex jarred her into motion, polite yet urgent.

Before she can apologise and make herself disappear, Maggie moves and sits herself up with a deep breath. She wiped her ears and waved a dismissal, “No it’s okay Kara’s family.” Maggie swallowed and nodded with a smile, “Kara it’s okay, please stay.” Maggie turned to her.

“You sure you’re okay?” Alex asked quietly with a smile and cupped her cheek. “Do you want to tell her or should I?”

Suddenly, Kara heard the hummingbird fast heartbeat emanating from Alex’s body and understood. There was two, beating in near-perfect rhythm. Kara’s entire body nearly collapsed in relief, and all she could do was draw in a breath that made the curtains pull from the window and steady herself against the wall.

“It’s a girl.” Maggie grinned teary-eyed and pushed a hand over Alex’s belly. “Safe and perfect and strong just like her mom.” Her voice became a wavering soft noise, full of joy and gratitude.

“You had me worried there.” Kara wept too and threw her purse on the chair. She clambered up on the bed beside Alex and nestled behind her, arm dragging around her waist until a hand settled around her belly. “I’m going to have a niece?” She bit a grin and felt the thrum of a baby.

“Looks like it Kiddo.” Maggie pushed her arm and bit her bottom lip. Her eyes moved to her Omega, full of pride. “You think she’s ready?”

“Are any of us?” Alex chuckled and bit back her excitement.

“And everything is okay right? The baby, you, it’s all okay?”

Alex arched her neck and peered over the ball of her shoulder at Kara with a soft reassuring smile. “Everything is okay, just some spotting—”

“She has to take things easy.” Maggie interjected with that steely gaze that assured, her wife would be under strict watch. “That’s what the doctor said, she has to take it easy for a few weeks and stay off active duty. Our star quarterback here is getting benched for the rest of the season, isn’t that right?” She patted her wife’s thigh.

“Desk duty. I’m taking a week off and then I’m paper-pushing for the next six months.” Alex wanted to roll her eyes as she shuffled on the bed.

“Oh man, that’s rough.” Kara empathised. “Still, not the worse thing that’s happened today.” She rubbed her sister’s arm.

“Kara I’m sorry,” Alex squeezed her hand. “The way I spoke to Lena…” She sighed and trailed off with regret.

“Alex don’t worry about that.”

“I’m not, I’m just… sorry, okay? I want you to know I’m going to put all of this to rest now. Lena is a part of the family, you love her and that is good enough for me. None of us are perfect. Some of us less perfect than others, granted…” She raised a hand. “However, I am going to be the perfect sister from now on, we’re going to have game night, and I am not going to interrogate your girlfriend, and maybe me and her can get to know each other a little better and find some things in common. I am going to make this work Kara for all of us. I promise you.”

This is the moment she should come clean and tell her, Kara knows that. It permeates through her thoughts like poison. The ache, the embarrassment, the need to know everything is going to be okay and this broken heart won’t always hurt the way it does right now. Instead Kara forces a smile and makes herself resolute in how she has to respond, because Alex cannot have stress right now, and ‘my girlfriend has a possible-villainous ulterior motive’ has stress written all over it.

“I’d like that, I’m sure she will too.” Kara nodded and swallowed the bitter pill.

“Soft little Alpha.” Maggie grinned and pushed her arm again. “We love you Kara, and whoever you love is okay by us… even if my soft little alpha is too good for anyone.” She murmured pridefully.

Kara forced a laugh and nodded, wondering how she would dig herself out of this one.

 

_[Difficult chapter, I know! But remember how we talked about endgame ships? Hold the faith! The road ahead is bumpy but I'm gonna give the lesbians everything they deserve.]_


	15. Chapter XV

Four days. Lena held out for four days, and, held out was the wrong word entirely. There was nothing to hold on to, nothing solid to anchor herself to, instead she endured the shapeless void of being without Kara. It felt that way at least, and for that she felt guilty and sorry simultaneously. It’s strange how absence makes you think about all the things you take for granted — it was a lesson Lena learned in the quiet moments between the hectic. The moments where she wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and hear that sugar-sweet voice commiserate with her.

But, endure she did.

The apartment was quiet when she came home. Of course it was, empty and restful without the whirlwind of a little alpha in the kitchen trying her hand at something new. Lena kicked off her shoes and allowed the soreness of her ankles to consume her for a moment, she rolled her neck and released a sigh.

She managed to keep a girlfriend for a day, a new personal record. It made her roll her eyes and laugh bitterly while she opened the fridge and stared at the half-empty bottle of wine. That was off the menu now, she reminded herself and reluctantly pulled the bottle from the shelf — emptying it down the kitchen sink.

“See,” she grumbled down at her barely bloated stomach. “I’m capable of doing some things right.” She sighed and let the bottle fall into the sink.

Of course this impossible situation would fall at her feet. Of course she wouldn’t have foresight to think about how Kryptonian DNA might respond to the morning after pill — or rather how it wouldn’t respond at all. But here she was, pregnant and stuck in the thick of it. Luckily for Lena, she was experienced in at least one of those things. Apparently motherhood was something that just happened, a set of skills that punch you right in the face the minute they shove that tiny bundle of fragility in your arms. Lena hoped that was the case at least, she was determined to be good at this. No matter how hard this was, no matter how many impossible decisions she had to make, this baby would be loved and protected.

She flicked the hallway light on and padded towards the bathroom, unzipping her dress and unclasping her bra along the brief journey. She’d pick them up off the floor later, right now, all she could think about was a hot bath. Well, that wasn’t strictly true, what she wanted most was the soft faraway alpha who was hers in all but the bite on her neck. But, that was off the table. 

A hot bath would have to suffice.

While the water ran, she took off the rest of her clothes, pulled her raven bun loose and stared in the lengthy mirror at her slim figure. Mirthless as she could be, she couldn’t help but stand sideways and push her belly out — imagining what it would look in months to come. How exactly she was going to explain her belly when it started to show… Lena hadn’t decided yet. That was tomorrow’s problem, today’s problem was her insufferable mother.

‘All will be well, we know where the President will be next month. That is all that matters.’ Lillian had told her at least four times today, reassuring herself more than Lena. ‘The end of all this trouble is so clear on the horizon — we must endure and persevere, Lena, for a better tomorrow.’ She said that at least six times, proudly.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t heed her mother on the last part, the end of all this trouble was so close on the horizon. Well, the start of the end at least. Lena slipped a hand over her belly and relaxed into the knowledge that as impossible as all of this was, it was temporary.

“You’re probably going to hate me one day,” Lena said mindlessly and brushed a thumb over her stomach. “You’ll figure out it was me who sent her away, and you’ll ask me how I could do such a terrible thing, and I don’t think I’ll have a good enough answer to satisfy you…” She shook her head and stewed in her thoughts. “But the thing is, I am your mother and you can hate me every day of your life… god knows I have…” She rolled her eyes and thought about Lillian, “but I will still always be your mother. I will still always love you, even on the days you hate me little one.” She nodded to herself.

The bath satiated her for a moment; the water was searing hot, that kind of heat that seeped right into her aching bones and relieved the tension for a little while at least. Her heat was coming in, or rather what was left of it. She’d made keen work of the pregnancy books she’d ordered online, the general consensus was that she would still have her regular heat, though more mild. Apparently taking any kind of preventative pill was off the table, though, if the little alien in her belly was resistant to the morning after pill what harm could hormone stabilisers do? Still, she wouldn’t leave it to chance. Good luck was hardly a frequency.

As she climbed out of the bath, two succinct knocks rang through the hollow apartment. It was a sharp sound that came from the grand windows in the sitting room, and even though Lena knew in her gut who it was, she wouldn’t let herself believe it. Instead, the building had grown sentience, that seemed far more likely than finding a sorely missed godlet on her balcony.

Between drying her legs and pulling her underwear back up her hips, two more knocks against the glass pane stung through the apartment. Another one as her hair was wrapped in the towel, two more as her silk dressing gown was pulled around the waist, by the time she calmly walked down the hallway to the source of the noise, it had became a constant rap against the glass.

And by the time she turns the corner, there she is in all her godlet glory, lips trembling and eyes furious.

“What?” Lena mouthed.

Kara furrowed her brows and crossed her arms, “Let me in.” She mouthed back.

Lena narrowed her eyebrows, “What do you want?”

“To come inside!” The garbled sound of a shout reached through the closed window with no problem at all.

“You can hear me from here.” Lena said it under her breath and tried to remain collected.

Arms were raised in exasperation and Lena watched her chew on the nothingness inside her mouth. Truth be told she wanted nothing more than to let her in, in fact, she’d go as far as pretending the last five days were nothing but a bad dream but pride got in the way of that, green and violent and thick as it is, and she can’t move past it. Maybe it’s the urge to protect Kara, maybe it’s that. Nonetheless she holds her ground while the monolith outside pretends that a flimsy sheet of glass is enough to separate them.

“I don’t like cursing, but so help me god, you better open this damn door before I take the side of this building off.” Kara growled and rolled her cream sweater up to her elbows.

Lena relented and opened the balcony door, she even did a half-impressive job at not seeming entirely relieved to finally have her in sight. She folded her arms around her waist and tried not to make eye-contact, desperate to make her antsy foot do something other than drum the marble floor.

In the glimpse she caught of Kara’s expression, it was probably for the best she didn’t stare into those soft blue eyes. They were a mixture of devastation and fury that would definitely be the undoing of her hard work, and so instead she trained her stare on the lampshade. It could do with dusting — she made a mental note of that.

“Tell me some of it was real.” Kara ached and blistered with the kind of tone that made Lena hurt. Kara swallowed and sucked her lips between her teeth, biting and chewing them. “I just… I just need to know that at least one moment of it was real and then I can go.” She rubbed the back of her neck.

Lena tempted the idea of lying to her for a moment. It crossed her mind at least. If she told her none of it was real, that this was all just some rouse, maybe then she’d be able to get far enough away not to get caught in the crossfires. It was futile because try as she might Lena cannot hide the aching of her broken heart. 

“Every second of it,” Lena stepped closer and stopped herself cupping Kara’s wet cheek. “Every moment of you and me was as real as it could ever possibly be. It would hurt less to let you go if I told myself otherwise, but making smart decisions has never been my strong suit.” She smiled sadly.

“Alex was in the hospital… and I thought, I thought she had lost the baby and I didn’t know what to do.” Kara’s knuckles clenched and the veins pulsed in her throat. She shook her head again. “And you were the person I wanted to call. It was you. You were the person I needed.” Kara softly sneered, because anger like this just wasn’t in her nature.

“I would have been there, Kara, at the drop of a phone call. I hope you know that much is true?” Lena dared to look her in the eyes.

“I couldn’t tell them the truth, that you‘re lying. I couldn’t do it.” Kara shook her head in exasperation.

Lena hung her’s in shame, “Because it would hurt them too, right?” She nodded along. It was an obvious answer, everyone who got close to her ended up hurting in the end… she had to fix that before the baby came. Mentally, it was put on the list, right after dusting the lampshade.

“Because my sister would have dragged herself out of that hospital bed and shot you, she probably would have mounted you on her living room wall.” Kara tossed a hand in the air and suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself.

“I guess I would deserve that, wouldn’t I?” Lena looked at her sadly.

“I guess you would.”

“I never lied about what you meant to me. I hope you know that, even if it makes it hurt all the more.”

“Tell me the truth?” Kara ached and stared at her with those sad blue eyes. “There is nothing that I won’t understand. Nothing that I wouldn’t do to help you if you’re in trouble. I can help you fix whatever it is that is going on… you don’t have to lie to me?”

“I miss you so much Kara.” Lena almost laughed a sad throttled sound, but then she felt it, the burning in her throat and the sting in her eyes. As much as it made it hurt all the more, like a scab slowly being peeled away, she pushed it all down into the bottom of her steely gut and made herself resolute. “I can’t give you the answers that you want, and I have no doubt that there may soon come a day when you and I have to stand on opposite ends of the battlefield, I know all of that, I know it and still I cannot stop loving you.”

The kiss was sweet and uncertain, it made her weak and soft, two things that she could not afford to be in this moment. Lena sank into the devastation of it and kissed Kara back as if it was the only possible course of action. Two slow moving hands slipped around the base of her spine, thumbs so gentle and purposeful, and the feeling of them reluctantly slipping away made her want to collapse.

“I so badly want to believe you’re on the right team.” Kara ached and stared hopefully.

“Stay.” Lena begged and dug her hands into the solidness of her collarbones. “Stay with me tonight and let me be on your team, even if it’s just for tonight.” She bit her plump bottom lip and rested her forehead into the bridge of her nose.

“Alright.” Kara whispered shamefully.

Two slow moving hands slipped around the base of Lena’s spine, two gentle thumbs pressing into the ridges of her back, so purposeful and gentle. Lena closed her eyes and kissed her again, and beneath that headiness, she etched the moment into her mind. She carved it into her lungs like a picture she could trace her fingers over during the loneliness of the weary road ahead, during the mornings that would be spent dry-heaving into a porcelain bowl, during the evenings she would gasp and awake — reaching for a warm body that wouldn’t be beside her. 

Lena made herself remember, aware that this too was temporary.

 


	16. Chapter XVI

She sat on Kara’s hips, thighs clenching into the tightness of her stomach, ankles locked around her ass. The hallway made for a brief journey, one filled with the kind of kisses that make Lena’s stomach roll and wash like the evening tide. Kara wasn’t particularly gentle or thoughtful, the burn of her want transcended those tender games. Lena didn’t mind, not when her spine was made to catch the doorframe, or the side of her thigh bumped the walnut chest of drawers. Kara jostled and wrangled and moved like a creature unconcerned with seeming human anymore.

She’s all the more beautiful to Lena because of it.

“Kara,” She blinked and wrapped a hand into her sweater as she was placed on the sheets. There was nothing that came naturally after, just that one whisper of her name. It made Kara hesitate.

The room is warm, that kind of warmth that sits on Lena’s shoulders and drips down her spine. Falling in love with Kara is like that, a sensation that started in one place, small and almost unnoticeable, before consuming the rest of her body — quite literally. Maybe that was what made her weak like this, being pregnant with her child. It leaves her antsy and reaching for an elbow, a shoulder, the small dip of her waist; just a tiny monument of Kara that she can anchor herself to.

“Stop.” Kara growls and nuzzles into her throat, quickly pinning hands above her head. “Don’t do that.” She almost aches.

“What?” Lena blinks again and breathes through the scalp pressing to her mouth.

“Touch me like you love me.”

“Oh,” Lena swallowed, entirely stuck. “Alright.” She said reluctantly.

She did love Kara. She wants to splutter on the headiness of the words trapped in her lungs, a dozen I Love Yous and at least several You Are The Queen Of My Universes by her own count, all begging to be hummed and echoed and pressed into different joints and muscles. The words jostle inside of her, oh they jostle like newborn hummingbirds, itching and stretching and fluttering around inside her ribs. She tames those words and buries them safely in her stomach, the safest part of her entire body, and then cranes with hands around the back of her godlet’s neck.

“Better.” Kara groaned and pushed herself between Lena’s legs.

It was rough and hot. Kara’s hands grip the hem of her silk dressing gown and pull it upwards along her milky white thighs until the material is left sitting around her belly. All the while Kara’s hips press between Lena’s slow moving legs, earning those deep hitched breaths that throttle Lena’s throat. They’re enough to have the Alpha above stiffening and resisting the urge to buck.

The sash is pulled open and the silk slips along the sides of her fast-moving ribs. Breasts arch up into the heaving of Kara’s chest, goosebumps slipping along the smoothness of Lena’s exposed belly.

Lena realised slowly just how darn in love she really was. Not kissing Kara is an impossibility, resisting the urge not to wrap her mouth into the sweetness of her kisses is pointless… and so she makes the kiss matter, makes it linger and roll and wrap and coax into the sweetness of Kara’s hesitant mouth—almost unsure of what to do with itself. Eventually Kara kissed her back, gasping and beyond the pretence of acting like she’s capable of resisting.

Suicidal insects hum around the brightness and warmth of the lights on the balcony outside.

And Lena empathises.

“Should we do this?” Kara pulled back and bit her bottom lip, conflicted. It was the aching expression that did it, that had Lena’s hands slipping around her cheeks and absolutely certain of invisible tears ghosting beneath her fingertips. 

It would be right to say no, Lena knows that, she knows it and yet still the words refuse her. Instead she’s nodding, she’s nodding and squeezing and shuddering on her breath. “Please.” She begs with that single word, her jaw opening and drawing a breath. “Maybe denying ourselves this doesn’t have to be our burden… maybe we’re allowed this one thing?” She tries to reason.

She’s met with hungry kisses and two hands that need to touch every bit of her. Kara is gentle, and it surprises her, if only because she knows she doesn’t deserve it. The insects hum and Lena realises how wrong she got it, because she is the light and Kara is the thing dancing perilously, dangerously, carelessly close to her.

“I love you and I need you to hear that, just once.” Kara growls with tears and drags her mouth between the apex of her breasts, her hot open mouth slipping along each soft pink nipple.

“This is temporary.” Lena gasps and nods, resolute and undone simultaneously. “I’m going to fix it Kara, you don’t understand yet but you will. I promise you.” She whispers and smiles to herself.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” Kara shook her head pressed her nose above Lena’s belly button. It made Lena clench nervously, and Kara heard the fastening of her heartbeat and tasted something in the air, something she couldn’t fix her tongue on. It made her forget what she was saying, “Lena?” Kara asked dumbly, “There’s something different?”

Lena panicked. “I’m just… coming into heat.” Her nostrils flared with the quick lie.

“You’re lying.” Kara grimaced and began to pull away, defeated.

Lena doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to make this make sense in words that she can use. Instead she grabs at her Alpha’s wrists and pulls her back down, and she knows it’s only because Kara is willing to be brought down on top of her. That encourages her. 

“I’m coming into heat.” Lena nods again and licks her lips, “Let it be just that, please, what’s one more secret between us?” She shook her head a little and exhaled with exasperation.

Kara pulled Lena’s thighs up around the sides of her waist and set teeth gently into her shoulder, right over her pulse point. She can taste the deceit, it comes to her between the lines of her fluttering pulse. She wishes it didn’t taste delicious, then again that’s Lena at her core—delicious and smouldering. She is beautiful like this, splayed and pulling at the flimsy soft cardigan until Kara’s sinewed shoulders are freed.

Without her rut, Kara is without the kind of equipment necessary to satiate the Omega beneath her. She knows that, and it doesn’t stop her. She rips off her own clothes and settles back between her thighs, abs resting into Lena’s belly. One elbow supports her weight, the other hand slips up Lena’s ribs and makes a move for her perfect tits. It earns a groan, a whimper, a tiny submissive noise that Kara could listen to all day.

“Such a good girl,” Kara pushed her thumb between Lena’s lips and found herself saying the words without prompt. It makes her stomach roll with desire, the way Lena’s plump lips separate around her thumb and her bottom teeth submit against the pressure and open a little further. 

Kara growls and takes her thumb away, replacing it with her ring and middle finger. She pushed inside and pressed down on Lena’s tongue, felt the vibration of her whimper jostle through her fingertips and slip between her own thighs. Lena’s teeth and lips rest on her knuckles and the sight is enough to make her growl again. The air caressed her naked spine as she arched over the Omega beneath her.

She made quite the roof, Lena decides breathlessly as she looked up at the narrowing soft blue eyes that had only her in their sight. Fingers were suddenly inside of her, two of them working through her thin wetness without warning or premeditation. It makes her cry out and bite into Kara’s fingers, though, the godlet above her didn’t mind. Lena watches the smirk spread into her cheeks.

“Good girl.” The words are crooned at her again, and Lena melts into them helplessly. “Out there?” Kara nods to the door, “You’re anything but. But in here? You just be my good girl okay?”

The words stung but Lena accepts them gladly, weakened and desperate and clenching around the two fingers that tease the reset button inside of her. It feels that way, as if there’s a spot behind her clit that sends her mindless and blank, and Kara rubs and teases against it effortlessly.

A mouth wraps around her aching clit and Lena cries out, palming the sheets and curling her toes. Two fingers push inside her mouth again, pressing down on her tongue and along the inside of her teeth, they taste sweet and slick. It dawns on her suddenly and arouses her all the more. She bites, softly at first, nibbling and resting her teeth between each guttural moan as her clit and vulva is softly swiped and tentatively sucked.

By the time Kara pulls her entire cunt inside the heat and softness of her mouth, Lena is conceptual at best. She’s a puddle. A poor excuse for a woman. She writhes and cries and lifts her hips into the attention given to her by the gentle grace of Kara’s soft heart.

“Can I… Can I come?” She stutters out and arches up to look at those two narrowing blue eyes.

Slowly, Kara nods, sucking just a little harder.

Lena slumps backward as if she were boneless, her pants now frantic and disjointed against each deep pull against her most sensitive muscle. When she cums, when the soft light of the room turns into a distant glow and the shivers run down her spine into her toes, Kara’s hands are right there around her waist. It’s the best feeling in the world, being tethered and held and kept like that. It makes her feel protected, and for a moment she is exactly that, she and her baby are safe in the hands of a girl forged of diamonds and space.

Between that and the god given orgasm, she drifts asleep.

 

…

 

Kara didn’t mean to fall asleep too, she told herself that as she closed the door quietly behind herself and left Lena warm and still dozing in bed. It was just after seven, which by anyone else’s standards was early in the morning. Not J’onn though. Just after seven was just after late, and just after late was unforgivable, today at least. Today was a mandatory conference call meeting with the president and her chief of staff, and without Alex around, the responsibility of being the perfect Danvers sister fell down to her.

Kara wasted no time taking flight, the skyline burned orange with the promise of sunrise. It was peaceful almost, she took great pleasure in that natural quietness of the city on the brink of awakeness, used it to process through last night.

Lena came, Lena fell asleep, and somehow, somehow she ended up folding the sheets over her soft naked body and drifting asleep beside her. Between Southside and the DEO, that was all she managed to process through. There was something inexplicably different about Lena, about the way she moved and tasted and smelled, and that was unprocessable to the Kryptonian. Well, in the two minutes she had between the apartment and the office at least.

“You’re late.” J’onn was already stood on the balcony, arms crossed and grimacing.

“Did I mention how sorry I am about that?”

“Did I mention how much I don’t have the time to care?” J’onn ushered her inside and headed straight to the meeting room. “The President is on line 1. I’ll leave it to you to explain to the leader of the free world what was so pressing this morning that you kept her waiting on your account.”

“Nice.” Kara let out an exasperated sigh and crossed forearms over her emblem.

The boardroom was filled and not a single space was occupied by her sympathetic sister, which made it all the more worse. There on the screen the president sat in the Oval Office, two flags draped behind the seat and forearms resting against the desk.

“Supergirl.” She forced a curt smile, “So glad you could join us.”

The president was a soft spoken warming, in fact, everything was soft about her. She had deep brown eyes and dark skin that was without a single wrinkle, she was likeable, of course she was likeable, Kara thought. She managed to win an election after all. Still, nonetheless, she looked annoyed, and now Kara had that to add to her resume. Pissing off the leader of the free world.

“Madame President, I’m so sorry, there was… an emergency.” Kara said quickly.

“Ah yes,” The President nodded and softened, “By all means, when there’s kittens to rescue and old ladies to cross the street, someone must answer the call.” She earned a polite laugh from everyone in the room. “Lest I hold National City’s resident hero here for too long, would you like to go first Supergirl with this week’s detailing?”

“Actually Madame President,” Kara licked her lips and paused. “I have a safety concern I’d like to raise about your visit next month—”

“Kara what the hell are you doing?” J’onn glared across the room.

“Information about your arrival has leaked. I was made informed by an anonymous source that your secret visit to discuss the data leak findings isn’t so secret…” Kara blurted and rubbed her head. “It might be wise to rearrange, Ma’am.”

“J’onn, do you know anything about this?” The President looked over at him.

“No.” He said angrily, still glaring at Kara. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“Supergirl,” The President’s eyes moved across the room and landed on hers. “Would you care to share this anonymous source?”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Ma’am, I’m.” Kara paused and chewed on her jaw for a second, she hated lying, but somewhere deep down, apparently protecting Lena was more important than protecting the country. “I’m afraid I don’t know myself who this source was, they were masked.”

“And did they tell you anything about where this leak came from, who the rat is among our midsts, so to speak?” The President raised a brow.

“I’m afraid she didn’t, Ma’am.” Kara answered sheepishly.

“Well.” The President sat up and adjusted herself. “Given the gravitas of the situation, it’s imperative that I come to the DEO in person to chair this meeting. I have to assume that if you cannot, or rather will not, give up your sources Supergirl, that your information isn’t credible.” She said sternly. “The security of our nation is at stake and I will not sit by idly while our intelligence is unsafe. I expect you all to carry on as normal, and have the findings of your investigation ready for next month.”

“Trouble.” J’onn mouthed at her across the room with furious eyes. “You are in so much trouble.”

Kara slumped in defeat and held her nervousness well. She should have came clean about the information earlier, she knew that, but Alex was in hospital and then Lena… Lena was impossible and there and a mind-numbingly easy decision to make. Suddenly, it dawned on her that J’onn was capable of reading her mind. Lena was quickly tucked away into the depths of her belly for her own protection, kept right there beyond thought and reason.

And so the meeting droned on.

[[If you enjoy this story check me out HERE where you can find updates ahead of the curve along with exclusives.]](http://theevangelion.tumblr.com)


	17. Chapter XVII

Alex tapped away on the keyboard, pretending to be interested in the five administration tasks she had running simultaneously today inside HQ. That was half the workload over the last week, seeming like she was in the slightest bit enthralled in her job now. She scrolled back up to the top of the page with a mug of green tea in the other hand and made herself re-read the report again, sighing as she did. This particular report did hold at least some interest; it was the paperwork concerning the mysterious veiled woman who supplied Kara with the leaked information about the Presidential visit next month.

“Damn it Kara,” Alex groaned and leaned back, rubbing her forehead as she re-read her sister’s statement. “Always such a terrible liar,” she mumbled and highlighted one comment in particular:

‘I cannot be sure if this woman was human or alien. Her clothing was impenetrable to my vision and auditory powers.’

Alex even went so far as to underline it on the screen and turn it red—just to be sure it stood out against the sea of black serif font. Unless this woman was cloaked in lead, Kara was lying, presumably for a damn good reason too.

“I see you’re still occupied with the information report from last week.” J’onn appeared over her shoulder and set down another mug of green tea. Alex forced a grimacing smile at the gesture, if she drank anymore of this crap Mr Wong would owe J’onn shares in the herbal remedy store down by twenty-eighth.

Still, the green and black teas, the grounded powders, the fix-all-your-ailment chilli peppers were just the way J’onn showed he cared. It was appreciated; if not tolerated at times.

“I take it you know as well as I do that something isn’t right here.” Alex asked him knowingly, swallowing the dregs of her last mug.

“Kara Danvers? Reporter? Kryptonian? Unsure which direction this mysterious woman fled?” J’onn crossed his arms and raised a brow. “Let’s say I’m skeptical.”

“I just don’t know what’s gotten into her lately. Kara would never let someone with that kind of information just… get away!” Alex scratched her head and leaned back. “Sometimes I wish you could just read her mind and fill me in on the blanks, J’onn.”

“Unethical as that would be, I can’t say I don’t empathise.” He agreed and sat down. “How are you doing Alex? As a rule of practice I don’t telepathically read my colleagues but it’s pretty clear something’s on your mind.”

“You got all of that from the thirty seconds we’ve been talking?”

“No, I got that from the three days you’ve been pounding the keyboard like you're interrogating a fugitive.”

Alex groaned a long moan and sank her shoulders. “This just isn’t me! I don’t understand why I can’t at least work in the lab J’onn!”

“Be thankful I’m not keeping you on mandatory maternity leave. If it wasn’t for your sister’s impassioned speech about equality for women in the workplace I would be less inclined to even have you on desk duty.”

“I guess Kara does come through more often than not.” Alex smirked briefly and turned in the chair, still exasperated beneath the charade. “I just can’t help but feel like there’s something she’s not saying, and that isn’t like Kara. I didn’t even know she was capable of keeping a secret from me and yet every time I look at her it’s like she has the world on her shoulders!” She groaned and scratched her head.

“Well, I suppose she’s going through some changes. It can’t be easy discovering this new stage of her life.”

“Oh come on! She’s an Alpha. It’s fine! We’re all fine about it! Sure, we got off to a rocky start but that was our mistake, not hers.” Alex grumbled.

“I was referring to Lena Luthor, this is the first time Kara has been in love after all. It can be confusing when you’re caught between your work and personal life.”

“Wait. Say that again.” Alex suddenly realised something, sitting upright in the swivel chair.

“Kara’s torn between her work and personal life, isn’t that obvious?” J’onn furrowed his eyebrow.

“J’onn, if I wasn’t married and pregnant I would kiss you right now. You’re a genius.” Alex scrolled back through the report on the screen, wide-eyed and aware.

“Alex, why do you look as if you’re about to get into trouble?”

“Because I am.” She stood up and pulled her jacket on, then leaned down for her purse and keys. “Thanks for the green tea J’onn, I’m taking my lunch break early. I’ll be back in an hour,” Alex looked over her shoulder, “If Kara asks where I am tell her I’m doing something acceptable like prenatal breathing classes or something.”

“Where are you going?” J’onn rose from his chair too with a disapproving expression etched into his face.

“I’m paying Lena a visit.” Alex told him firmly and began the walk to the elevator with J’onn in quick pursuit. “Kara’s been at my place every night this week like a sad puppy that’s been kicked in the face. Apparently Lena’s always working late, something to do with a big proposal for a buyout. It’s bullshit, it has to be.”

“This is exactly the kind of meddling that gets you into trouble Alex Danvers.”

“What do you think I’m going to do?” Alex stopped and stared at him, offended. “Don’t you see how brilliant my plan is? Kara and Lena have hit a roadblock in their relationship, isn’t it obvious? And I, the prodigal and newly-selfless sister, am going to fix it and get Kara back to her usual self. No problems with Lena, no problems with work. That’s exactly what you said.”

“That is not what I said!” J’onn raised his voice as Alex stepped into the elevator.

“What trouble could I possibly get into? I’m just going to invite Lena for dinner. Quit being a baby!”

The doors closed and the elevator whirred. J’onn stood there exasperated and fuming, completely stuck in yet another Danvers’ family quibble. Furious as he was, J’onn couldn’t help but roll his eyes and concede. Whatever was happening with Kara this last week, her relationship with Lena Luthor was absolutely at the center of it. It didn’t take the ability to read minds to see that Kara was conflicted, and though he’s old enough to know better, J’onn turned on his heels all the same and marched in the other direction towards his office.

“One hour.” He bristled at his watch and shook his head.

…

The ten minute walk from HQ to the L-Corp building made for a breath of fresh air. Even the light reception area and glass elevator made for a nice change of pace. Alex sighed and couldn’t help but wonder whether this was a genuine change for the better.

Before, the thought of crossing paths with Lena left her brooding and insufferable. It wasn’t like her and Lena were suddenly best friends, but, Kara loved her and maybe that was enough. It was still far from a pleasant feeling, but the elevator ride to the top floor wasn’t spent fiddling with her service weapon. Progress, slight but evident.

The secretary by Lena’s office physically sank at the sight of Alex as she stepped out into the hallway. Alex just smiled and strolled right over, a tactical effort to seem as least threatening as possible.

“Alex Danvers for Miss Luthor.” She said politely.

“Oh, Miss Danvers I don’t believe Lena was expecting you today.” The receptionist gulped and quickly tapped her keyboard.

Alex wondered for a moment if there was a protocol for this. Did Lena brief her employees on what to do in the event she just showed up at her office? Was the secretary firing an email to some clandestine security service? Maybe, but unlikely.

The receptionist double clicked the mouse and scanned the screen with her eyes. “I’m just checking her calendar and it looks like she’s in a meeting, I’m afraid it’s not a good time.” She exaggerated a frown.

Alex held her smile, folding her coat over her arm. “That’s no problem. I’ll go ahead and wait in her office.”

“It’s an all day meeting, Miss Danvers!” The secretary quickly shot out of her chair and chased after Alex in tottering heels that clicked the marble.

“She’ll have to eat lunch at some point.” Alex shrugged and pushed the glass door open. Low and behold, Lena was sat at her desk with her glasses pushed half way up the bridge of her nose, shrivelling and embarrassed. “Would you look at that!” Alex turned over her shoulder to the secretary with a scowl, briefly pointing at Lena. “Looks like she took her lunch break early! How convenient!”

“I’m so sorry Miss Luthor, I tried to tell her you were in a meeting but-”

“Don’t worry Ashley, you can get back to what you were doing.” Lena stood up and dusted herself down, forcing a curt smile. “Anytime Alex wants to drop by unannounced, make sure she’s made comfortable and get me immediately.” She made her voice polite and firm. Alex admired the restraint. “Would you like a seat? Something to eat? You look glowing.” Lena smiled and walked around her desk.

“Thanks, four months and counting.” She patted her round tummy, “You don’t have to worry by the way. I haven’t came for anything bad.” Alex reassured awkwardly. Lena nodded and yet still seemed on edge. Alex pushed the feeling down and continued, “I was hoping actually that you would join us for dinner tonight? I know you’ve been working late a lot but I think it would be a nice surprise for Kara. That girl misses you something crazy.” Alex chuckled and bit the inside of her lip.

“Oh,” Lena blinked in surprise. “Of course, I mean, Kara and I are a couple. A monogamous couple who do couple things together and eating dinner with her family constitutes…” Lena exhaled and seemed reluctant.

“I know you and I got off to a rocky start, and I know I am responsible for that.” Alex scratched the back of her neck and stood a little straighter. Conceding like this was physically painful.. “It’s just Kara has been a little… forgetful at work. In fact, absent-minded would be close to the right word. And I’m not blaming you!” Alex was quick to add. “Definitely absolutely not blaming you Lena. But I can’t help but think she would feel a lot better if she got to spend some time with you. I mean, you’re her girlfriend after all!” Alex forced a small laugh.

“I am!” Lena forced a small laugh too. “Definitely her girlfriend, I mean.” She swallowed awkwardly.

“So what do you say? Pizza and beer?”

“Oh, I’m not drinking right now. I’m doing this detox thing.” Lena explained.

“Great, I’m not drinking either. All the more for them. What do you say?” Alex persisted.

“Okay okay! You’ve talked me into it.” Lena said politely. “I’m trying to eat a little healthier at the moment. Is that okay? I don’t want to be a difficult dinner guest...”

She is already a difficult dinner guest, Alex bristled internally. On the outside she was all smiles though. She reached into her pocket for her phone, clicking the Google homepage. “There’s this new vegan spot Maggie keeps pestering me to try, we could get pizza from there? If I could find the damn menu that is.” Alex groaned and clicked the web page again. No signal.

“Yeah sorry about that, the building is a Faraday cage.” Lena explained. “No signal in or out unless it’s on a secure business machine. Just a precaution. We wouldn’t want any leaks like you guys!” She laughed and then stopped, quickly burning crimson with embarrassment. “Oh god, too soon for that joke? I’m so sorry Alex.”

“No no, you’re fine.” Alex waved it off and blistered internally.

“I just need to see Simon next door and let him know I’m not around tonight. Make yourself comfortable? I’ll walk with you back to the DEO and we can get menus?”

“Sounds like fun!” Alex beamed, entirely dying inside at how uncomfortable all of this was.

Lena grabbed her jacket and walked out of the door. As she passed, Alex couldn’t help but notice how immaculate she looked. She had wondered whether it was a tactical thing she did for Kara, but nope, apparently she always looked a million dollars. It made Alex feel better knowing half of it was wealth. There wasn’t a occasion she had seen Lena dressed in anything off the rack. Her purse and shoes on any given day were probably worth more than her 401K. Today she was wearing black patent leather high heels—Louboutins if the red soles were anything to go by.

Alex noticed Lena’s ankles were swollen and fat as she walked out of the door and it made her bite a grin.

Nobody should be allowed to be completely perfect.

Pointlessly, she looked to her phone screen again and clicked the refresh button. Alex wasn’t sure for a moment where the restaurant was, or if they even did take out. Whenever Maggie talked about fine vegan dining she tended to zone out to a place in her mind where the ribs were endless and the brisket was always smoked. Alex groaned when the phone refused to work and stomped around the desk, sitting in Lena’s chair.

‘Awful vegan food in National City that will keep my Alpha quiet and happy.’

No results.

‘Vegan food to eat over an uncomfortable silence with your sister’s Omega in National City.’

No results.

‘Tofu for the woman who has everything.’

A thousand results. None relevant.

‘Vegan takeout National City.’

Three results. Bingo.

Alex clicked the results and narrowed it down through a process of deduction. The new place Maggie wanted to try was only a half mile away, close enough not to have to spend any more time with Lena than what was necessary but far enough away that she could successfully be the dutiful sister and take a stroll over there with Lena, fat ankles and all.

She clicked the X in the corner of the browser and Lena’s emails promptly appeared on the screen. In the last ten minutes there had been fifteen new arrivals to her inbox—and Alex thought her own email account was under attack now she was on desk duty. This was something else. Sneakily, she gazed over the emails. It was out of curiosity more than anything. It all seemed fairly boring and run of the mill, a city ordinance update here, an invite to a charity gala there. She scrolled through quickly until her eyes caught something unusual. It made her stop in her tracks and scroll back up.

 

**Subject: Excellent News!**

**Sender: Mother Dearest**

 

Alex felt her blood run cold. She clicked the email chain and began to read.

 

 

_Original message, sent four days ago:_

Mom,

Please stop calling my personal line. I saw Kara on Tuesday and I can’t risk any more hiccups right now. I’ve doubled the security on the business servers, the emails are now secure so I expect if there’s anything you need you can safely reach me via here.

I don’t have any more information on the Presidential visit. All we know is that Kara and Alex Danvers will be there and Secret Service security will be at a minimum as not to draw attention to the President’s presence. I trust you’ll be on site personally to oversee the capture.

Best wishes,

Lena

Chief Executive Officer

———————————

_Reply, sent six minutes ago:_

Lena,

I’m glad to see you’re taking things a little more seriously. You assume correctly, I’ll be there to make sure everything goes smoothly with the President.

The plan remains the same. With the President in our hands, her fingerprint will be enough to override the missile network. Now that we have the alien registry, we can efficiently coordinate their exile from Earth.

Regards,

Lillian

 

 

“Shit.” Alex whispered to herself and leaned back.

“Alex?” Lena suddenly appeared with a smile, out of breath from the speedy walk back to her office. “Sorry about that! Simon can be a real chatterbox...wait what are you doing on my computer?” Her expression suddenly became serious and confused.

Alex grabbed her service weapon and aimed for her chest. “Close the door quietly and sit down, right there.” She growled and nodded towards the chair opposite the desk. “Make one move and I will put a charge through your chest.”

“Is it set to stun or kill?” Lena gulped with her palms raised and edged towards the door slowly, just as she was instructed.

“Do you want to find out?” Alex sneered and trailed her with the weapon.

The door was closed gently and the blinds pulled across. Lena was sweating, her breathing jagged and nervous. That in combination with her swollen ankles made her suddenly human. On any other day it would be enough to make Alex gloat.

“Alex I will explain everything just please put the gun down-”

“You used my sister Lena.” Alex shook her head with a hiss at how terrible an idea that was. “And the only thing stopping me from killing you right now is the paperwork I’ll have to fill in when I get back to the office so I suggest you shut the fuck up and sit down.”

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	18. Chapter XVIII

The proton gun was pointed at her without a single flicker of hesitation in Alex’s expression. Lena sat there, hands raised, gulping into the cool stare of a woman who was looking for a good enough reason to fire.

“You’re planning on kidnapping the President, why? You really think any executive order she gave under duress would hold?” Alex raised a brow and kept her aim.

“Her fingerprints.” Lena licked her lips nervously, “My mother has the alien registry, she has the means to begin the exile of every alien life form on earth. The President gives her the leverage to do it. Please, Alex, listen to me for a moment. This isn’t what you think-”

“I am trying not to shoot you in the face.” Alex growled and Lena grew quiet. “What do you mean the President gives her leverage? You think the government would agree to your hostage demands? They don’t negotiate with terrorists, or Luthors. If I had been thinking clearly I probably would have realised those two words are interchangeable!” Alex sneered.

“You’re not understanding.” Lena rubbed her face in frustration, “The President isn’t the leverage, her fingerprints are. Her DNA is capable of overriding the security network in the event of a nuclear crisis. Her fingerprints and biometric data are enough to launch the arsenal of the United States. Unless the government agrees and begins the exile… my mother will start a nuclear war with the east.”

Lena watched Alex clench into the implication of her words. She was aware she wasn’t making much of a case for herself on the not being shot in the face front, but lying to save face really wasn’t her strong suit—despite what others may think.

“Motherfucker.” Alex whispered and grew slightly ashen.

“Alex, please listen to me, I am on the right side. This is not what you think it is!” The gun was pulled higher and Lena watched Alex posture her shoulders with her aim. Sweat glazed Lena’s spine and her stomach began to somersault, absolutely certain she was about to be shot. “Alex I’m pregnant!” She blurted and raised her hands again, “It’s Kara’s! I am pregnant with Kara’s baby! Please put the gun down!” Lena panicked and held up her hands.

“You’re lying!” Alex sneered.

“Look in the drawer, there’s a scan picture, I am not lying to you!” Lena continued and leaned forward, “Please just look, I am telling you the truth and I can explain everything. I swear it to you.”

Alex paused and thought for a moment, her eyes moving down Lena’s body towards her ankles. It confused Lena for a moment, but sure enough Alex exhaled sharply. “If you move I will shoot you Lena.” She growled and kept her eyes fixed, her other hand slowly opening the drawer and feeling around.

“It’s underneath my files at the back in a plastic wallet.” Lena breathed coolly and kept her hands fixed in the air.

She watched Alex feel around and felt the sweat cool on her spine. There was a wriggle in her stomach, probably just nerves, but nonetheless she imagined the tiny life growing inside of her and cringed at this. Here she was sat in front of the aunt of her unborn child… at gunpoint. It wasn’t going to make for a warm story.

She watched Alex’s expression flinch into regret as the scan was felt beneath her fingertips. Lena imagined it was regret born solely from the concept of her little sister ever loving someone like her, ever being stupid enough to bring a tiny life into this world with a Luthor. That’s how Alex saw her, that’s how everyone saw her, just another rotten apple from a rotten tree. Lena was aware the situation didn’t exactly help. It was pretty damning evidence.

Slowly, Alex lifted the scan out of the drawer and brought it up to her line of sight. An eye fixed on the picture and the other staring down the barrel of her gun. Lena gulped and waited, watching the anger and confusion melt over Alex’s expression.

“Talk now, and talk fast.” Alex set it down on the desk.

“I am on the right team, Alex.” Lena began and swallowed, her voice shaking with nerves. “The minute I found out I knew I had to do something about my mother. While she is free Kara and this baby will always be in danger. To her, they’re aliens. They are the enemy. So I told Mother Dearest that I was pregnant, came up with this big story of how now I was bringing a child into the world I finally understood the better world she was trying to achieve.” Lena sneered on the very concept of it, ashamed with herself for thinking this could ever work. “If I can bring her down, Cadmus will fall too. I know it Alex. It’s the only way to keep Kara and this baby safe.”

“Convenient story, if any of that was true why wouldn’t you tell someone? Why wouldn’t you tell Kara you’re pregnant and let us help?” Alex prodded angrily, the gun thoughtlessly lowered slightly. Lena took it as a sign of progress.

“You think my mother isn’t suspicious? This had to be real. She has to think that my intentions are honest because the minute she suspects otherwise, the chance is gone forever. I had to do things I’m not proud of, namely hacking into the DEO servers to access the alien registry. Which by the way, you can thank me for giving you all the anonymous tip offs in the first place. I’ve been trying to keep you all on your toes so you knew something was going on.” Lena sat straighter and stared with earnest eyes. “Besides, do you really think Kara would let me try and deal with this if she knew I was pregnant? No. I can’t put this on her shoulders. She never asked for this and I am not asking for her to give up her life for something she never wanted in the first place!” She grew more frustrated at the finer details of the situation. 

It dawned on her quickly that the woman pointing a gun at her probably wasn’t the best ear to vent too, and so Lena settled and calmed down. 

Alex listened intently and clenched her jaw in realisation that maybe she was telling the truth. “If I believed what you’re saying right now—which by the way, I’m not!—what would be the endgame?” Alex said curiously.

“The President and her head of security are the only other people aware of the plan. She knows she’s walking into a trap. The plan is to let my mother think she’s kidnapped The President, allow her to incriminate herself, and have the Secret Service and the DEO pull the President out when the time is right. I was going to tip you off in time to come, you would have pieced it together. No one would have known of my involvement, and my mother would be dealt with quickly, quietly, and out of the press. That was the deal.” Lena exhaled and dared to cross her legs, which didn’t seem to merit the gun instinctively being lifted in her direction. Progress.

“And if we were to verify this with the President?” Alex raised a brow.

“She would deny all knowledge. This is strictly off the books, nobody is to know about this Alex. We’re handing the President of the United States to a radical terrorist cell. The Republicans would keep the Senate, the House and the Presidency for the next hundred years if we get this wrong.” Lena gulped.

“You’re telling the truth.” Alex sighed in frustration and seemed almost disappointed that Lena wasn’t evil. She pushed the gun down the back of her waistband, her bump pushing out with the movement. “Kara told the President last week that information about her visit had leaked. The President went against protocol and made it clear she was still attending the visit.” Alex frowned.

“And why do you seem sad that I am telling the truth?” Lena gnashed and blinked in disbelief.

“I was really hoping I would get to shoot you today.”

“Marvellous.”

“You’re hardly my favourite person in the world Lena, no love lost there.”

“So what happens now?” Lena finally let her hands fall down to her sides, her elbows sore and stiff. “You just walk out of here and what? You know you cannot tell anyone about this Alex. If my mother catches a whiff that something is wrong, it’s not going to be pretty for any of us.” She shivered at the thought.

“You think I’m not going to tell my sister she’s expecting a baby?!” Alex growled in disbelief.

“And what will happen if you do? Kara will be in danger and the plan will be ruined. You know she will not let me put myself in danger if she knew…” she trailed off and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Kara cannot know, Alex.”

“You’re right about one thing, she definitely wouldn’t let this go ahead if she knows the truth.” Alex flopped down in Lena’s office chair, her expression momentarily surprised with how comfortable the chair was. She leaned back and rubbed her belly. “Congratulations, you woke the baby by the way.” She winced into the reflux moving up her chest.

“Congratulations, you nearly put a proton beam through mine!” Lena bit back. “I cannot believe I’m saying this Alex… but we have to be in this together now. You need the access I have to my mother, and I need your resources at the DEO to pull the President and I out of there when it starts to get hairy.”

Alex stopped and blinked, the realisation dawning on her. “Jesus Christ.” She rubbed her eyes and bristled to herself. “No! I am not doing this! This goes against every protocol in the book! I am not going into partnership with Lena Luthor!” She reeled it off angrily at herself behind her hands.

Lena just crossed her arms and narrowed her green eyes into sea-storms. “Alex make no mistake, if you go by the book on this one my mother will find out about this plan. First, she’ll kill me and this baby, and then she’ll come for your sister and kill her too, and when she’s done with that, then she’ll go for the main prize: the alien holocaust. My mother is not the kind of woman you want lurking in the shadows. Not when we have the chance to put her away where she cannot hurt anyone you care about.”

“You’re right about one thing, my sister would never let you go through with this if she knew you were pregnant.” Alex rubbed her head and looked off in thought for a moment, “Fuck! I came over here to invite you for fucking dinner and now I’m involved in this?! You are uninvited from the baby shower Lena! I mean, it’s not like I really wanted you there anyway but that is besides the point!” Alex sneered across the desk and rubbed her neck.

“Oh, my bleeding heart!” Lena sassed and narrowed her eyes. “You  can’t tell me that you don’t know what it’s like… people treating you like you’re an invalid because you’re pregnant.”

Alex rolled her eyes and nodded, “Don’t even talk to me about that. I’m on desk duty. Apparently visiting you and trying to fix your relationship with my sister is more important than investigating my sister’s reports, which now suddenly make way more sense now I know her girlfriend was leaking information to her.” Alex rubbed her head.

“About that…” Lena sighed.

“What?!” Alex snapped and looked up. “More secrets I don’t know about?!”

“Kara and I aren’t in a relationship anymore. She’s been hiding it from you because she didn’t want you to worry and so she’s been pretending for the last two weeks that we’re still together. It’s all very convoluted. We broke up because she thinks I’m evil, it tends to be a card that comes up a lot for me.” Lena waved it off.

“So let’s say I’m on board with this plan, which I’m not saying that at all by the way, but if I was, I now have to pretend that I don’t know that you two aren’t really together while you pretend to be together for my supposed benefit? On top of that, I have to help you bring down a radical terrorist cell that only you, I and the President of the United States know about. I also have to make a tiny human being simultaneously and not tell my wife any of this, who by the way, is going to be very, very, very mad when she finds out we’re not eating vegan pizza tonight like I promised we would!” Alex rushed with glaring eyes.

“What’s Maggie mad about and why are you shouting at Lena?” Kara opened the door with furrowed brows, eyeing them both in confusion. “Sorry for just barging in like this but you’ve been gone for an hour and a half and J’onn told me you came over here on a mission to try and fix something?” She looked between them both.

Lena just melted and felt the sweat drip again. She looked at Alex, opening and closing her mouth simultaneously as she tried to find a suitable answer. She was not sure that Alex wasn’t about to expose everything either. She felt the niggles in her belly again, and this time there was no uncertainty that it was stress related.

“Lena won’t eat any of the suggestions I’m making!” Alex blurted and pretended to be furious about it. “I came over here to invite her for dinner so you two lovebirds could spend some time together and she keeps shooting down all my ideas!”

“Oh Alex!” Kara waved it off and laughed awkwardly. “Lena is so busy, I’m sure she can’t do dinner tonight, right honey?” Kara looked at her expectantly.

Lena realised how well and truly stuck she was in this mess of a situation. Kara was busy trying to fool Alex into thinking they were a couple, and Alex was busy trying to fool Kara that she didn’t know the truth and Lena found herself caught right in the middle.

“It’s okay baby, I can make dinner.” Lena smiled sweetly and watched Kara melt in relief that the status quo was maintained. “In fact, I’m sorry I behaved the way I did Alex. I am really, really sorry.” She turned and stared with sincerity and saw the flicker of recognition in Alex’s eyes. “Vegan pizza is great. I will eat vegan pizza. So you just tell Maggie not to get too disheartened just yet.”

“Aw guys, look at us all getting along, who would have thought!” She chuckled. Lena and Alex both laughed uncomfortably. “We need to get back to work but see you later tonight honey?” Kara said softly.

“Absolutely. It’s a plan.” Lena said, staring at Alex the entire time.

“It’s a plan.” Alex nodded slowly.

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	19. Chapter XIX

Between potstickers and vegan pizza, in the quiet interim where Kara was full and Maggie busied herself with foraging for left overs, Alex found herself walking three blocks over through the chill of National City at night for frozen strawberry cheesecake that precisely nobody asked for.

Lena tried to keep up, her heels thudding the icy pavement with the precision of a woman unconcerned by the inconvenient weather. It only made Alex furrow further into her scarf with frustration at how graceful she did it.

“...I mean, you couldn’t have thought of a more convenient excuse? You couldn’t have told them you needed my help putting the dishes away or, I don’t know, that you wanted to show me the colour palettes for the nursery?!” Lena exasperated and walked faster. The lip locked corners of her mouth curled downwards into the sharp pain of the cold air.

“It would have looked weird. Maggie does the dishes plus we’re not thinking about a nursery right now.” She bristled quietly and stopped along the pavement, allowing Lena to catch up a few paces.

There were reasons why they weren’t thinking about the nursery. Or the colour palettes. Or the baby’s clothes. Or names, even. There was an immovable mountain that Alex found herself stuck beneath most days when the topic drifted towards those things. Hope was a terrible thing sometimes. Alex wouldn’t let it dangle promises it couldn’t keep and then snatch it away, not this time.

“It’s not like you have all the time in the world to think about it,” Lena nodded towards the bell of her gut. “You’re second trimester now.”

“When I want advice Lena I will ask a woman who has been pregnant for more than five minutes, but thank you for the concern.” Alex narrowed her stare.

“Well, Maybe you should do just that,” Lena scoffed. “Your interpersonal skills could use some work.”

“I really wish I shot you earlier.” Alex complained.

Lena walked faster and shivered, “Shut up,” she said, “why spoil an otherwise disaster free night?”

“Disaster free?” Alex scoffed too and snapped around. She narrowed her stare. “I want you to say that again but this time look me in the eyes so I know you’re actually serious.”

“What?!”

“Lena, only you could think a Wild West style plot to catch your mother trying to leverage the nuclear arsenal of the United States is a ‘disaster free’ day.” Alex hissed and earned little awkward glances from the people walking around them.

Lena leaned in and raised her brows, her hands placed firmly on her hips. “Call me optimistic.”

“I can think of a lot of things to call you and optimistic isn’t one of them.”

“It really does pain you that I’m not the bad guy, doesn’t it?” Lena rolled her eyes with a sneer.

“You are. You’re just not the worst bad guy I have to deal with today,” Alex said coolly and pushed the door to the bodega open. “Now get the fuck inside,” she pointed and stared, “and start acting like you want cheesecake because I have to go back to my wife and sister and pretend I don’t know that you’re not really dating Kara, or that you're pregnant, oh, or that you're a double agent planning to use the President of The United States as a Toledo Panic Button. So there’s that too.” Alex deadpanned.

“Sooner or later, you’re going to have to come around to me.” Lena shook her head and wrapped her long coat tighter against the chill of the street. She walked inside the store and turned over her shoulder, “I’m pregnant with your niece or nephew after all.”

“Pfftt,” Alex sniffed and swallowed uncomfortably. “Barely.”

…

Kara unbuttoned her jeans and sunk into the sofa cushions, groaning and still full. She closed her eyes and exhaled a long noise, when she opened them again Maggie was standing with a lip locked smirk—a slice of pizza in one hand and two opened beers in the other.

“Where do you even put the food?” Kara exasperated as Maggie chewed and pushed one of the beers out towards her.

“Probably in the bottomless pit where I keep my emotions,” Maggie shrugged and flopped down besides her. She glugged a foamy mouthful of beer. “Aren’t you excited for cheesecake? I mean, did you see how fast Alex and Lena were to go and grab dessert? They were sneaking off all night to go and gossip in the kitchen,” Maggie grinned, “I think our girls are finally playing nicely.” She turned and raised a pleased brow.

“Yep,” Kara grimaced a smile and the lie began to twist her insides. “What great girls we have.”

“I mean, you and Lena? I was hesitant at first but what an _adorable_ couple you make,” Maggie elongated the words until they practically dripped out of her mouth. “Just so… in love! It’s vomit inducing, really.”

“You think so?” Kara forced a small uncomfortable laugh and took a sip of beer.

“I think you need to put a bite on that girl before someone else does.” Maggie assured with the knowing glance of a woman who had indeed caught her good one and kept her since.

Kara twisted and scratched her neck. She wasn’t good at lying, it just wasn’t in her nature. She lifted the beer bottle to her lips and furrowed her brows.

“Maggie?” She turned and blurted nervously.

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something? Something you definitely cannot tell Alex?”

“I knew it!” Maggie hissed and slapped her own knee, her hand twisting into a pointed finger that was promptly shot Kara’s way in absolute frustration. “You and Lena aren’t together, are you?!”

“Jesus is anything a secret between the four of us?!” Kara groaned.

“I knew something was wrong!” Maggie bristled to herself and shook her head, “You looked at her all night the same way I look at cake that Alex is ‘saving for when we have guests’, you couldn’t have been more subtle?!”

“Seriously? You couldn’t have put me out of my misery and told me you knew?!”

“Oh you would have denied it!” Maggie shot back quickly.

“Probably! There’s so much going on right now!”

“God Kara and with everything going on right now you didn’t think you could talk to me sooner? Instead you’ve been pretending that you and Lena are still together?!”

“Alex was in the hospital. That had to take precedence.” Kara said quietly in somber defeat.

“And you didn’t think you could talk me to me?! I get it with Alex, I really do. But me, Kara? I would have been there for you, dummy!” Maggie shoved her arm in that way big sisters tend to do. She sighed in annoyance and let a pause hang for a moment, “What happened Kiddo?”

“She’s a Luthor,” Kara shrugged and felt her eyes mist. She blinked quickly and slyly wiped a single tear that Maggie definitely saw. “God…” her voice ached, “Is it terrible that I kinda like pretending we’re a couple still? I mean, I don’t even know if we were a couple to begin with but I really like having an excuse to be around her. I like it a whole lot Maggie.”

“You’re still in love,” Maggie groaned and threw her head back like a disappointed child. “This is going to be so much unnecessary drama. You’re right about one thing though, Alex cannot know about this. She will worry and she is really, really not supposed to be worrying right now,” she whined.

“See!” Kara pointed, “that right there is why I didn’t tell you!”

“You didn’t tell Maggie what?” Alex breezed through the door with cheesecake in hand. “I didn’t know which one to get so I bought three,” she placed them down on the table and removed her coat. “I am just so excited for cheesecake. Aren’t you excited for cheesecake Lena?” Alex pushed her grin even further until it bordered the obsidian.

“I am just so excited for cheesecake everyone!” Lena began to laugh with glee and clapped her hands in excitement.

“You see! Look how excited she is for cheesecake!” Alex grabbed Lena’s grinning face and pinched her cheek. “Lena, go ahead, go on, you tell them what cheesecake we bought!” She pulled her over towards the bag on the table.

Kara blinked at the display and went to speak, but she was quickly cut off.

“Behind door number one...drum roll please, Alex,” Lena struggled with the blue plastic bag while Alex slapped her hands against the table in rhythm. “We have...blueberry!!” She displayed the package like a game show girl.

“Guys, blueberry!” Alex’s jaw hung open in pleased shock.

Kara blinked and opened her mouth before quickly closing it again, “Guys, er,” she finally managed to speak. “It’s just cheesecake?”

“IT’S NOT JUST CHEESECAKE, IT’S LEMON CHEESECAKE AND BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE AND RASPBERRY SWIRL CHEESECAKE!” Alex shouted at the top of her lungs in frustration, her eyes furious if only for a moment. She caught herself quickly and softened her expression, laughing uncomfortably and staring at Lena for moral support. “I’m just so excited.” she said under her breath with a tight lipped nervous smile.

“Who wants a slice?” Lena gulped.

“It’s got to be her pregnancy hormones,” Maggie whispered in Kara’s ear, “just, go with it?” She raised a pleading brow.

Kara blinked and turned back to her sister as if she were a captive, and her only hope of surviving this evening was to go along with Alex’s demands.

“I could go for cheesecake, Alex?” She nodded and shuffled forward to stand from the sofa she had comfortably collapsed and originally intended to stay on.

“No, no, don’t get up! I’ll go and get you a plate baby,” Lena reassured and waved her hand, rushing off to the kitchen.

Kara found herself no longer captive on that single word.

…

Lena and Kara walked up the flights of stairs towards the penthouse apartment in near silence. Kara offered to fly and Lena politely declined in preference for a slow drive. It was a good decision, Kara wasn’t sure how much cheesecake it took to cause respiratory failure but she was certain they had all came close. The slow unurgent climb of the stairs made for better breathing room too, she reasoned, definitely nothing to do with wanting to cling to every moment possible with Lena.

“Thank you for being good with my sister tonight, I know she was a little off…” Kara sighed and rubbed the back of her neck as they climbed the last flight. “Well, a whole lot off, but you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Lena offered a small genuine smile. “But pregnancy brain or not she loves you a lot though, Kara. You’re lucky to have that in your life.”

“You’re telling me that mighty Lena Luthor has no one who loves her?” Kara raised a brow and crossed her arms.

Lena just smiled softly again, “Maybe something like that.”

“Well I love—” Kara stopped herself mid-sentence, “I mean, well I think _there’s people_ who love you.”

“I’m untrustworthy remember? Can’t love someone you can’t trust.” Lena chuckled sadly and opened the stairwell door to her floor.

Kara breathed in and dared to stare at her in absolute confusion for a moment, “Yeah,” she exhaled and said under her breath, “works in theory but practice I’m not so sure.”

“Kara…” Lena seemed conflicted and pulled her lips inside her teeth. “Would you like to come inside?”

“I would like nothing more,” Kara whispered sadly and swallowed, aware of how terrible an idea it would be. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea honey.”

“No no, you’re right.” Lena did a half decent job of pretending her heart wasn’t breaking in two, she even beamed that trademark white smile.

It broke Kara’s heart in two.

“Well,” Lena nodded and tisked, “it’s time for me to be getting to bed. Until next time, Supergirl.” She whispered playfully.

“Until next time, Miss Luthor.”

Lena disappeared and the door closed. The loud snap of the metal settling back in its frame jarred Kara back to reality. She swallowed, well aware that she was playing with fire and dancing perilously close to the cliff’s edge that was being blindsided by Lena like this.

She turned on her feet with a weak frustrated shake of the head, listing reasons to herself why these games with Lena were a terrible idea.

 _Lena was probably evil or at least caught up in evil._ Kara twisted on the truth as she took the first reluctant and tentative step back down the fluorescent lit flight of stairs.

 _Lena definitely didn’t love her, not even a little bit._ She swallowed and took the second.

 _Maggie knew the truth now and Alex would find out too in a matter of time, there was no real reason to pretend they were still a couple._ She struggled on the third, the alpha in her belly resisted the need to run far away from here.

 _There was something dark Lena was protecting._ She forced the fourth, the alpha within now twisting and pulling the shackles that bound.

 _These games? Their occasional lapses in judgement? Kara’s inability to not love her? It’s going to get her killed._ Kara gritted her teeth and craned her neck, gripping the banister with a huff.

 _And what a way to burn out of this world,_ a chord struck and something took control.

Kara turned on her feet and took the four steps descended with lightning speed. She moved faster than the speed of light. Her racing feet cut through the air so fast that time itself became a thin hanging mist that she pushed through with ease. Kara raced up the stairs and all of her superpowers were not enough to get her to the door first.

Lena pushed it open and stared with smouldering green eyes, hunched and gasping and needing and begging with those sea washed green eyes. She jammed a hand against the door frame to keep her steady as the monolith before her stopped with millimetres to spare.

Kara growled and flared her nostrils. Her jaws moved like two tectonic plates, her muscles becoming the earthquake that rippled forth. She breathed in a deep hit of the hormones that flared and pulsed from Lena’s body and felt her cock rouse and stiffen.

“ _Mine._ ” Kara hissed like a god unconcerned with appearing human anymore and scooped her omega.

 

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	20. Chapter XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter twenty...

She is an ocean of almost white, and god, by the blessed light of Rao, it stretches and stretches. It rolls like a wave. It curves and it wraps and it moves over her ethereal slim bones in perfect thin swathes and Kara cannot.

She doesn’t.

She is incapable.

Her mind will not allow her to waste any time unravelling the knot of the people they are and the people they have to be outside of this room. 

All that there is, all that she thinks, all that she tastes, is Lena.

“You are mine,” she hisses helplessly with tears in her eyes, dragging her hot mouth over the apex of her pulse. “You are mine and only mine, nobody else’s, you are mine!” she growls and sears those words into Lena’s skin in near violent bursts.

And still, deep down in her lungs, within the safest part of her body that remains capable enough of holding atomic fallout beneath those thin diamond ribs, the knowledge that the words are nothing more than hopeless wishes wrangles and thrashes itself into a violent frenzy that Kara struggles to contain.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” she soothes and grabs her taut, hung, shuddering cheeks, “you are mine,” she pushes her forehead with a soothing hush. “You are my girl. All mine. Always mine. Only mine, because you belong to me—only to me, Kara,” Lena demands it of her with a low wantful growl.

This girl, this beautiful foolish girl that dances so perilously on the edge of what is good and decent, she will be the death of her. Kara shakes against the truth and takes a small amount of comfort in it, because to die protecting Lena like a godlet that kneels beneath the whim of one paper thin girl would be an earnest way to burn out of the sky.

“Hold me close and don’t let me go,” Lena begs desperately, resting her teeth softly into the shudder of her collarbone.

Kara arches and cants her hips, pushing forward with arms around the smallest portion of Lena’s spine until her teeth settle on the collar, growling and mumbling into the terrain of her bones and warm blood. She is a god with gentle hands, a god with mighty and sore gentle hands that need this girl within their yield.

And so she reaps.

“Just please be the hero,” Kara mumbles mindlessly, kneeling over her like a makeshift roof as what little clothing left is torn and thrown, “because I am so tired, I am so tired,” she stutters and heaves.

“I will be so good for you, just for you Kara,” Lena grabs her cheeks and sears that fire into her godlet’s lips, “I promise.”

They lie there flecked in golden starlight with their holy pulses thrumming against the chest of one another like a duet a far away god once wrote with the sole intention of hearing them play the chorus. The sharp crescendo draws, the symphonic high, the gnash of teeth that takes Lena’s bottom lip so hard the taste of blood is drawn, and Kara exhales a shaky breath with closed eyes.

The first thrust comes, the second and the third and the fourth and the fifth, and still Lena doesn’t, instead she lies there yearning, shaking, weeping, legs canted open until the ripe fruit between her thighs glistens. Her slim scarlet painted fingers dig half-crescent moons into the balls of her alpha’s furiously tense shoulders.

The taste of her want in the air crystallises the breath in Kara’s throat until she is made to swallow diamonds, until she is rendered unable to breathe.

“Please,” Lena stutters the plea and drags nails down her alpha’s spine, softening her. “Please I’ll give you anything, just, just, just let me have you deeper inside of me. Please?”

Then love me harder. Kara wants to scream it at her. 

Love me better.

Love me so entirely there are no more secrets. 

Love me so completely that the only room left in your heart leaves you thin and bitter for everything else.

Love me so deeply that the fault line of where my continent begins and yours finishes ebbs into a faint, beautiful nothing.

“Anything for you,” Kara tells her with a brief earnest smile and makes love to her deeper with one solid push of her hips. 

She slips strong arms around the pale queen beneath her and kisses the crook of her neck, then her soft breast. The tender selfish demands of the lost little star-flung girl stuck beneath her rut are not allowed to crest her breath. She pushes them in the churn of her stomach. She lets them thrum and hurt. She pours that gasoline until it sloshes her insides and lets the sound of Lena’s relieved sobs be the burning match that sets her to aflame again.

“So, so, so deep!” Lena groans slowly with blinking eyes, unsure and tentative into the body that settles completely on top of her. “It’s so deep—you’re so deep Kara!” She whimpers unproudly as the sting of Kara’s hips slap her in forceful rhythm.

“Who do you belong to?” Kara dares with a long and hard thrust, her face twisting with jealous need in nook of a bone where Lena could not see.

“Kara,” Lena gasps into the thrust with a hung jaw, “I belong to you, I’m yours, just yours.”

“Again,” Kara punctuated it with a hard thrust.

“I’m yours!” Lena sobs out as her body began to tip toe towards the finish line, “I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m only yours, always yours, just yours baby. Please let me cum, please let me cum!”

Her hips are pushed back until she is open and for the taking, spread out and held apart by Kara’s hands pressing into the back of each kneecap. Kara fucks her perfectly, violently, angrily, full of jealousy, hatred even, her chest shuddering, her lip baring the brunt of her chewing teeth. She drives forward and slips inside her cunt until there is nowhere else to go, until the knees caught in her hands flinch and jerk into the pressure of her growing knot.

“Like that?” Kara scalded her neck after a while with the heat of her breath in long kisses.

“God yes don’t you stop, don’t you dare stop!”

“I’ll pull out before I cum don’t worry baby,” Kara promised and pulled her face away from the nook of her neck to kiss her. “You just cum for me, hard.”

“Don’t.” Lena grunted and moaned, closing her eyes.

“What? No baby I’m going to pull out—”

“You don’t have to.” Lena said mindlessly and wrapped her arms around the alpha on top of her. She held on for dear life, her slender warm hands guiding the slick muscular back further towards herself.

Kara began to hesitate but then Lena came hard and fast, her cunt clenching and throbbing into the insatiable burn of her knot until all she could do was thrust, and thrust, and thrust, and thrust, hissing and biting into the punch of her own orgasm as Lena’s rolled and washed into another.

Kara collapsed on top of her in a huffing, sweating pile. She managed to blink and drag her soft grunting mouth over the ball of Lena’s shoulder in sweet open mouthed kisses. She was puzzled and uncertain for a moment. She remained quiet about it too, for a little while at least.

“I fall so hopelessly in love with you every time we do this,” Lena whispered and sighed with Kara caught in her slim arms.

Kara softly nudged backwards and stared into Lena’s emerald green eyes. There was something different. Usually, after they were satiated, the alpha inside of her withered away into something soft and human until before she knew it she was herself again. Kara stared down and smoothed the hair from Lena’s face and knew there was nowhere else would rather be, nowhere she could be even if she tried.

“You do?” Kara whispered back and swallowed, “Fall in love with me. I mean.” She said nervously.

“Do you?” Lena ached and blinked.

Kara nodded and kissed her softly and shifted herself on braced elbows. “Is that why you… you know?” She looked down the galley of their bodies.

“What?” Lena asked dumbly.

“Lena…” Kara blinked and realised how strange it was in her mind. “Why did it not matter if I pulled out?”

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	21. Chapter XXI

In the kitchen, Alex stood over the text messages from Lena on her phone and grinded her jaw in frustration. It was too early in the morning to be reminded of all the convoluted lies between the people she cared about, especially when she wasn’t allowed to drink caffeinated coffee. Lena and Kara weren’t a couple but they were pretending to be for her benefit. That was two coffees right there. Lena was the mysterious source of information concerning the bubbling trouble with Catmus, to which nobody else was aware of her double-agent status. Four coffees. Oh, and then there was the small fact she and Lena were now the only people besides the President of the United States in on the plan to bring down a radical terrorist cell. Fifty-eight coffees and a donut selection.

But still, Alex stared at her phone and found herself clutching at what was left of her sanity. There was no amount of coffee in the world that would help her brain stretch far-enough to wrap around the cluster-fuck they were all trapped together in.

_Kara came home with me the night we came over for dinner. We’ve talked and we’re going to try and make it work again._

Alex rubbed her forehead and thumbed a reply.

_And you thought right now was the time to get back together? Everything going on Lena and you went home with my sister Friday night? You couldn’t have waited a month to get back on that horse?_

The replies were almost instantaneous.

_I feel like I can’t breathe with all these lies._

_I accidentally told Kara she didn’t have to pull out and if she wasn’t suspicious before, she is now._  

_I think you should come over tonight and we can all get everything out in the open and embrace a little honesty between us all._

Alex gagged.

_You thought I needed to hear you let my sister nut in you again, Lena?_

Ping.

_Honesty. Embrace it, Alex._

Alex heard the flush in the bathroom and suddenly became aware of Maggie. Her thumbs became rapid and furious.

_Don’t you dare drop me into this. I signed up for the plan to bait and switch the President, granted. But what Maggie doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her and I don’t even want to know if there’s stuff she’s been hiding from me. Keep us and our secrets out of this._

Ping.

_I’m about to tell the invincible woman that I am pregnant with her child and I need support where I can get it. Woman up? Please?_

The lock on the bathroom door fumbled and the wood creaked open. There was barely enough time for a reply but Alex worked quickly.

_I hate you. Yes I will be your back-up tonight._

Ping.

_Does this mean we’re friends now?_

Footsteps finally padded out into the hallway. Alex sent her final reply.

_Fuck off Lena._

“Who are you texting?” Maggie yawned and padded through into the kitchen.

A chaste kiss was planted on Alex’s temple and a hand smoothed around the small of her back. Alex weakly smiled and shoved her phone in her back pocket, “No one important,” she swallowed.

“Hmmm,” Maggie pulled away and looked her up and down, her eyebrows doing the thing. “That frown says different,” she said.

Alex sighed and found herself at a loss. The consistent need to lie was growing tiring, the need to hide things from that sweet little alpha especially. Maybe it was the knowledge deep down that Maggie was hiding things from her too that would serve to be better out in the open that Alex found herself worried about the most. Granted, those secrets were probably somehow connected to this enormous heap of a mess they were all somehow tangled in. Alex didn’t even want to begin about thinking of those ones though because their secrets were different from Kara and Lena’s. 

Their secrets were worse. 

Their secrets were deep and knotted and tightly wound around their ribs and stuck on the cusp of every breath. Their secrets were intrinsically and undeniably connected to a lost baby and all the unsaid words that went along with it and now there is not enough time to fix those wrongs before a new baby would be here. A new baby who would need them to be the best, unbroken, undamaged people they could possibly be.

Alex felt a flutter in her stomach as the thought crossed her mind. Four and a half months didn’t feel like much time at all to cross all those bridges and heal those old threshed out wounds they were both adamant were not wounds at all anymore but just simply scars now. Soon the baby would come and then all of those secrets and unsaid things would just… disappear. 

Not disappear. 

Secrets and unsaid things never disappear. 

They just carry on going unsaid, festering away.

“Babe,” Maggie waved her hand in front of Alex’s face and brought her back from the cliff edge of her thoughts.

“Sorry, sorry.” Alex shook her head and weakly smiled, “I lied. When you asked me who I was texting and I said no one important, I wasn’t telling the truth,” she said guiltily.

“Is this the part where you tell me you’re having an affair?”

“No, this is the part where I tell you I was texting Lena.”

“You’re having an affair with Lena?” Maggie’s brows lowered in utter confusion.

“Baby, no one is having an affair,” Alex chuckled and found herself grateful for an honest statement to give her wife. “I just, I hate lying to you. I hope you know that. I hate it _so so much,_ Maggie.”

“Then don’t lie to me?” Maggie offered calmly and her lips lifted into that gleaming smile that made it feel so impossible to lie to her in the first place. “You trust me right? You know you can talk to me?”

Alex searched Maggie’s gentle brown eyes and sighed in concession. She looked to the ceiling, then the sofa, then at absolutely nothing at all. The words felt stuck in the back of her throat but they came slowly like a trickle, “I feel like I’ve gotten so good at lying to you and I hate that the most about myself,” Alex scratched her head awkwardly.

“It’s never too late to tell me whatever it is that’s going on,” Maggie gently took her wrist. “I need you to know that. I need you to know that you are my wife and there is nothing you could do, nothing you could say, that I couldn’t forgive. Okay?”

“Okay,” Alex nodded like a nervous child.

“Okay then,” Maggie slipped her arms around Alex’s back and leaned forward. She nuzzled with a hand against Alex’s belly and a nose resting between her collar bones. “I want you to tell me what you’ve got yourself tangled up over and not because you’re in trouble, not that. Tell me because I am your wife and I want to be the person you can come to with the scary secrets.”

“Lena and Kara aren’t together anymore, they were pretending. Well. They might be together now, it’s a long story,” Alex sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Up until yesterday night they were just pretending.”

Maggie grew very still and quiet.

“You’re mad. I knew you would be mad. I knew I should never have let her rope me into—”

“Kara told me and I kept that from you too...” Maggie admitted guiltily with a wince, “God Alex, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait. You kept that from me?” Alex leaned away and narrowed her eyes.

“I know it’s worst that I kept it from you because she’s your little sister but sometimes we have to keep fucked up things from the people we love to protect them. Can we please agree on that?”

“Oh you don’t have to give me that lecture! Trust me!” Alex simmered and thought about all the grief and guilt she had buried away for Maggie’s benefit.

Here it was. 

The fight.

The unwinnable, unconquerable, dreaded fight. 

The one they never seemed to move past. 

Alex felt the anger and grief swell against her ribcage like a breaking riverbank, it swirled and dragged and threatened to destroy them and everything right along with it. Maggie would tell her to let it out, to shout, to hate her, to let it hurt and hurt until she couldn’t breathe because of it, to let it burn their perfect lives apart so that they could finally clear away the char and rebuild together. But Alex never did that. Instead Alex always said her quiet apologies and buried that hateful fire beneath a mountain of kindling within herself.

“Sorry,” Alex whispered and blinked off thin tears, “I’m sorry I shouted it’s just pregnancy hormones, you know, the usual,” she said quietly and waved her hands.

“Sweetie I don’t think it is just that.” Maggie took her hands.

“Yeah, you’re right. It isn’t,” Alex said shamefully. She felt the overwhelming need for honesty wash over once again and closed her eyes, exhaling quietly for a moment. “We lost a pregnancy and we should talk about that sometime. I know that. But can that time not be right now? Please? Because there are other things I want to talk to you about. Less important things, granted. But I’m trying...”

“You know I don’t like it when you call it that. When you say, ‘we lost a pregnancy,’ like—”

“No, no, stop!” Alex said urgently, unwilling to talk about it. “If we get into this right now I don’t know if I will get myself back out again and right now I need to be able to own myself. I need to be able to be in control.”

“Okay,” Maggie said it so simply, “I’m on your team, Alex.”

“Maggie,” Alex hesitated and eyed her cautiously, “Lena is pregnant.”

Maggie’s eyes grew wide.

Her lips pursed.

Her expression ashen.

The hands around each of Alex’s wrists become suddenly undone.

“Lena is pregnant?” Maggie choked out the question.

Alex nodded and covered her mouth nervously, “She told me on Friday. I thought...I thought I could go along with it. She has this plan to get rid of her mother for good and Kara couldn’t find out otherwise the plan would fail and she said she needed mine and the DEOs help to make this plan work,” Alex grew exasperated and searched for the words. “She was right, Maggie, that’s the short version. Lena is on the right team,” Alex finally sighed and lowered her head, “But more than that I just didn’t want to be the one to tell Kara I mean she’s so young, you know? What if it isn’t what she wants? What if she’s scared? What if she felt like she couldn’t talk to me about it because…well...because...you know...what happened,” she said bleakley.

“You think Kara thinks you’re unqualified to give her advice because of what happened last time?”

Alex rolled her eyes in frustration, “She’s only twenty-four, Maggie. She’s bound to be scared.”

“Then she should have thought about that before she got a girl pregnant, Alex.” Maggie raised her chin until they were looking one another in the eyes, “It is not your job to fix everyone else’s problems. If you want to take on the big scary secrets then that is your decision sweetheart, but you have to trust me that you can talk to me about them when they get too big to bare? You have to know I am on your team, right?”

Alex breathed a sigh of relief, “Lena is planning on telling Kara tonight, I just wanted you to hear it from my mouth first. I wanted to be start being more honest with you and this felt like a good place to start.”

“Thank you for trying,” Maggie gave a doleful smile.

“I’m going to text Lena back and tell her we can’t come tonight. Kara should hear this in private. She’s probably going to feel scared, frustrated, helpless, happy hopefully, but either way she should get to feel those things without people watching.”

“Well,” Maggie did the thing with her eyebrows that signalled a contrary point. “Did Lena ask you to come over, or did Kara?”

“Yeah but—”

“She’s pregnant, Alex. She’s pregnant and she is alone and she is scared, and all of those things you’re so worried about Kara feeling? Lena has been feeling them. Does that not say something to you about how few people she must have to lean on that she asked _you_ to be there? You thrive when people need you and I love that about you the most. I might not agree with it sometimes, hell, I definitely don’t like it when you get yourself caught up in other people’s crap, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are the woman who fixes problems. Lena asked for you to be there, she is the one who needs you right now.” Maggie took her hands again.

“You wanted me on bed rest,” Alex said quietly with a tiny smile.

“Well, that was just wishful thinking on my part. There isn’t a bed big enough to hold you down.”

 

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	22. Chapter XXII

Above the static hum of National City, existing as an onlooker, a voyeur, a woman out of time, Lena watched twinkling lights stretch out to the water edge melt into nothing but a warm glow beneath the moon and waited for the doorbell to ring. She did little else besides that and the automatic act of breathing. 

Lena closed her eyes with a sigh, listening to the ripple of traffic coming and going down the street outside as if it were the melody of the city. Inside, Kara bounced between the rooms looking for her cream cardigan, hopping around trying to get a leg in her blue jeans. It made for a seemingly ordinary scene, her on the balcony with her feet resting on the other patio chair and Kara fussing over what to wear. Just a normal date night, anyone else might think.

Above all things, Lena wished she could keep the little alpha just like that: happy and unaware. Still, here they are, on the brink of the reckoning, and still she does not know how to make the words roll off her tongue. Doesn’t know how to say, ‘I am carrying your baby and I know that wasn’t the plan but I am very scared and I need you to love me, please?’

It’s easier to just not say anything, or at least it has been for the last few weeks because if Kara doesn’t know then she can’t reject her, if she is kept happy and unaware then maybe, just maybe, in some tiny unfathomably insignificant way, Lena gets to be that too.

“They’re here!” Kara hollered from the living room.

“The doorbell didn’t—” The bell rang, suddenly Lena remembered she was dealing with a superhero. 

For a brief instance, it filled her with a repulsed sort of pride. She had somehow managed to keep all of this from a godling who can see through walls, taste atoms, and hear the low thrum of heartbeats. A prize it did not earn, but Lena couldn’t help but think she deserved a pat on the back or at the very least a girl scout badge. Evasive and Tactical Skills. That would be a good name for it, she mused to herself.

“Hey Kara, can you come here a sec?” Lena blurted without thinking about what she would even say next. Kara stopped and turned, footing back over to the balcony door.

“What’s up?” She leaned against the frame with a beaming little grin.

“I just.” Lena licked her lips, determined to savour a little piece of happiness in case she found herself in short-supply after tonight. “I’ve fallen for you. I have, really really.”

Kara raised a brow, “You had me come all the way over here to tell me that?”

“You wish that I didn’t?” Lena raised a brow too.

“Nah,” Kara stepped forward and craned her head down to kiss her cheek. “I would circle the earth to hear you say that. Spoil me, say it again.”

“You,” Lena playfully grabbed her cheeks, “have got me falling head over heels for you and I want you to know I’m grateful you’re giving me a chance. Really.”

“Well, at this point whatever scary truths you’ve been hiding cannot be worse than the things I have conjured in my very over-active imagination. Anything less than you being an Amway representative is a victory in my books.”

“Me being an Amway saleswoman is the worst thing you thought of?”

“It’s a pyramid scheme, Lena. Those things are the definition of evil. Still,” Kara sighed a weighted breath, “You asked me not to ask questions and so I’m not asking.”

“I promise I’ll tell you everything, just let me work up to it.”

“Just promise you’re not evil?”

“I promise.”

“Good.” Kara nodded awkwardly, “Well that’s good.”

Kara was playing her nervousness down and Lena knew it. In the cornflower blue of her eyes was a sort of hesitation, an aching need to not open the front door and stay in this happy-enough purgatory a little longer. Lena empathised, but god she was tired. 

The doorbell rang again and didn’t stop this time, Lena imagined Alex with her finger jammed against it growing impatient with each second.

“Go and let your sister in before she kicks the door down,” Lena said, coming undone from Kara’s cheeks.

“Alright honey.” 

Kara made the walk back through the apartment towards the front door, skipping the last few steps. She opened the front door and Lena inhaled a deep pensive breath, because now it really was too late to back out of all of this. Alex was there, barely making pleasantries with her sister, pushing a brown paper bag with beers in her arms, before she blew over towards the balcony like a hurricane.

“You.” Alex pointed, “Inside, kitchen, cheeseboard, now.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nibbles,” Alex fumed and looked over her shoulder to make sure Kara was putting the beers she brought over away. She lowered her voice to a whisper, “I need nibbles to get through the turmoil you are putting me and this unborn child through tonight, Lena.”

Lena glared and leaned forward, “You’re worried about a fucking cheeseboard right now?” she hissed under her breath.

“If I don’t have something to chew on I will start blurting things. I feel very clammy and nervous.”

“Well let’s just make it all about you,” Lena sassed and stood from her seat.

Alex reached out a hand and touched Lena’s wrist, awkwardly. It stalled Lena and made her pause because Alex was not one for tender little reassurances. Not with her at least. It didn’t last very long, Alex quickly pulled her hand back and tucked it into her pocket.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alex said with a sigh.

Lena gulped and adjusted an earring with a nervous fiddle, then tucked a loose piece of raven hair behind her ear. “You think?” She winced.

“You asked for back up and I am here. It will be alright.”

“Thank you for coming,” Lena’s voice trailed into a sigh. “I didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t either but then Maggie talked some sense into me.”

“God, are things okay with her?” Lena winced again.

“Better than they were, actually.” Alex seemed relieved, “She’s playing darts in the precinct tournament tonight, she didn’t want to come over and make it a crowd.”

“Right,” Lena nodded. “Well, thanks for coming. It means a lot to me,” her voice trailed.

“Anytime,” Alex huffed and rubbed the back of her neck. “We better go inside and get this over with.”

They made the slow walk to the kitchen island where Kara stood on her tiptoes trying to reach for the top of the cupboard where the cheeseboard lived. She strained and slapped around with her palm, then slowly levitated upwards off the ground just a few inches to get the utensils she needed. It sat as stark and unusual in Lena’s mind, reminding her once again that she was dealing with a little god who made herself as human as possible in the thin attempt of melting in to the ordinary.

“Sorry,” Kara fumbled and landed back on the ground with a cheeseboard in her hands, “I wasn’t listening in, I promise. I just heard Alex say the word cheeseboard and well… I put two and two together,” she offered them a flustered smile and placed it on the counter.

“You’re really good at putting two and two together, aren’t you Kiddo?” Alex chuckled until Lena slapped her.

Kara didn’t notice anything too out of the ordinary, instead she just gave them a strange look and shook her head. “Alex don’t do what you usually do and fill up on nibbles. The Chinese place is delivering in half an hour,” she warned and cut a piece of cheese into tiny little cubes.

“I do not do that.” Alex pointed.

“Every time you do it.”

“I’m eating for two.”

“You’re eating for one and a foetus.”

“Two then?”

Kara looked up with a wry smile, “Fine,” she sighed. “Eat as much Brie as you want but don’t complain to me when you get cheese nightmares.”

“It’s a real thing! Google it!” Alex exasperated and rubbed her head.

This feels too normal in Lena’s mind. It feels too much like an ordinary night. If she’s quiet, if she’s really silent and clears her mind of all the debris from the fallout, she could almost lose herself in the small talk. Lena cleared her throat and straightened herself, better to get this over and done with, she thought.

“Kara do you want to get a beer and come and sit down?” Lena offered with a lick of her plump lips. “We can get nibbles in a minute.”

“Sure.” Kara reached for fridge, “Do you want one too?” She turned back.

“Oh, er, no thank you. I’m not drinking tonight,” Lena said with an awkward smile.

“I’m sure Alex doesn’t mind if we drink a beer.” Kara looked at her sister with a raised brow, “she brought them over for us.”

Lena stalled and licked her lips. She tried to speak but the words suddenly became thick like tar inside her brain. All of the lies, all of the carefully crafted excuses, and she wasn’t quite sure what to say now.

_I’m pregnant too._

The sentence lulled in the back of her brain, wisped around like smoke, grew thick like a blanket laying over every other possible excuse. She felt it brim in the back of her mouth, felt it swell inside her lungs, felt it ache and itch and claw its way up her windpipe.

A hand grabbed Lena’s wrist and pulled her back to reality. She looked down and saw Alex’s fingers squeezing her wrist beneath the countertop, as if she could read her mind.

“Actually,” Alex blurted, “I brought them over just for you. It’s nice not being the only person not drinking, doesn’t make me miss it so much,” she laughed and rubbed her big belly.

“Fine,” Kara shrugged and finished up with the cheese knife. “Lena get a beer, I won’t drink tonight.”

“No!” Alex fumbled and scratched her head, “You should have a drink.”

“Why? Alcohol doesn’t affect me. I’m not human remember?” Kara narrowed a look at her suddenly nervous sister, “What the hell is going on?”

“Shit,” Alex rubbed her head and winced. She looked at Lena, “You’re up. I’m all out.”

“You’re all out?!” Lena blurted loudly and panicked, “You literally came up with two! Two reasons! You couldn’t think of another one and give me a little more time to work up to it?!”

“Oh you really want to get into this right now Lena because I think if we watch the replay you’ll see you choked up trying to think of just one so how about get fucked,” she hissed.

“Oh, real mature Alex!”

Kara slammed the dishcloth from her shoulder down on the counter with a loud thump. It dawned on them slowly, had them both staring at each other like two children that suddenly realised they were caught red-handed. Alex swallowed and turned her head at Kara. Lena just inhaled, mortified, ashamed, dying, hanging her head.

“Okay one of you needs to start talking,” Kara said unflinchingly.

The words make Lena feel like her chest is caving in, they remind her of this one time when she was eight when her father caught her climbing the rafters in the barn that she had been warned a half dozen times to never play with. It’s the same disappointed, gruff, fiery-eyed telling off. And the thought does occur to her that, in all of her twenty-four years, Kara shouldn’t be capable of making her feel like this with just one sentence.

It doesn’t change the fact that she does though.

“I think you should come and sit down,” Alex said pensively.

 

***

 

The cheeseboard sits on the coffee table untouched. The beeping traffic outside and the hum of the city now the only sound to fill the uncomfortable silence in the living room. Lena shifted awkwardly, sitting down on the chesterfield sofa opposite from the loveseat where Kara had plonked down. Alex just stood, hands on her hips and head occasionally shaking in disbelief.

“Is this it?” Kara asked after a moment, calmly. “Is this the part where you tell me there’s yet more secrets that I’m not allowed to know about?”

“No,” Lena replied.

“Good,” Kara nodded her head and reached for a bottle of beer. There was no bottle opener and so instead she snapped the glass neck from the body of the bottle and glugged thirstily for a moment. Her lips came undone, a hand wiping her mouth, “I’m getting really tired of not knowing things, Lena.” Kara placed the drink back down.

“I know,” Lena answered like a scolded child and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Then tell me what’s going on?” Kara demanded, looking to each of them sternly.

Alex pulled her lips into a tight thoughtful expression and crossed her arms tighter around her belly. She footed over to the sofa and stood besides Lena’s trembling figure like a sentinel, a reluctant protector, a woman who had found herself as equally trapped in the carnage of this situation.

“Lena it’s going to be okay,” Alex said quietly and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Do you want me to help?”

It stalled Lena. She wasn’t used to being offered help, not by anyone let alone Alex Danvers. It made her feel silly, spun out of control even, which was a difficult series of thoughts to process because if there was one thing Lena was exponentially good at: it was being in control of a situation. Yet, here she is, fumbling and unsure of herself.

“She’s going to be so mad,” Lena mumbled nervously and didn’t quite meet either of their eyes.

“Probably,” Alex agreed and sat down besides her.

“You’re not helping.”

“You’re Lena Luthor, since when did you need anyone’s help?” Alex whispered kindly and slipped an arm around her. “It’s going to be alright. It might not seem it now, but it will.”

“I’m scared,” Lena almost laughed. It was an unusual feeling, one she wasn’t used to admitting.

Kara didn’t say a single thing, not a single utterance of reassurance. It became a stark silence in Lena’s mind that reminded her of the monumentallness of all of this. By the time she worked up the courage to look her in the eyes, Kara isn’t even there at all. The woman sitting across from her is a stranger. A scared, nervous, angry stranger who is at her wits end too.

It only terrifies her all the more.

“Shall we tell her together?” Alex coaxed gently.

“Wait, you know and I don’t?” Kara blurted angrily at her sister, offended. “You’ve been hiding whatever this is from me too?”

Alex paused and stared at her sister coolly, “Cadmus is behind the data breach. Lena gave them the alien registry in the hopes of entrapping her mother,” she said bluntly. “That’s secret number one.”

There’s a silence that falls over the room. It takes Lena a second to realise that Alex just said it, that she just blurted the biggest secret of all without any build up or forewarning. By the time she looks up from where she had cradled her headache between two hands, Kara is already stalled and broken hearted.

It crucifies her.

“No.” Kara shook her head and softened into a devastated frown, already on the brink of tears. “Lena wouldn’t...she wouldn’t do that.” She refused to believe it.

“Wanna bet?” Alex sighed and rubbed her head.

“She wouldn’t do that, would you Lena?” Kara asked, desperate to hear the right answer.

Lena couldn’t find it within herself to form a reply, instead she just folded forward and rested her head between two clammy palms again.

“Lena had to prove her loyalty to her mother. She hacked the DEO server and got the registry, then gave us a secret tip off so we would be on our toes. She was hoping we would catch up to what was going on, isn’t that right?” Alex encouraged Lena gently.

“I had to do things I’m not proud otherwise they would know it wasn’t real,” Lena whispered from the cradle of her hands.

“Things you’re not proud of?!” Kara roared and stood from her seat, “You mean like endangering the lives of hundreds of thousands of people? Like helping your mother begin a _genocide_?!” She shook with utter rage.

“If I didn’t get the registry for her she would have found somebody else who would. I mean, there were security holes everywhere Kara.” Lena thought back to how easy it all was. “I had to do it. I had no choice if I wanted to protect you,” Lena stuttered and tried to make her understand.

“Then you tell me!” Kara growled, “You say, Kara I am in trouble and I need your help! You don’t become an accessory to the crime! Jesus Christ, you’re going to go to prison for the rest of your life...” Kara panicked, walking backwards and forwards. “They’re going to send you to the Raft. You should have asked for my help Lena, you should have asked! How the hell am I supposed to help you now? Do you understand that I cannot get you out of this mess?”

“I’m not asking you to get me out of this mess… and it’s not what you think. It’s, it’s not this covert one-woman show.” Lena softened.

“Oh really?” Kara’s brow piqued, “Because Alex is involved? You dragged my pregnant sister into all of this?”

“I…” Lena rubbed her throat and became stuck. “I’m sorry.”

“You should have asked for my help!” Kara refused to let it go.

“But I didn’t need your help?”

Kara raised a furious brow and became more alpha than woman, a catastrophe in motion, a clenching set of fists, a grind of her jaw, a furious series of events that was blowing in her direction like a hurricane.

“You didn’t need my help?” Kara asked unflinchingly.

“I did it to protect you, so that my mother would be put away for good and… so far? I think I’ve done pretty well.”

“Well we’re going to go to J’onn about this,” Kara fumed and scratched her head. “You have put so many lives in danger, Lena. I just can’t believe you would be this… self righteous.” Kara twisted.

“Self righteous?” Alex jumped in, “You are in no position to be calling her self-righteous right now!”

“Excuse me?” Kara piqued a brow.

“You lied too.”

“ _Excuse me?!_ ” Kara burst.

“That you and Lena were still together for my benefit? Oh yeah, I know about that. You should have told me that you thought she was dangerous and you should have told me she broke your heart! No offence Lena,” Alex muttered and patted her shoulder.

“None taken.” Lena squeezed the hand.

“I am your sister, Kara.” Alex continued, “I am the person that you come to when shit gets real.”

“You think I was going to put that on you?” Kara calmed her tone and narrowed her eyes curiously at Alex, “How could you ever think I would put that stress on you after everything that has happened to you?”

“See. Do you see how easy it is to keep something from someone you love when you think you’re doing the right thing?” Alex tried, her expression heavy with that older sibling sort of authority.

“It’s different,” Kara protested.

“And why is that?”

“Because of what happened to you!”

“Oh I was in the hospital, big whoop!” Alex chided back.

“You know what I meant! I’m talking about before that, I’m talking about last time you were pregnant, Alex! You barely survived what happened!” Kara snapped and then realised what she said.

Alex froze and her expression grew ashen.

“Alex I’m sorry—”

“Don’t,” Alex whispered so quietly it was barely audible.

“Alex—”

“Shut up.” Alex lifted her hand, shakily.

Lena watched Alex blink a few times, watched her bottom lip tuck inwards between her teeth as if she were chewing back something big enough to make tonight’s affairs pale in comparison. She looked as if there were pine needles beneath her tongue, something thin, something needle like, something pricking the inside of her mouth and forcing her lips to purse tight. 

Lena couldn’t help but reach out a hand and touch Alex’s knee very softly, very careful not to startle her from whatever nightmare she was caught up in.

The doorbell rang twice in quick succession from behind where she and Alex were sat. The food couldn’t have came at a worse time, Lena thought to herself. Nonetheless Kara got up silently, guilty, full of shame even, and walked down the hallway towards the front door.

“Are you alright?” Lena asked quietly now they were alone. 

Alex seemed far away, dazed even.

“I’m fine,” Alex said automatically.

“Hey.” Lena squeezed her knee, “Are you here? Are you with me right now?”

Alex nodded, still not quite all there.

“What was Kara talking about?” Lena pushed.

Alex suddenly came back to life with a jolt, blinking rapidly and forcing an exasperated smile. She inhaled and exhaled a deep breath, furrowing her brow. 

“Nothing, nothing don’t worry,” she reassured and shook her head. “Sorry we all have our weak spots, I just checked out for a second.”

“She said you were pregnant before?” Lena prodded further. The front door closed and Kara’s footsteps were heard trailing back along the hallway slowly.

“Barely pregnant,” Alex scoffed with a roll of her eyes, “Kara can be over dramatic sometimes. I was pregnant and then I wasn’t, a little bleeding, that’s all,” she said, blasé, and then forced a tight smile. Alex became determined to seem alright about the whole thing.

“Barely pregnant?” A familiar hurt voice whispered.

They both snapped around to find Maggie standing behind them with Alex’s purse over her shoulder. Alex must have forgot her keys. Maggie just stood there like a lame duck, unmoving. Her big brown eyes full of hurt and confusion.

“Maggie…” Alex trailed.

“Did you just say you were barely pregnant?” Maggie reiterated sadly, completely dumbfounded on the idea.

“It’s… it’s not what you think,” Alex said softly and became utterly lost. She lowered her voice, shifting her eyes at the others. “Can we talk about this when I come home?” The question was posed like a plea.

Maggie glared and bit her lip. “Sure. I just came over to drop off your purse and give you my car keys because I’m drinking with the guys tonight. I wanted to make sure everything was okay. You weren’t texting back and I got worried,” she conceded after a moment and set down the bag and keys on the side table. “I mean, it’s not like we’re _actually_ going to talk about it,” Maggie blurted and chuckled uncomfortably. “I guess that’s just not your thing, is it Alex?” She looked up with a raised brow.

“Mags,” Alex jumped out of her seat and walked around the sofa. “I can come home?” She tried.

“Nah,” Maggie tucked her hands in her pockets and walked back to the front door. She shook her head and tilted her chin upwards, never bothering to turn around, “So busy fixing everyone else Alex but ya never quite got round to me. Why change that now?”

Maggie left just like that, as quickly as she came. It left a morose, acidic taste in the back of Lena’s throat. The guilt sat heavy on her shoulders as she watched Alex curl forward and try her best to deal with it. She should have never asked Alex to come, the thought dawns on her too suddenly. It’s persistent though, the concept refuses to go away, because everyone who comes within close distance of her, who gives her a chance, they all end up hurting in the end because of it.

Instinctively, Lena thought about the tiny baby growing inside of her, nudging around in her womb, fluttering and yet still barely there.

What if she let her child down too?

The thought made her feel sick.

“I’m going to go home,” Alex finally said.

“Alex please don’t,” Kara fumbled and didn’t know what to do with herself.

“No, I,” Alex found herself stumped. “I need to go and make this right and you two have some things to talk about. Just, please, don’t say anything right now Kara.” She shrugged away from her sister and made a beeline for the door.

Lena listened to the door open, listened to the footsteps hesitate, listened to the hollow silence from the fallout she had caused... then the door closed. 

Then it was only them.

“I… I don’t understand what happened. How it was that we got here,” Lena whispered and sank forward into her elbows again.

Footsteps walk around the sofa and back towards the loveseat. She heard Kara sit down with a regretful sigh. She didn’t dare to look up because if she did then she would have to see the hurt in her face, the somberness, the worry, the absolute absence of any idea on how to fix this mess that Lena had made.

“You happened.”

The pain is so visceral, so alive, so present it feels like those words just scored papercuts along her heart. 

She cannot bring herself to look at Kara.

“Alex, er,” Kara paused and sighed again, “There was a baby. That’s why they’re at odds with each other, I guess me and you don’t have that excuse to fall back on though. Thank god.”

“Thank god?” Lena whispered.

“You’re right that’s a messed up thing to say it’s just… does it make me a bad person to admit I wouldn’t survive it? I can deal with this but… what they’re going through?” Her voice trailed into a quiet nothing.

Lena felt her entire spine melt like hot steel, bending and collapsing and no longer equipped to hold her up even if she tried. Instead she just stays there, silent, curled forward with her elbows jammed up on to her knees. It makes for a strange sight, but nonetheless she remains exactly like that, barely breathing, because Kara wouldn’t _survive_ a baby. All of those hopeful thoughts that this would be okay, that they would be okay, that Kara would scoop her up and allow her to be weak and decide to love and protect her anyway? They’re just pretty dreams.

Terrible, painful, pretty dreams.

“I think I should go, Lena. I mean _really go_ this time,” Kara said sadly.

“What?”

“What you did… I just can’t get my head around it. God I really want to,” Kara wept quietly, “I mean, I do believe you did it for me but that just makes it feel worse the more I sit with it. You have risked so many lives and for what? To protect me?” Kara let the sentence hang with utter silence. “I’m sure you have your reasons and I’m sure they’re good ones but I just can’t… I can’t stand by your side knowing there were children on that list and you didn’t think about a single one of them.”

“Go.” Lena pointed at the door and barely held it together.

She needs her to leave, she needs this apartment to be empty and quiet and ridden of all trace that Kara Danvers was ever here. Was ever inside of her. Was ever close enough to burden her with these inescapable troubles that are now hers and hers alone to bear. She needs to curl up somewhere very small and tight where it’s safe and free of distraction, because the thought that maybe this world would be better if she wasn’t in it is dawning on her too quickly, too suddenly, too forcefully, too hard to resist tempting. 

She needs it to be quiet.

She needs every ounce of silence she can get in order to work through each one of those repulsive thoughts, and right now Kara is still talking. Her lips are moving. The tender sentiments are stinging her skin like acid. 

Lena needs them to stop.

She needs them to stop now before she starts to beg her to change her mind and not leave at all, before the obedient and soft little omega panicking in her lungs takes over and has her crawling on hands and knees to beg at her lap, to plead for that spineless godlet to love her and this baby.

But Kara is still talking and Lena can feel it brooding and bubbling thick and fast within herself, the urge.

She will not be made that small.

She will not be made that humiliated.

She will survive this, somehow.

“Get out!” Lena explodes so loudly her ribs and jaw bones shudder around the force of it. “Go, now!”

It does the trick.

***

Alex opened the door to the apartment and knew from the gust of warmth that Maggie had already beat her to it. At first she panicked, thought that maybe Maggie had packed her bags and gone to her cousin’s place. It was only when she worked her way around the living room, the bedroom, looking for symptoms of her, that she finally calmed down. The bathroom fan was whirring quietly and the light shone through the frosted glass door. It was then she heard Maggie crying quietly.

“Mags?” Alex spoke up and forced herself to be brave. 

There was no reply but she didn’t let it put her off.

“You didn’t leave?” Alex found herself relieved. There was a quiet croak, the sound of a throat trying to do something other than clench and hurt. 

“You’re mine Alex,” Maggie found the words from behind the door. “I would never walk out, ever.”

“Thank you. I know you’re not happy right now but I want you to know I’m grateful that you didn’t do that.”

“Do you mind if I just stay in here a while? I don’t want to talk right now.”

“No that’s,” Alex scratched her head and winced. “That’s alright. Is it okay if I just sit here and talk instead? Would you mind that?”

“Yes, I do mind.”

“I’d like to tell you a story. It’s er, it’s a sad story about a friend of mine,” Alex warned and sank to the floor. She curled herself up against the doorframe so she could press her cheek against the glass and not have to talk so loud, “Do you remember that counsellor who came to see us?” Alex whispered quietly, “The one who said it would help if we talked about it as if it had happened to…” she stalled and didn’t know how to admit what happened to them, still. “I can leave you alone if you don’t want to hear it though?”

Maggie didn’t reply, instead she just pressed her small tan palm into the coolness of the glass. She needed the story, and Alex knew it.

“So, erm, my friend,” Alex started and stalled.

Maggie tapped the glass softly. Alex sighed and took the hint, placing her own hand over the outline of where Maggie’s sat. It helped.

“My friend was pregnant with her first baby, and she felt so lucky because her and her alpha only had to try once and it just… happened. A perfect little miracle.” Alex’s heart already began to clench, already started to throttle her lungs so hard that the words felt like they couldn’t slip out.

If she didn’t say anything then it never happened, and if it didn’t happen then they didn’t have to deal with it. In theory, and in practice for a little while too, it seemed like a good idea. In her most private thoughts Alex thought it might still be a good idea, for her at least. But that just wasn’t the way marriages worked, and she knew she should have realised that sooner.

“Anyway,” Alex cleared her throat and shook the thought, “She had a great pregnancy. Some mothers talk about morning sickness, feeling lethargic, tired, all of that stuff… but she… she loved every minute of it.” Alex grinned and touched her round belly, and the thought occurred to her that she hadn’t even allowed herself that joy once with this pregnancy.

The realisation made her sore and guilty.

“Everyone was so happy for her, for them. It felt like this joy that everyone could just take a little piece of because there was just so much of it, more than enough to go around. I think she felt guilty about the most, I think it made her feel… like she had let everyone down and took the joy away.”

The crack of Maggie’s sob broke the silence.

For a moment Alex thought she should stop, should apologise and just carry on pretending. 

That was the problem though.

Maggie couldn’t just pretend. 

Maggie couldn’t put it away. 

Maggie was still waiting to be able to cry, and grieve, and hurt, and move on.

Maggie couldn’t fix herself without Alex.

“My friend was around seven months pregnant, she was in touching distance from her due date and something...” Alex stopped. She realised she was crying too. “Something happened,” she managed.

There was silence. Maggie’s hand slowly retreated from the frosted glass and for a moment Alex wasn’t sure whether she was about to vomit into the porcelain bowl or unlock the door. 

There was a click of the lock. A quick fiddle of the handle. Then Maggie was in front of her—teary eyed and smaller than Alex could remember ever seeing.

“What happened?” Maggie croaked.

Violent tears came in thick breathless sobs, loud booming sobs that took the air right out Alex’s chest. “I went into labour too early,” she whimpered, guiltily. “The baby was just too little.”

Maggie’s arms are quick and warm, they trap her, envelope her, hold her so tight there is no room for bad thoughts or that persistent self-blaming that follows her thoughts. 

There’s just love. 

Just them. 

Just two imperfect people trying to get through it together.

Maggie hushed her, “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t, Alex.”

“He was breathing. I held him in my arms and he took a breath and then there was just… _nothing_.”

“It wasn’t your fault babe,” Maggie whispered into her chin.

“His little hands,” Alex gagged, stuck in the memory of ten perfect fingers that simply refused to curl up the way babies fists tend to.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Maggie planted it into her temple.

“I know that, I know it’s not my fault but it just…” Alex pushed forward until her chin was shuddering on the ball of Maggie’s warm shoulder. “It just feels that way, that’s all. After a while it got easier if I just pretended it wasn’t as bad as it was, it made me feel like I didn’t let people down so much.”

“You refused to talk about it and it made me feel like you couldn’t trust me,” Maggie admitted and pulled her in tighter. “It made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to grieve, as if I was less than his mother because I didn’t…”

“No.” Alex winced and slipped her arms tighter around the back of her wife’s neck. This was good. In some violent, awful, cathartic way, all of this was good. “It didn’t matter if I carried him or not, he was yours, had your chin and that same mole on his butt,” she chuckled sadly and felt it hurt.

“He was ours.”

“And he always will be,” Alex ached out the words.

“I need to be able to talk about him, sometimes.”

“I can do that for you.”

“I need you to stop telling people it was a miscarriage, a little bleeding, all that stuff. It was more than that and I don’t want to feel I have to be okay just because you’ve learned to be okay. _I’m not okay_ , Alex.”

Alex dried her tears. “I’m not okay either…” her voice became staccato and unsteady, “but maybe we can be on each other’s team and figure it out together?” She asked it hopefully.

“I’m always on your team.” The warm kiss comes quick, reassuringly, sweet and soft and determined to plant love letters over this pain until the knowledge sticks somewhere in Alex’s mind that this is not a thing to bury and hide away. It’s something to grieve, something to work through together.

“I love you,” Alex mumbled.

Maggie scooped her up and slipped a hand over the side of her belly, rubbing the one particular spot that was always made sore thanks to jostling tiny elbows and sometimes an eager heel. In the back of her mind, in the quiet place between the things that had happened and the things happening now, Alex felt the tiniest ebb of hope start to bloom. It was strange how cathartic the hand smoothing over her belly felt, almost as if this was them letting go of pain and surrendering to joy once again.

There was a faint knock on the door.

Maggie grew tense and furious.

“Maggie don’t.” Alex grabbed her alpha’s arms, “If Kara came here it’s because she’s scared—”

“We’re all scared, Alex.” Maggie gave her a stern look, “We’re all dealing as best we can but if there’s one thing I’m pretty certain about it’s that Kara needs to stand on her own two feet this time. I need us to focus on us right now, not your little sister.”

“Maggie we can’t turn her away…”

“She got a girl pregnant and is somehow at my doorstep instead of over there figuring it out. You’re damn right I can turn her away tonight, Alex.”

 

***

 

Kara cried and waited by the deep green door for what felt like an eternity. The neighbours coming up the stairwell grew quiet and avoided her eyes, simply shaking their heads and carrying on their way. It made for a pathetic sight, which she already knew, but the burdens of the evening were sitting heavy on her shoulders like boulders she could barely stumble forward beneath. Lena was behind the leak, and worst of all, deep down, somewhere in her gut, Kara already knew. 

She just didn’t want to believe it.

In brief moments of clarity on the way over here she tried to come up with decent reasons, maybe Lilian was plotting to hurt her specifically and Lena thought the best way to stop her was to meet it head on, to protect the last daughter of Krypton with two fragile fists and one defiant human heart. Maybe Lena wanted to be brave. Maybe Lena wanted to take her mother down all by herself. It made for a pleasant fairytale in Kara’s mind, made it somewhat more bearable to swallow, but then she thought about the children on the alien registry.

The little girls.

The babies.

The nimble little sons making happy lives for themselves here on earth.

Kara couldn’t escape the fact that they had to mean more than the thin sentiment of Lena wanting to protect her, no matter how much it hurt. No matter how much she was wrestling with the desire to fly back to the apartment and beg on her knees for Lena to take her back, to let her fix this mess, to help her write a soft epilogue where the two of them would get to live happily ever after despite the odds, despite the overwhelming daily reminders that theirs is a love that the solar systems and stars in their infinite wisdom decided eons ago wasn’t supposed to be.

The door swung open suddenly. Kara stood straighter and wiped her eyes.

“What’s up?” Maggie hummed, and she looked as if she had been crying too.

“Can I come in?” Kara already began to take a step before a palm pressed into her chest, blocking her.

Kara looked up and saw it, the grinding frustration. It poured from Maggie’s displeased expression like hot rays of sunlight that had Kara already wincing. She went to speak but Maggie raised a hand and looked over her shoulder, checking for listening ears.

“What are you doing here Kara?” Maggie turned back, full of disappointment.

“Lena told me the truth and I...I don’t know where else to go?”

“You can’t be a scared little alpha anymore, unsure of yourself and trying to put the puzzle pieces together. Lena is pregnant and frightened and I’m sorry that you don’t know how to be the hero of that story but that’s something you need to go and figure out away from here tonight.”

Kara blinked and felt the colour rush out of herself. 

“What did you just say?” The words slipped out stilted, dazed even. Maggie’s brow furrowed and her eyes widened in realisation. 

“Lena hasn’t told you yet,” Maggie whispered and closed her eyes in immediate regret.

“ _Pregnant?_ ” Kara mouthed the word.

“Well now you better come inside.” Maggie scratched her head and opened the door.

Kara stumbled backwards with a mortified expression, hands wrenching up around her mouth and teeth chattering into each other like ivory piano keys bashing out of rhythm. There’s a single thought that sticks in her mind: she told Lena she wouldn’t survive a baby the same way her sister did, and she absolutely didn’t mean she wouldn’t survive a baby, but rather she wouldn’t survive losing one. 

“I have to go,” Kara mumbled and blinked, collecting herself, picking her jaw up off the floor. “I’ve got to get over there right now.”

 

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	23. Chapter XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient. We're back on, ladies.

Nothing within the apartment was out of place when she finally got there. Kara wasn’t sure why that stuck as funny in her mind but she couldn’t help imagine walking into unfolding chaos. The low hanging light fixtures swinging around wildly. The sofa cushions scattered about the place. The coffee table shattered and left in shards across the marble. The curtains billowing and blowing inwards beside an open balcony. She anticipated every moment of it, and yet, as Kara stepped inside, the apartment was quiet and almost serene.

“Lena?” She parted her dried lips on the call of her name.

There was no response.

“Are you here?” Kara called out again with a gulp and wandered inside.

The silence became overbearing and violent. It hung in the air like a heaviness that threatened to swallow Kara whole with each passing moment. In the two minutes it took her to get here, she had already ran through every romantic grand thing she could say to make this right. In her wildest hopes, Lena would have answered the door, and she would have said, out of breath, “I am an idiot. A blind stupid scared idiot who loves you more than I could ever say. I got it wrong, and I’m sorry about that, but I am here now and I will not leave you again.”

She quickly became aware that despite her best intentions the perfect fairytale words were not enough to fix this. In the rapture of Lena’s unanswered name, the alpha in her chest became thrumming and restless. It bashed against her ribs and made her feet fast and her brain too scattered to make use of her powers. All she could do was scramble, helplessly, and look for symptoms that Lena was still here.

“Lena?” Kara called out again, breathlessly.

The faintest sound of a sniffle radiated down the hallway from the closed bathroom door. Kara inhaled a guilty and relieved breath.

“Lena,” she said tentatively and walked down the hallway towards the bathroom door. “It’s alright, it’s me,” she reassured.

Kara stopped dead in her tracks. It dawned on her suddenly that it wasn’t a reassurance at all. She was the reason for all of this, for the immovable feeling in her chest, and surely Lena’s too, that the world was falling apart. ‘It’s alright, it’s only me,’ wasn’t a reassurance, it was a threat. It was as good as a promise that she would find yet more ways to screw this up, both of them right along with it. This wasn’t the part at the end of a film where the idiot came rushing back to tell the girl he was sorry, that he made a mistake, that it was always them and he sees that now. This wasn’t a limousine careening towards Julia Roberts building with Richard Gere clambering up the fire escape to confess his love—Her and Alex watched that movie so many times the tape wore out, and as a teenager, the persistent thought existed in her brain that doleful idiots rushing back to the girl was how happy endings came to be.

It all seemed so silly now, because thin pretty words are not enough to make this right, nor should they ever be, not when something as precious as a baby found itself involved in this mess. 

Kara’s hand hesitated over the door handle and all she could do was inhale a breath so big it made her ribs jut outwards. There was a baby. A little part of them both growing inside of Lena’s belly. A person who didn’t even exist yet and, still, she would die a thousand times to keep them safe.

Kara slowly began to twist the door handle.

“Don’t!” Lena shouted through the door, panicked.

Kara snatched her hand away and blinked, unsure of herself all of a sudden. “Okay?” She replied, utterly relieved to finally hear her voice and yet unprepared all the same.

“Go away,” Lena’s voice slumped in defeat through the closed door. “Do what you do best and fly away, Supergirl.”

“You know I keep thinking I know what’s best and maybe that’s a big part of the problem. I don’t want to do that anymore: listen to what you say and then turn it into whatever it is I want to hear. It’s just… I can’t help but think you don’t really mean that? And if you want me to go, well, I will. I really will Lena. But I’m not too proud to beg you to change your mind?”

It was the silence that came after that scared her. The quiet. The stifflingness of it. The overbearingly loud thud of a drip from the faucet smashing into the sink. Kara found herself most scared of the possibility that Lena would recant and tell her to stay, utterly unsure on the things she wanted to say and the things that must be said in order to get her on the path towards making this right. She stared at the door and waited for what felt like a century, certain she was gathering dust.

“I had this whole plan that I could fix everything by myself and we would get a happy ending,” Lena’s voice wavered.

“Me too,” Kara conceded with a rub of her neck.

“I guess you know everything then?”

“Yeah, I guess I do. I’m still here though, still kicking.”

Lena laughed sadly through the door. “You’re never here, Kara. Not really.” 

The words immediately hurt the little hero.

“I guess I haven’t been very good at sticking around for you, have I?”

“Happy endings, right? Who needs them?” Lena sighed and the sound of knees scraping themselves up off the tiles were heard. It had Kara breathing a little easier. Lena continued as the faucet was run, “Do you get it now? When you said, ‘There were children on that list and you didn’t think about a single one of them.’ Can you try to fathom the idea that maybe it wasn’t just my daughter or son I was trying to save?”

“It was everyone’s,” Kara said with a troubled sigh, her teeth nibbling her lips. “Does I’m sorry even come close to fixing this? Does it even warm you up to the idea of hearing me out?” The question scared her.

“Not really.”

Kara dropped her voice to just above a whisper and pressed her forehead into the door, “I didn’t think it would but do you mind if I try anyway? Because I’m sorry isn’t even a little bit of what you deserve but right now it’s the only thing I can give you. It’s choking me Lena. It’s bubbling in my lungs and I cannot breathe because of it. I can’t take the things I said back but I can say I’m sorry and I can really, really mean it and I know apologies are thrown around so easily between us but it’s not like that this time… It’s not.”

The door swung open and suddenly she was there. Kara took a step back and tried to hush the Alpha clawing at her lungs into a state of obedience. It was those glassy emerald eyes that made the task impossible. Kara looked down and it was then the slight pregnant curve of a belly that had her heart racing and her palms wet. The quiver of Lena’s throat was next, that long and thunderous quiver as if an entire war speech was trapped in there on the brink of itself. It was worse than she could have ever imagined, because Lena was an entire supernova hellbent on not collapsing inward, and, somehow, she was succeeding magnificently.

Kara licked her lips, “There’s a part of me that I’m wrestling with right now, it’s that primal bit of me that wants to pick you up off of your feet and take care of you and not let a single damn thing hurt you ever again—myself included.” Kara paused, her jaw stretching to the side with a long breath as she reclaimed herself piece by piece. “I came here with it rolling around in the back of my head, you know? This idea that I could just… love you in the right way and somehow put you back together again.”

“You think I’m too far gone?” Kara watched her eyes dart up and the corners of her lips push down in the opposite direction.

“No honey, no not that.” Kara inhaled and tried to make herself brave. “It’s just you don’t need me to save you. I don’t know why I’m only realising that now because when have you ever needed me to keep the stars hanging in your sky? You do that all by yourself. Even now. Even when I’ve hurt you more than…well. You get the point,” Kara said with a sigh and glanced down at her feet. “Why didn’t you just tell me, Leen?” The tears made her eyes sting.

Lena pursed her lips and her eyes grew wider, as if she were only just figuring out she too wasn’t sure of the answers anymore. Kara watched her shrink. It began in her shoulders, they slumped and crumbled from defiant mountains into shy piles. Next, her tongue pushed into the corner of her the teeth curiously, as if she might find the answer hiding in her mandible.

“Did you think I wouldn’t care?” Kara asked, dumbfounded.

“No, I was scared you wouldn’t do anything else,” Lena never missed a beat. Her eyes became focused and unmoveable in Kara’s direction. “It was so easy being your Omega—your small soft woman that you wanted so desperately to save and be saved by in turn—but you are barely twenty-four, with so many dreams and mistakes you need to make.” Lena pushed a sad smile. “I couldn’t take a single moment of that from you, and it wasn’t that I thought you would never find out. No, never that. It was just…” she paused in thought, briefly. “I thought if I made the problem of my mother disappear all by myself, if I showed you that even in the most _trying_ of situations I can be a good woman at my core, then you would realise you didn’t have to stay out of obligation.”

“Well. We made a big old mess, didn’t we?”

“Quite.” Lena shook her head in disbelief and closed her eyes.

“Did you, er, ever consider the possibility that maybe not being the last of my kind anymore might have been the dream this whole time?” Kara couldn’t help but give her the look she reserved for obvious things.

“I considered it. I considered a lot of possibilities. I was slightly preoccupied with the whole trying to dispatch my mother and secretly grow a tiny person thing.”

“Understandable.”

“You think so?”

“It’s more than anything I’ve brought to the table so far, so yeah, for sure.”

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve missed this feeling, talking to you.”

“But we talk all the time...” Kara said and stopped, she paused and looked Lena up and down. “You mean not having to lie to me about things. Should I take that as this is everything now? All cards on the table?”

“There’s a lot of cards but yes, I think so.”

“Are you sure? Nothing else I need to know?”

“Oh.” Lena blinked as if she were suddenly remembering something. “My mother thinks I’m in cahoots with her, you probably know that though. Oh! The cheesecake thing—”

“Stop,” Kara couldn’t help but laugh as she said it. “I don’t know if all the cards will ever be on the table with you but maybe catching glimpses at your hand can be enough, for a while at least.”

“That seems more reasonable than I’ve ever gave you credit for.”

“Am I allowed to let myself have the excitement yet? Just a little of it?” Kara leaned forward hopefully. “I know now might not be the time or place and I know there’s a long way between here and…wherever we need to be to make this good for both of us, but I keep seeing ten tiny toes in my head and it’s really hard to think about anything else right now.”

“I think it’s a girl, you know?” Lena smiled softly. “I just have this feeling.”

“I don’t think I’ll survive two of you.” It earned a slap to Kara’s arm. It made the saviour chuckle.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this you telling me you’re in? No more out?”

“I’m in, for real this time.” Kara nodded and leaned forward further. “I’m in baby,” she whispered and tried for a kiss.

“Woah!” Lena flinched backwards.

At first she wanted to argue, the urge came quickly, furiously even. The protest. The promise. The reassurance that it was real. That she was real. That mistakes could be righted and they too could be made right and whole. Kara looked her up and down and saw it clear as day, the desire to be kissed, the want to be held, the need to not have to be strong right now. The realisation that it wasn’t a rebuttal but an act of survival only made her all the more guilty. The apartment finally won, silence reigned between them.

“I’m, I’m sorry,” Lena finally spoke, she licked her lips and fought with herself. “I meant with the pregnancy. Not, you know, with us.” She looked away and couldn’t quite meet Kara’s disappointed eyes.

“Did I mess it up that bad?”

“This isn’t me saying never,” Lena clarified with a hopeful glance.

Lena stepped closer and took her hand. Kara watched it like an onlooker, her palm being invited towards the tiniest curve of a pregnant tummy. Suddenly, she was made to understand, was made to empathise and share the burden. She stood there utterly dumbfounded with her hand pushed out, aware she would never be whole again. There was a tiny piece of her heart stuffed inside of Lena’s tummy. It would grow, and it would blink, and it would curl its ten tiny toes and need them to protect it for the rest of its life. She would _never_ be whole again.

Kara felt two palms cup her quivering cheeks. “Kara,” Lena said, her thumbs drying two runaway tears. “There is a tiny person who needs us to not be so terrible at being in love and I know that might not be the answer you want right now but things are better when we’re friends. We’re so good at being friends.”

“Right, sure, of course.” Kara nodded emphatically, “I totally get it, I do.”

“Can we be friends? For now?”

“I’m always your friend, Lena. Always.”

Lena seemed unsatisfied with the answer, as if she too wanted more. Kara watched her sigh and rub the back of her neck, suddenly unsure on what to do with herself.

“Well, I guess we should sit down and heat up the food. I think it’s time I make you part of the plan. It’s the least I can do, all things considered.”

 

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